7:30 AM
Dude got his hands on real coffee. Yeah Man!!! It was instant and I filled half the cup with those grounds. Ha! Feels good to have that in me. This is day three of waking up feelin' good.
They don't turn the phones on until 11:00 AM. I just want to call my mom and tell her things are gonna be ok.
12:15 PM
I kinda have an attitude today. Its off and on. I ate lunch at the cafeteria by myself today. Started havin' thoughts that people are avoiding me. I don't think this is the case, if it is, fuck-em. I'm here for me. The 'tough guys' walkin' around don't fuck with me. I'm pretty tight with the black folks. Black folks are more real than these petty others.
When I get out of here I'm gonna fuck the shit out of one of my ex-girlfriends. She's just waitin' for me to get out. I'm not talking about 'M', she's dead to me.
I have NO sex drive up in here but when I get out I'm gonna do major fucking. Its weird, as I write that I know its not me. I'm not like that. I want a REAL relationship, not just a fuck buddy like 'M'. 'M' was real to me but I was just a stiff cock to her. Fuck her!
12:45 PM
I called to check on Shaman. They say he's doin' just fine.
On my way to group therapy. Let's see how this goes.
2:00 PM
Group was cool. It was a brief discussion on CBT.
A bunch of new folks arrived today. New faces, new perspectives. I like to be able to see through other people's eyes sometimes.
Its funny. We aren't allowed to have tea or coffee with caffeine in it but they have Mountain Dew in the vending machine. I've been drinking a shitload of that!
I was falling asleep in group so I think I need a nap. I'm allowed 1 valium a day so I'll take that before bed to insure I sleep.
Why do I like myself sometimes and hate myself at others?
5:30 PM
They have a computer room here. I asked my therapist if I could volunteer to teach basic computer skills to folks. I used to be a Technical Trainer for a large ISP. This would be good for me and good for others.
I was told that my discharge date will be September 9th. I think the time will go by quick.
I haven't hurt myself since that one time I put my cigarette out on my arm. I need to start caring about myself more. I really don't think I'm a bad person but, then again, I'm biased.
Fuck I've written a lot since I've been here. Poor Bluelight! My plan is to transfer all this to my blog. There's gonna be a lot of fuckin' entries!
I hope Pillthrill is doing ok. I don't have ANY phone numbers or addresses with me.
9:00 PM
They asked if I would speak at the 8:00 meeting tonight. I did but didn't feel like I had anything to offer. Apparently I did. It feels good.
Dude got his hands on real coffee. Yeah Man!!! It was instant and I filled half the cup with those grounds. Ha! Feels good to have that in me. This is day three of waking up feelin' good.
They don't turn the phones on until 11:00 AM. I just want to call my mom and tell her things are gonna be ok.
12:15 PM
I kinda have an attitude today. Its off and on. I ate lunch at the cafeteria by myself today. Started havin' thoughts that people are avoiding me. I don't think this is the case, if it is, fuck-em. I'm here for me. The 'tough guys' walkin' around don't fuck with me. I'm pretty tight with the black folks. Black folks are more real than these petty others.
When I get out of here I'm gonna fuck the shit out of one of my ex-girlfriends. She's just waitin' for me to get out. I'm not talking about 'M', she's dead to me.
I have NO sex drive up in here but when I get out I'm gonna do major fucking. Its weird, as I write that I know its not me. I'm not like that. I want a REAL relationship, not just a fuck buddy like 'M'. 'M' was real to me but I was just a stiff cock to her. Fuck her!
12:45 PM
I called to check on Shaman. They say he's doin' just fine.
On my way to group therapy. Let's see how this goes.
2:00 PM
Group was cool. It was a brief discussion on CBT.
A bunch of new folks arrived today. New faces, new perspectives. I like to be able to see through other people's eyes sometimes.
Its funny. We aren't allowed to have tea or coffee with caffeine in it but they have Mountain Dew in the vending machine. I've been drinking a shitload of that!
I was falling asleep in group so I think I need a nap. I'm allowed 1 valium a day so I'll take that before bed to insure I sleep.
Why do I like myself sometimes and hate myself at others?
5:30 PM
They have a computer room here. I asked my therapist if I could volunteer to teach basic computer skills to folks. I used to be a Technical Trainer for a large ISP. This would be good for me and good for others.
I was told that my discharge date will be September 9th. I think the time will go by quick.
I haven't hurt myself since that one time I put my cigarette out on my arm. I need to start caring about myself more. I really don't think I'm a bad person but, then again, I'm biased.
Fuck I've written a lot since I've been here. Poor Bluelight! My plan is to transfer all this to my blog. There's gonna be a lot of fuckin' entries!
I hope Pillthrill is doing ok. I don't have ANY phone numbers or addresses with me.
9:00 PM
They asked if I would speak at the 8:00 meeting tonight. I did but didn't feel like I had anything to offer. Apparently I did. It feels good.
