I'm writing my first blog after just now filling out my profile's biography and I'm going for the same creepy feeling I think that biography gives off. I'm just not a creepy guy, lol. After waking up from being comatose for a month I spent the next year trying to understand daily life and learned what emotions were. I worked for my aunt so I'd have a little income the end of that year but the beginning of '99 I decided to join the U.S. NAVY and upon taking their tests joined to become a nuclear engineer who would manage the power used to run and operate aircraft carriers and submarines. I made it 7 weeks through basic training before emotions became something I began to feel for the first time and didn't understand what they were or how to control them. When you're crying hard for hours and have no reason why petty officers and chiefs ask questions. I was given a medical discharge and that was a bit confusing, but I did know one thing; I was totally in the way of the others in my division because I went from being a leader to being a casualty of war, lol. I spent 6am to 9pm at the Chicago/O'hare airport waiting on a flight back home, and got here about 3am the next morning. I was like an innocent child at this point, and how I'd remained this way for so long I don't know. It lasted until June 26th, 1999.
The navy got me in shape, 6'1 and 195lbs, and still following the same daily routine I'd learned while in training. I couldn't sleep that night, all I had in my head was fall in love, get married, and have kids. I didn't know what the hell any of that meant. 19yrs old and not understanding my thoughts or my body's hormones I just wanted to dance, sing, and be around other people. That's something I knew would distract my thoughts and make them go away. Most of the memories from my life's past events were still blurry or gone, but I could tell you the name of everyone I'd ever met in life, what they looked like, and how I knew them. That night I decided to go to a club because it was late and there were people. I'd never been to one before, but I could hear the music outside in my car as I drove by the place and there were people waiting to get inside. I talked to the first familiar face I saw, he happened to be rolling at the moment too and asked me why I looked so down. Then he said, "oh yeah, you had that wreck and got killed, hahaha. The news had to recall all those papers. Here, take this and you won't care about it, smile man this is good shit!! :D "
He wasn't lying either, double stacked mitsubishi is what it was called when I asked him some time later with a smile on my face. When I asked for a little more info than that he said it was roll, X, ecstasy. I didn't care for or do drugs growing up, didn't know I was bipolar and the brain hemorrhage exacerbated it 100x fold, but I did know I liked what I felt and I wanted to share it with everyone I could. I had money from my wreck settlement, and I had something I wanted to do that was within my grasp. On Wednesday July 7th, 1999 at about 11:30pm I wrote a little letter saying bye, c-ya later, left it on my grandmother's kitchen table, and left for San Antonio Texas, 13.5hrs from home. I left to meet a chick that could get her hands on any and every drug out there because I wanted to try them all. Met her in an AOL chatroom. Risks weren't something I knew yet, and didn't feel for quite a while. So I took one after another w/o even knowing it. Innocent and care-free I started driving without saying a word to anyone about where I was going.
I do have a life that I understand completely now though and I"m stopping here, I've got some laundry to do and dishes to wash, a few people I've got to call, and a 3yr old daughter to take care of.
Adios muchacho's,
Until next time,
take care & God bless [o<
EcHo =o)
The navy got me in shape, 6'1 and 195lbs, and still following the same daily routine I'd learned while in training. I couldn't sleep that night, all I had in my head was fall in love, get married, and have kids. I didn't know what the hell any of that meant. 19yrs old and not understanding my thoughts or my body's hormones I just wanted to dance, sing, and be around other people. That's something I knew would distract my thoughts and make them go away. Most of the memories from my life's past events were still blurry or gone, but I could tell you the name of everyone I'd ever met in life, what they looked like, and how I knew them. That night I decided to go to a club because it was late and there were people. I'd never been to one before, but I could hear the music outside in my car as I drove by the place and there were people waiting to get inside. I talked to the first familiar face I saw, he happened to be rolling at the moment too and asked me why I looked so down. Then he said, "oh yeah, you had that wreck and got killed, hahaha. The news had to recall all those papers. Here, take this and you won't care about it, smile man this is good shit!! :D "
He wasn't lying either, double stacked mitsubishi is what it was called when I asked him some time later with a smile on my face. When I asked for a little more info than that he said it was roll, X, ecstasy. I didn't care for or do drugs growing up, didn't know I was bipolar and the brain hemorrhage exacerbated it 100x fold, but I did know I liked what I felt and I wanted to share it with everyone I could. I had money from my wreck settlement, and I had something I wanted to do that was within my grasp. On Wednesday July 7th, 1999 at about 11:30pm I wrote a little letter saying bye, c-ya later, left it on my grandmother's kitchen table, and left for San Antonio Texas, 13.5hrs from home. I left to meet a chick that could get her hands on any and every drug out there because I wanted to try them all. Met her in an AOL chatroom. Risks weren't something I knew yet, and didn't feel for quite a while. So I took one after another w/o even knowing it. Innocent and care-free I started driving without saying a word to anyone about where I was going.
I do have a life that I understand completely now though and I"m stopping here, I've got some laundry to do and dishes to wash, a few people I've got to call, and a 3yr old daughter to take care of.
Adios muchacho's,
Until next time,
take care & God bless [o<
EcHo =o)
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
