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day 4 off gear

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rlyon37

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
Messages
1
Well here goes! Feeling better physically but my head is up my arse. Was an active alcoholic for 5 years although loved the party scene from 16. Suffered pancreatitis 2 years ago then got stabbed up and realised I couldn't go on like this. My kids were devastated and gave up the ale. Soon had to fill that void and stop the nightmares so went back to heroin after nearly 20 years !! Did my meth rattle 2 months ago but went straight bk to gear. I've lost everything but I know I can bounce back. I'm 37 from Liverpool England and coming up to 84 hours without anything. The one thing keeping me going is 2 of my 3 kids still talk to me but know very little. I have to stay sober and get my life in order. Anyone struggling, I know how it feels but I know the benefits far outweigh going bk to that crap. Peace out!
 
Hi rlyon

Welcome to bluelight congrats on your 84 hours clean that's more than I been able to do in the last year n half or so. I started with weed and alcohol was an alcoholic for 7ish year then quit by picking up my oxy habit. Working on stoping for the millionth time but going to dr tomorrow not tried that yet I'm wishful and scared about it at same time. Good luck keep us updated look forward to hearing of your success
 
Hi Ryton and fatcat I'm new to the forum, and also on my 4th day clean I have a urine or swab test tomorrow. I have done 5days off gear and caved in told drug worker I was ill, 3 days back on a teeth a day foolishly, back to 4 days off caved again said I had a dentist appointment, used 4 days teeth a day until Friday just gone and now I'm here and a test I cannot back out of tomorrow due to court order if I'm positive I can kiss contact with my kids goodbye, I I can't believe I been so stupid to use, and it's crap gear round here. Im on 30ml of methadone weekly pick up.
 
Wow, congrats to all. I am no H addict, but my daughter was for about 8 years. Two years clean now... It can be done. Stick with it. She lost her first child to the welfare state (unfit mother) that was a wake up call to grow up and straighten out. She now has a second child, and the first one back off the state... Went cold turkey ... Came off H onto Benzos, then alcohol and cigarettes, then food - she is now big as... But clean. It can be done. Be strong. Good luck.
 
rlyon37 said:
Well here goes! Feeling better physically but my head is up my arse. Was an active alcoholic for 5 years although loved the party scene from 16. Suffered pancreatitis 2 years ago then got stabbed up and realised I couldn't go on like this. My kids were devastated and gave up the ale. Soon had to fill that void and stop the nightmares so went back to heroin after nearly 20 years !! Did my meth rattle 2 months ago but went straight bk to gear. I've lost everything but I know I can bounce back. I'm 37 from Liverpool England and coming up to 84 hours without anything. The one thing keeping me going is 2 of my 3 kids still talk to me but know very little. I have to stay sober and get my life in order. Anyone struggling, I know how it feels but I know the benefits far outweigh going bk to that crap. Peace out!
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Hi rlyon37 Well done on your days clean. I,m on day 2 and feeling pretty rough. i've taken a week of work to get clean after getting myself a habit with pain pills. I was a heroin addict for ten years but chucked it 7 years ago. After a few years clean and against my better judgement i started using prescribed pain pills to treat a chronic pain condition i had developed. It didnt go well and i was eating the whole script and topping up with stuff from the street before too long. I managed to hold down my job ( as an addiction worker, irony explosion) and kept it hidden but i cant do it anymore. I need to get back on the wagon. anyway, good luck with your detox and recovery. peace
 
I messed up, and he cancelled my test and I let myself down, and I used 20th to Friday 22nd then stopped sat sun he phoned me Monday and said come on Wed 4th so I used from Monday 25th till tomorrow which will be my last day so I have 6 days clean for test be it swab or urine. I don't feel any effect from the H, I wrote reminders in my phone for 4pm on my test day "DON'T WASTE MONEY ON THAT CRAP I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HIGH NOW AND FEEL NO DIFFERENT IT'S A TOTAL WASTE OF MONEY SO SAVE!" I have written similar reminders for following days, and even did list of pros and cons and a 10 min video so I can play it when Wednesday comes so I know I'm a fool to waste my money. I tried the kratom 20x resin diluted in Vape cig fluid, I smoke it in a joint and ate it, but obviously didn't have enough for effect. it shows the H is CRAP as I take 60ml of methadone first 2 days split 30 morn 30 night then stay on my prescribed 30 ml daily. I can't justify spending £30/55 a day.
If I do a planned detox off methadone when I have had a month of H is there an implant I can have as a blocker or something that will make me I'll if I try H again as if my mum, dad and sister know I've got the implant and I'm clean of H and methadone I think it would reinstall some trust and confidence in plus save the embarrassment of going to tesco for my methadone, going to drug meetings and number 1 no worrying about failing a drug test and not seeing my kids. They are 6 and 4 and I don't want them thinking their dad is weak my sons been through a lot been very poorly.
I'm a fully trained listener and mentor and I'm good at listening and giving good advice but CRAP at sorting my own problems out. I had thought of been hypnotised to stop drugs and smoking also I wanted the H testing somehow so I could prove to myself how poor quality it is.
I need to do it this time, and I've missed a few opportunities I have 4 weeks left before I go back to court and then I won't be under as much pressure and I don't want to slip back into the fold I need to be well off H by then.
Thanks for reading/listening
 
Good luck Tomtom. I'm on day 4 of cold turkey and starting to feel a little better. Not fighting fit yet but on the mend. You mentioned drug meetings? Were you talking about the fellowships? Do they not work for you? I got clean in there and it was the only thing that took the desire to use drugs away. My recent detox is from prescribed pain pills but my chaotic heroin use stopped when i went there. Whatever you do i hope it works for you bro. It doesnt sound like you've been enjoying it for a long time. Good luck.
 
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