Day 3 of no Kratom or other opiates

[itchywhiskers]

11:15 this morning, day 3 of no kratom or any other opiate/opioid. I feel.... depressed, not severe. I just feel like I have NOTHING to look forward to. me and my girlfriend broke up couple of day ago over a relapse, im just tired yall. mentally, not AS much physically. I caved and after day 2, I took a qtr of a Xanax bar to alleviate the RLS and I also took 1 mg of melatonin and 3 capsules (1200mg) valerican root and it didn't give me a high and it didn't take ALL my RLS discomfort away but I slepy longer than 5 hours last night. I made 3 meetings in 3 days and im planning on one tonight. might want to add that I smoke pot like its a cigarette. it helps the RLS but only to make me forget about it. & I want to add here that I know im not 100% clean but im not shoving needles in my arm and im not waking up HAVING to take something or im going to feel like asscake. 1 step at a time for me.

a little background, ive been a slave to the opiate chemical in many forms for 4 years+, got off heroin IV use and tried to move to suboxone with very great success. stayed on suboxone a year and 5 months but I was still being controlled by some chemical. Mind you I had abstained from a needle (which is awesome) but like I said I knew I was still a slave to a legal-demon. 4 months ago i decided to taper off suboxone, long story short, I relapsed. it scared me so bad that I went out and bought some kratom because I damn sure wasn't going backwards onto suboxone. Took the kratom for almost 2 weeks to combat the suboxone WD and it worked but, once again, I was dependent on a substance to help make it through the day. I prayed and prayed to my higher power for deliverance and mercy from this physically and spiritually binding chemical and sure enough I was granted the courage to stop on January 29th 2016.. 1st day was actually not that bad considering me and my gf broke up over my relapse due to (trust issues) w/e I cant think about that or I start to skew off like im doing now anyways, day 1 the anxiety was the only enemy here. day 2 (Yesterday) was a little more rough. it definitely isn't suboxone WD or H WD but it definitely isn't pleasing to the senses(doable). im on day 3, I took melatonin last night and valerian root along with a QTR of a Xanax bar (leery about them lil devils to) and got no high but was able to sleep. im just wanting some advice from someone whos been there and came out on the other side. I know I can do this, my higher power and our connection is very strong, im just needing some people to talk to. im going to my dad's house later (which is a change) just to talk and hang out and then to see my mom to get some Gabapentin for my RLS because I refuse to get hooked on Xanax too. The weed helps but in all honesty, my convictions from my higher power tell me im going to have to give that up too, sooner or later. advice and fellowship is needed here. thanks. - itchy

 

[w0w0mg]

Hang in there buddy.
I am recovering from IV heroin, I know the struggle.
I am using xanax and kratom to help me with getting thru my withdrawals.
I am kind of scared that I may have some WD from kratom but hopefully it won't be too bad.
Just keep doing it.
Gabapentin is FANTASTIC for opiate withdrawals and helping with RLS.
Be easy my friend.

 

[Droppersneck]

You got this bro. Really it doesnt get better till like a solid week out and your gut gets back in alignment. The typical respnse is work out and I cant stress this enough Idlike force myself to lift a bunch and for some reason it cuts the recovery time in half maybe bc it boosts your T level. Kratom is disgusting and lord knows what it does to your gut it causes one to shit blood so you are betteroff.

 

[w0w0mg]

You got this bro. Really it doesnt get better till like a solid week out and your gut gets back in alignment. The typical respnse is work out and I cant stress this enough Idlike force myself to lift a bunch and for some reason it cuts the recovery time in half maybe bc it boosts your T level. Kratom is disgusting and lord knows what it does to your gut it causes one to shit blood so you are betteroff.

Getting some physical activity does help I agree.
Kratom causing you to shit blood? I have never heard of this at all, lol.

 

[itchywhiskers]

im just so raw right now, I play this game called league of legends (its free and fun) helps keep my mind on something. I am superrrrr new here so tell me if I break any rules but im just like I said needing friends and advice.. as for working out, I started working out after seeing my older cousin get results from working out and tbh last night I went with him and I wasn't able to lift as much as I normally could but I could tell it was making me more sleepy.. (if you work out, its that stoned, goofy feeling) and like I said I went home, took a qtr of Xanax bar, melatonin, and valerian and here I am replying to you guys.. thank you SO much for replying with kind words. I am going to do this, just hit some bud and got a sense of euphoria I needed for today. luckily im off.

 

[itchywhiskers]

also want to add that although I took something (qtr Xanax bar<--- and that's nothing, I know, been there done that) it really helped. idk guys, ive got this mindset of, "instead of trying, just obey me." that's my higher power speaking but in any sense, im doing ok, other than my gf leaving me over my relapse but w/e the universe obviously has better in mind for me and I deserved it for being a dumbass and relapsing. btw that was my first REAL relapse.. or first time I ever thought about using IV as a relapse.. im growing. 25 yr old btw

 

[w0w0mg]

My girlfriend is obsessed with League of Legends, lol.
Yes, play a video game to keep your mind at bay. That does help alot.
Just remember it gets better over time, and we're glad you're here.
Sometimes it's nice just to find some support from people that have been exactly where you have been.