Hiya Everyone... Evey here again... I guess I can say day 2 for blogging in BL, eh! Every day I'm realising more n more that this community so very lovely n so friendly. I've not really had any bad experience, a little judgement because I'm currently on suboxone after codeine addiction but that has stopped now as I asked a moderator, who was very nice, to please close the... I'd like to ask please no judgement comments - I am an honest person I do not lying so yes I did have a 800mg daily codeine addiction, yes I am on 8mg Suboxone.
. I find it extremely OFFENSIVE when people say that codeine isn't as serious as OxyContin/Heroin addiction. It's one of the reasons that i refused to get help for so long n I could have died, leaving my child without a mam. People have died with codeine addiction or progressed on to oxy/H. Also I had similar issues to people with H/Oxy in terms of I nearly lost my family, have lost a LOT of friends n drained all my life saving n currently in debt plus ODd quite a few times. Not serious eh? Funny that because the local group I go to has H users n they never judge me or suggest that codeine isn't serious or that I shouldn't go on suboxone. They are very respectful of me n I am of them.
I ask if you are one of those going to judge me n you are unable to keep that to yourself then please refrain from commenting on my blogs. Please respect that this was my choice of recovery whether you feel that it is right or not is non of my concern or interest. I am on this site for recovery and recovery matters only. Yes I am currently experiencing issues with suboxone but so have others including people who have had addictions to H/OXY. I do not regret the choice I made.
Right...where was I? Visited a friend today for a few hours it was lovely to take my mind off things. There is a place I used to go along the paths of cyberspace that I am now restricted. I had this person contact me out of the blue saying I'm going to get reinstated n that agood friend of mine was talking about me. I've been extremely hurt by this but would love to be reinstated. Someone has been messing with me big time E-mailing me pretending to be men who like me n want to know me better, saying things like I've seen your photo n now I have deep feelings for you. WTF???? I may be thick but I'm not that thick. A month back someone E-mailed me pestering to see my boobs - I kept saying that sex is not a good subject for me n that I do not like doing those things or care to do those things (no disrespect to anyone that doed it's just NOT me....). I do not understand why these people are doing these things to me. They won't leave me alone.
Anyway i text my friend because the person who claims to be getting me reinstated said she was bitching to people n I got extremely concerned because although this person n I have fallen out a bit lately, she has some personal issues going on n with this person saying she was being mean to everyone (out of charactor for her) I was worried about her mental wellbeing over things. Well she texts me back saying that she's not been to this pace since I had. I forwarded her the E-mails I was receiving n she said she went to the place and stuck up for me.
I don't know what to think or believe anymore. I care for this friend deeply n am concerned for her as like i said, she's personal stuff going on which may be affecting her mentally. If i got this wrong then i have hurt her non necessarily n feel guilty but if i haven't n she is doing these things that they are saying because she did turn on me once n side with these people when they were bullying me n encouraging her to 'end the friendship n walk away as I'm no good for her recovery,' and that she should 'cut all contact with me'.
I don't know what to think or believe. What do I do here. How do i find out who is telling me the truth n who is messing with me?
I best be off to meeting.
Please take care you all,
All my love,
Evey
xxx
. I find it extremely OFFENSIVE when people say that codeine isn't as serious as OxyContin/Heroin addiction. It's one of the reasons that i refused to get help for so long n I could have died, leaving my child without a mam. People have died with codeine addiction or progressed on to oxy/H. Also I had similar issues to people with H/Oxy in terms of I nearly lost my family, have lost a LOT of friends n drained all my life saving n currently in debt plus ODd quite a few times. Not serious eh? Funny that because the local group I go to has H users n they never judge me or suggest that codeine isn't serious or that I shouldn't go on suboxone. They are very respectful of me n I am of them.
I ask if you are one of those going to judge me n you are unable to keep that to yourself then please refrain from commenting on my blogs. Please respect that this was my choice of recovery whether you feel that it is right or not is non of my concern or interest. I am on this site for recovery and recovery matters only. Yes I am currently experiencing issues with suboxone but so have others including people who have had addictions to H/OXY. I do not regret the choice I made.
Right...where was I? Visited a friend today for a few hours it was lovely to take my mind off things. There is a place I used to go along the paths of cyberspace that I am now restricted. I had this person contact me out of the blue saying I'm going to get reinstated n that agood friend of mine was talking about me. I've been extremely hurt by this but would love to be reinstated. Someone has been messing with me big time E-mailing me pretending to be men who like me n want to know me better, saying things like I've seen your photo n now I have deep feelings for you. WTF???? I may be thick but I'm not that thick. A month back someone E-mailed me pestering to see my boobs - I kept saying that sex is not a good subject for me n that I do not like doing those things or care to do those things (no disrespect to anyone that doed it's just NOT me....). I do not understand why these people are doing these things to me. They won't leave me alone.
Anyway i text my friend because the person who claims to be getting me reinstated said she was bitching to people n I got extremely concerned because although this person n I have fallen out a bit lately, she has some personal issues going on n with this person saying she was being mean to everyone (out of charactor for her) I was worried about her mental wellbeing over things. Well she texts me back saying that she's not been to this pace since I had. I forwarded her the E-mails I was receiving n she said she went to the place and stuck up for me.
I don't know what to think or believe anymore. I care for this friend deeply n am concerned for her as like i said, she's personal stuff going on which may be affecting her mentally. If i got this wrong then i have hurt her non necessarily n feel guilty but if i haven't n she is doing these things that they are saying because she did turn on me once n side with these people when they were bullying me n encouraging her to 'end the friendship n walk away as I'm no good for her recovery,' and that she should 'cut all contact with me'.
I don't know what to think or believe. What do I do here. How do i find out who is telling me the truth n who is messing with me?
I best be off to meeting.
Please take care you all,
All my love,
Evey
xxx
