Woke up to a loud speaker to have vitals taken. Took my valium to sleep through until the next dose so I can sleep. I just wanna get out of this unnecessary detox and get on to rehab itself.
So far a dude got caught with a cell phone, another dude got caught with Kolonopins and another dude keeps screamin' about twenty bucks that was apparently stolen.
A girl in here gave her methadone to some other girl who was dope sick. I told the nurse that I thought I actually did need methadone so I could tongue it and give it to the girl who gave hers away. They shot me down.
I'm bored and I miss my dog. I have no thoughts on my ex. Have a nice life 'M'. I will. Shit, I might even get laid up in here. Sex sucks for me if I can't go down on a girl. I ain't stickin' my dick in somethin' I can't eat.
I already want to leave. This detox is unnecessary and boring. I want to get high. I want to see my dog.
I WANT OUT OF HERE!
I want to go back to Colorado and turn my back on everyone. I want a TRUE friend (not that false friendship I had with 'M')
I WANT TO SEE MY DOG! He is a true friend.
FUCK EVERYONE!!!
9:00 PM
NOTE TO SELF: If I go through this shit again, remember to bring all one dollar bills. Assholes don't have a change machine in the detox unit and the vending machines only take ones. I almost was able to reach up inside the machine and grab some snacks but its not that important. Skinny dude said he could do it but I didn't want no one gettin' in trouble for an eighty-five cent Bear Claw.
They don't feed us enough here in the detox unit but in the rehab unit you can eat enough to keep ya goin'.
Oh! I had no idea valium was water soluble! I hear it gives a tiny rush when injected but its too late in the game for new firsts in the quest for gettin' high.
Time for another type of new firsts:
1) A woman that actually cares
2) A time when I actually give a fuck about myself
3) Can't think of anything else
I just gotta get out of this unit and get to the rehab unit. Time will fly by then and I'll actually be able to eat enough food to keep my stomach from growling.
I'm gonna eat a shitload of salads when I get to the next unit.
I had thoughts of punchin' one of the walls to break my hand and get discharged but all I need to do is get to the rehab unit. Two more days and I'll be on my way to gettin' better.
I still gotta get someone to clear all the shit outta my house (weed, beer, spikes).
Nothing is being accomplished in this unit except for a fondness for valium and a hungry stomach.
There are some good people here. I can do without the patients that think they are counselors. They don't know, they just recite NA/AA literature. I can memorize shit too but that doesn't mean I ever practiced it. Ain't no one better than anyone in here.
I never worried about food before this because was never hungry. I have an appetite now and am fuckin' hungry.
To 'M',
You fuckin' hurt me with your cold hearted text. Fuck you. Fuck your little friends that have no idea about us except for the drama you tell them. Didja ever tell them the good things about me? About us? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck more anonymous strangers. Happiness isn't through your pussy, sweetheart. Go ahead and chase after that cock. I'm never touching you again. If you ever contact me, I'll say everything I can to make you cry. I thought you were a friend. Fuck you. I used to be spellbound by you but I was actually spellbound by who I thought you were. Now go get some dick. Chase after it like I chased after drugs. I no longer wish you happiness. You'll never find it listening to your close-minded skeptical friends. "I'm out. I'm done." Fuck you, asshole.
12:15 AM
I picked up a wonderful new habit on my full day of unnecessary detox. Fuck ashtrays. I use my arm to put my cigarettes out on. I NEED TREATMENT NOT NEGATIVE OUTLETS FOR MY AGGRAVATION. Where are these tools they say say are available to help deal with things? I was close to punching a brick wall today. This place is not helping me. Everyone is still manipulating the system to get high. Trading methadone for valium, spitting liquid valium in each others mouths so they can get higher. I came here for help but I'm just learning new games to play. I refuse to play these games. I DO WANT TO HURT MYSELF STILL. I'M JUST LOOKING AND FINDING NEW WAYS TO DO SO.
So far a dude got caught with a cell phone, another dude got caught with Kolonopins and another dude keeps screamin' about twenty bucks that was apparently stolen.
A girl in here gave her methadone to some other girl who was dope sick. I told the nurse that I thought I actually did need methadone so I could tongue it and give it to the girl who gave hers away. They shot me down.
I'm bored and I miss my dog. I have no thoughts on my ex. Have a nice life 'M'. I will. Shit, I might even get laid up in here. Sex sucks for me if I can't go down on a girl. I ain't stickin' my dick in somethin' I can't eat.
I already want to leave. This detox is unnecessary and boring. I want to get high. I want to see my dog.
I WANT OUT OF HERE!
I want to go back to Colorado and turn my back on everyone. I want a TRUE friend (not that false friendship I had with 'M')
I WANT TO SEE MY DOG! He is a true friend.
FUCK EVERYONE!!!
9:00 PM
NOTE TO SELF: If I go through this shit again, remember to bring all one dollar bills. Assholes don't have a change machine in the detox unit and the vending machines only take ones. I almost was able to reach up inside the machine and grab some snacks but its not that important. Skinny dude said he could do it but I didn't want no one gettin' in trouble for an eighty-five cent Bear Claw.
They don't feed us enough here in the detox unit but in the rehab unit you can eat enough to keep ya goin'.
Oh! I had no idea valium was water soluble! I hear it gives a tiny rush when injected but its too late in the game for new firsts in the quest for gettin' high.
Time for another type of new firsts:
1) A woman that actually cares
2) A time when I actually give a fuck about myself
3) Can't think of anything else
I just gotta get out of this unit and get to the rehab unit. Time will fly by then and I'll actually be able to eat enough food to keep my stomach from growling.
I'm gonna eat a shitload of salads when I get to the next unit.
I had thoughts of punchin' one of the walls to break my hand and get discharged but all I need to do is get to the rehab unit. Two more days and I'll be on my way to gettin' better.
I still gotta get someone to clear all the shit outta my house (weed, beer, spikes).
Nothing is being accomplished in this unit except for a fondness for valium and a hungry stomach.
There are some good people here. I can do without the patients that think they are counselors. They don't know, they just recite NA/AA literature. I can memorize shit too but that doesn't mean I ever practiced it. Ain't no one better than anyone in here.
I never worried about food before this because was never hungry. I have an appetite now and am fuckin' hungry.
To 'M',
You fuckin' hurt me with your cold hearted text. Fuck you. Fuck your little friends that have no idea about us except for the drama you tell them. Didja ever tell them the good things about me? About us? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck more anonymous strangers. Happiness isn't through your pussy, sweetheart. Go ahead and chase after that cock. I'm never touching you again. If you ever contact me, I'll say everything I can to make you cry. I thought you were a friend. Fuck you. I used to be spellbound by you but I was actually spellbound by who I thought you were. Now go get some dick. Chase after it like I chased after drugs. I no longer wish you happiness. You'll never find it listening to your close-minded skeptical friends. "I'm out. I'm done." Fuck you, asshole.
12:15 AM
I picked up a wonderful new habit on my full day of unnecessary detox. Fuck ashtrays. I use my arm to put my cigarettes out on. I NEED TREATMENT NOT NEGATIVE OUTLETS FOR MY AGGRAVATION. Where are these tools they say say are available to help deal with things? I was close to punching a brick wall today. This place is not helping me. Everyone is still manipulating the system to get high. Trading methadone for valium, spitting liquid valium in each others mouths so they can get higher. I came here for help but I'm just learning new games to play. I refuse to play these games. I DO WANT TO HURT MYSELF STILL. I'M JUST LOOKING AND FINDING NEW WAYS TO DO SO.