8:20 AM
I dropped off three of the four "Treatment Objectives" to my therapist this morning and told her I will be leaving on Friday afternoon. She was ok with it.
There is no therapeutic value to the weekends here. I just need to wait for the phones to get turned on and call my mom and make arrangements with the kennel to pick up Shaman.
I just looked at Friday's schedule and have changed my mind on what time to leave. I think I'll head out at 9:45 am.
My email, text messages, voice mail and Facebook are probably blown up by now. I'm probably going to need to spend about an hour or two replying to messages.
10:00 PM
"Are you talkin' about the first thing or the second thing?" --Analyze This
I guess I'll start with the first thing...
It was between 7:00 PM and 7:30 PM and I was having a cigarette outside on the deck of our unit. There are two floors to the dual-diagnosis unit. Essentially, each floor is a separate group.
I was talking with people and moved my foot and knocked over a styrofoam cup with water. I said "Oh shit, I knocked over someone's water."
Next thing I hear is, "What the fuck?!?!?" and a dude steps out from underneath our balcony and yells something along the lines of "What the fuck you doin'" in a ghetto, tough guy voice.
I said, "Sorry dude, it was an accident".
There were maybe 8 to 10 of us on the deck and a few of them yelled down that it was an accident.
I was already standing up because I wanted to see who I had spilled water on. It was the dude that I have already pre-judged as an asshole because he struts around like a bad ass and is always trying to get in all the girls' pants (I consider this fucking with someone's recovery).
He yells up, "I don't give a shit if it was an accident or not" (or something along those lines.
I yelled down, "It was an accident you stupid mother fucker!"
He puffs his chest out and says, "Are you outta your mind?".
I said, "Fuck this!" and ran to the door, tossed my cigarette on the ground and flew down the stairs.
A girl that I'm friendly with yelled and tried to grab my arm "Jeff, no!"
I got down the stairwell and flung open the door. One of the Clinical Assistants (CA) was standing in front of the guy who was maybe 8' from the door. This CA is a REALLY cool guy and a big mother fucker. He isn't an addict but had done a lot of time in the penitentiary for whatever reason. I have a great deal of respect for him and view him as a true American Muslim (as opposed to those phony, contrary Muslims we have here in the States).
The asshole who I spilled the water on says "What? I'm supposed to be scared 'cause you came down the stairs?"
I say, "I don't give a fuck if you're scared or not, mother fucker!"
A female CA who I also have respect for had my my arm in both hands but it was a gentle hold. She said, "Jeff, its not worth your recovery."
At this point I realize that there was no way we could fight since there were so many people surrounding us (mostly staff at the facility).
The female CA says, "Jeff, come upstairs."
I turned around and went back up.
I was furious. Well, I was full of rage and adrenalin. My heart was racing, I was shaky and paced the hallway of the second floor with fists clenched.
I was feeling violent and wanted to put my fist through the wall but I didn't.
Later on, the girl that tried to stop me from running downstairs told me she saw the guy looking up at the deck and then walked over to a couple other guys downstairs and was talking to them and looking up at the deck.
This is rehab. I'm not concerned about being jumped by a bunch of dudes. There is no way this guy made 'real' friends willing to risk charges over a spilled cup of water.
I asked one roommate not to tell my skinhead friend roommate about what happened (he was walking with his girl when this happened). My skin friend is going home tomorrow morning/early afternoon. I don't want him involved if something goes down. Not only that, I promised I would take care of his pregnant girlfriend since she won't be leaving for a few days after him.
She's a good girl and her man is a good dude so I have no problem playing 'bodyguard'. I also told him I would make sure she was eating and comfortable in the event she is put on bed rest again due to her pregnancy.
I was wondering when and if the 'tough guy' shit was gonna happen here.
I dropped off three of the four "Treatment Objectives" to my therapist this morning and told her I will be leaving on Friday afternoon. She was ok with it.
There is no therapeutic value to the weekends here. I just need to wait for the phones to get turned on and call my mom and make arrangements with the kennel to pick up Shaman.
I just looked at Friday's schedule and have changed my mind on what time to leave. I think I'll head out at 9:45 am.
My email, text messages, voice mail and Facebook are probably blown up by now. I'm probably going to need to spend about an hour or two replying to messages.
10:00 PM
"Are you talkin' about the first thing or the second thing?" --Analyze This
I guess I'll start with the first thing...
It was between 7:00 PM and 7:30 PM and I was having a cigarette outside on the deck of our unit. There are two floors to the dual-diagnosis unit. Essentially, each floor is a separate group.
I was talking with people and moved my foot and knocked over a styrofoam cup with water. I said "Oh shit, I knocked over someone's water."
Next thing I hear is, "What the fuck?!?!?" and a dude steps out from underneath our balcony and yells something along the lines of "What the fuck you doin'" in a ghetto, tough guy voice.
I said, "Sorry dude, it was an accident".
There were maybe 8 to 10 of us on the deck and a few of them yelled down that it was an accident.
I was already standing up because I wanted to see who I had spilled water on. It was the dude that I have already pre-judged as an asshole because he struts around like a bad ass and is always trying to get in all the girls' pants (I consider this fucking with someone's recovery).
He yells up, "I don't give a shit if it was an accident or not" (or something along those lines.
I yelled down, "It was an accident you stupid mother fucker!"
He puffs his chest out and says, "Are you outta your mind?".
I said, "Fuck this!" and ran to the door, tossed my cigarette on the ground and flew down the stairs.
A girl that I'm friendly with yelled and tried to grab my arm "Jeff, no!"
I got down the stairwell and flung open the door. One of the Clinical Assistants (CA) was standing in front of the guy who was maybe 8' from the door. This CA is a REALLY cool guy and a big mother fucker. He isn't an addict but had done a lot of time in the penitentiary for whatever reason. I have a great deal of respect for him and view him as a true American Muslim (as opposed to those phony, contrary Muslims we have here in the States).
The asshole who I spilled the water on says "What? I'm supposed to be scared 'cause you came down the stairs?"
I say, "I don't give a fuck if you're scared or not, mother fucker!"
A female CA who I also have respect for had my my arm in both hands but it was a gentle hold. She said, "Jeff, its not worth your recovery."
At this point I realize that there was no way we could fight since there were so many people surrounding us (mostly staff at the facility).
The female CA says, "Jeff, come upstairs."
I turned around and went back up.
I was furious. Well, I was full of rage and adrenalin. My heart was racing, I was shaky and paced the hallway of the second floor with fists clenched.
I was feeling violent and wanted to put my fist through the wall but I didn't.
Later on, the girl that tried to stop me from running downstairs told me she saw the guy looking up at the deck and then walked over to a couple other guys downstairs and was talking to them and looking up at the deck.
This is rehab. I'm not concerned about being jumped by a bunch of dudes. There is no way this guy made 'real' friends willing to risk charges over a spilled cup of water.
I asked one roommate not to tell my skinhead friend roommate about what happened (he was walking with his girl when this happened). My skin friend is going home tomorrow morning/early afternoon. I don't want him involved if something goes down. Not only that, I promised I would take care of his pregnant girlfriend since she won't be leaving for a few days after him.
She's a good girl and her man is a good dude so I have no problem playing 'bodyguard'. I also told him I would make sure she was eating and comfortable in the event she is put on bed rest again due to her pregnancy.
I was wondering when and if the 'tough guy' shit was gonna happen here.
