Alcohol Daughter’s fiancé is an alcoholic

[Shinji Ikari]

I spent the first 7 years of my life living with a drunk and the next 7 living too close to one. It was not a good time. Ymmv.

 

[helpingout]

Ok. I’m wondering.

Do any of you Bluelighters, look at one’s self, and say, “I’m a person who regularly uses opiates, I’ve had periods of extended abstinence from opiates and I’ve had periods of raging dependency on and addiction to opiates. Yet I was able to recognize my dependency and after some great struggle remove the identity of addict and return to a person who is recovering from having used heroin in a dependent manner, my having stopped using heroin is proof positive of my efforts.

Given that I strive to be ethical,

Is it reasonable to say that I have no business dating anyone’s daughter?

Is your daughter worth more than my company?


Than the company of any addicted individual?
Likely!

My last girlfriend was with me for seven years. I wanted to make her my wife but I had yet to officially divorce. She wanted to be my wife I think.

Then, we lived together for about three and a half years. During that time she watched me overdose, turn blue, and die for three days straight.

This fucked her up so deeply.

I think she largely sees me as a mistake or a thing she wants to forget.

Poppas don’t let your babies grow up to love addicts.

But on the real, is anyone seeking to be in a relationship just supposed to be this fully actualized human being.

Why is that?

 

[justme6263]

Ok. I’m wondering.

Do any of you Bluelighters, look at one’s self, and say, “I’m a person who regularly uses opiates, I’ve had periods of extended abstinence from opiates and I’ve had periods of raging dependency on and addiction to opiates. Yet I was able to recognize my dependency and after some great struggle remove the identity of addict and return to a person who is recovering from having used heroin in a dependent manner, my having stopped using heroin is proof positive of my efforts.

Given that I strive to be ethical,

Is it reasonable to say that I have no business dating anyone’s daughter?

Is your daughter worth more than my company?


Than the company of any addicted individual?
Likely!

My last girlfriend was with me for seven years. I wanted to make her my wife but I had yet to officially divorce. She wanted to be my wife I think.

Then, we lived together for about three and a half years. During that time she watched me overdose, turn blue, and die for three days straight.

This fucked her up so deeply.

I think she largely sees me as a mistake or a thing she wants to forget.

Poppas don’t let your babies grow up to love addicts.

But on the real, is anyone seeking to be in a relationship just supposed to be this fully actualized human being.

Why is that?

I am the son of a deeply addicted (yet outwardly beautiful man) - yet this one man's issues have completely fucked up my Mother's entire life since the age of 16 and she is now 60, my life, my brother's life, my brother's girls' life, the lives of their son and daughter, plus the life of a 34 sister I didn't know I had until she had passed away. I would never, ever want my daughter or son (if I had any) for that matter to marry an active addict regardless of how nice a person they are. I include myself in this as an addict.

Pls know this is no judgement of you, I don't know you, but just how I feel about a situation. Yes it is anecdotal but it is my experience.