ech0s85
Bluelighter
im curious about how having been a hooker affects a girl and relationships afterwards. Im currently dating a girl who was a hooker for about a year and half, and stopped around a year ago. Im not sure what to expect but it seems like there has to be some kind of change if not damage, regarding emotions and sex. This whole situation is really weird for me, because i NEVER thought i would have anything to do with a girl who had done this type of shit. I met her around 8 months ago because she lived with a friend of mine, and i would see her everyday for a couple hours because he would have her run errands and stuff for him and i drove. We became friends during the 4 months of this, and then my friend was arrested and the apartment was in his name so they locked her out and i let her come stay with me. I had no romantic interest in her whatsoever at this point, she was just a cool chick. i would ask her stuff about hooking and she was always very honest about everything. The entire time i knew her i had never seen her with makeup, her hair was always tied up, and she always wore baggy sweatpants and a big jacket. now that i know her better im pretty sure this was a way to keep guys away from her. anyways one night she came out of my room and i didnt even recognize her. she had makeup on and her hair down, which was down to her ass but you couldnt tell at all when it was up, and normal girly clothes. it was like one of those movies where some boring chick turns out to be super hot. so that caught my interest and eventually we started kinda hooking up which is where my questions come in.
(a little over a month after she finally kissed me and things started picking up between us the police got her up on warrants for drug charges so shes been in jail since the middle of december and gets out in march.)
Since she moved in with me she seems to have switched more into normal life mode and be a lot happier. she used to try and act tough and like she didnt care about anything but shes really a sweet girl. When i first started the process of hooking up with her she was really weird about it, ive never had another girl do anything like her. when she started staying with me we slept in the same bed but she stayed as far away as possible, like i would wake up to her curled in a ball shivering rather than share the blanket. i also noticed that she never really slept, whenever i woke up she was either awake or barely half asleep. we would always watch movies at night and when it got really cold one night i told her to scoot over and lay with me, she seemed surprised but kinda cautiously did it. she layed on my chest and seriously like 3 minutes later was out cold snoring away, and when i woke her up after the movie she looked startled when she realized she was sleeping on me and got up real fast. that happened a couple more times and then one night when she woke up instead of running away she just readjusted and went back to sleep. at this point cuddling was the only physical contact we ever had. (later i said something about her always passing out fast and wanting to sleep on/under me and she said its because it makes her feel safe) i had never kissed her or tried to hold her hand or anything. I always went to sleep a few hours before her but from then on everytime she came to bed she would cuddle up and i would wake up in the morning with her sleeping on me. one night i woke up because she was pulling my arm over her and she layed down so that our foreheads were touching so after i few minutes i kissed her.
i was just going to make it quick but she stuck her tongue in my mouth so we made out for a minute and then i went back to sleep.
then the next day she wouldnt come near me and started being a bitch. it was weird so i just left her alone for like a week until she started wanting to sleep on me again. i didnt kiss her again until a month after the first time, but she didnt get weird this time. The thing i thought was strange during all this was that even though she obviously wanted to cuddle she wouldnt unless i was already asleep or i said something or pulled her over. it took probably a month and a half before she started doing it on her own, and she had never kissed me or tried to hold my hand or anything like that and i was starting to wonder what was up. So one night i woke up to her backing up to me so we were spooning and she pulled my arm over her and it ended up so that i was basically holding a boob. i was starting to get frustrated by this point because she wouldnt give me any signals one way or another. she would cuddle but that was it, she didnt mind when i kissed her but never kissed me or touched me at all. so i started feeling her up and when she didnt stop me i started kissing her neck. Normally girls would either stop me or turn and kiss me or grab my dick or SOMETHING, but she just layed there so after a minute i figured she must not be into me but just doesnt want to say anything and i started to feel a little rapisty and stopped. two seconds later she says no keep doing that-but bite me a little. so i did but she still just layed there which was a little weird to me and im not into blue balls so i called it a night after a minute.
i left her alone after that and like a week later she started being a bitch again. She started going off about the most ridiculous shit yelling about how im a jerk. im usually calm but i got pissed off and told her shes a spoiled bitch and get the fuck out of my room. so she stormed off and a couple hours later i was laying in bed watching tv and she came back in, lifted my arm up so she could get under it, kissed me on the cheek and then held my hand with both of hers and just layed on me. i said WTF you were just screaming at me, now you like me all of a sudden? and she tells me "well i didnt really mean that. i was just worried because i liked you but every guy thats been as nice as you are would let me walk all over them and i cant stand that so i had to make sure youre not a bitch before i get too attached." i thought that was funny and i like that shes honest and its good that she knows what she wants i guess. so after that she was like a whole different person, shes super sweet and affectionate and likes to cook for me and stuff like that.
Im not sure why yet, but she wouldnt have sex with me. shell let me put my hand down her pants but wont take them off. It seems like when we hook up she goes until she starts really wanting to fuck, then all of a sudden shell just give me head and be done with it. she claims she "took a vow of abstinence for a year" but the way she says it makes it seem not serious. ive asked her before if hooking ruined sex for her and she said not at all, that its like two different things working and being with someone she likes. i dont really believe that because i just cant see doing that shit not having consequences, and i know she hated it and when i asked how she got started she told me about it and how she started crying when she met the first guy. i know she likes to get rough, most girls like being bitten and having their hair pulled and maybe a hand on their throat, but she likes to get choked and have her hair pulled so hard im afraid its gonna rip out. Also when we were talking i told her how i was starting to feel like a rapist when she wasnt responding to me and she says yeah well i like that too. Im fine with all this most of the time but im just worried that she wont be into sex at all unless its always crazy rough and violent or something. I also kind of feel like something bad mustve happened for her to become a prostitute because she comes from a solid middle class family, parents are together, she had a normal life and went to school and all that. But she said when her parents caught her getting high it caused problems and her mom kicked her out and she hadnt talked to her in a couple years. I guess she moved in with a friend who secretly was fucking the guys that delivered drugs when she had no money, and then they started asking about her when they came over and eventually she started doing it.
honestly this whole thing makes me sick. i hate thinking about it and im not sure how ill handle it down the road. its fucking disgusting and i cant believe she ever did it. I really really love this girl, which i realized when i still wanted to be with her knowing her past. Ive turned down girls because they were strippers before and i didnt want anything serious because of that, just for some perspective. Im really surprised how strong my feelings for her are but im conflicted about it. I thought about it long and hard before deciding i could accept the past and wanted to be with her, but i just hope i can handle it because shes been totally honest and upfront so i want to be fair with her because i know what im signing up for.
anyways that got off topic and way longer than i planned, ive been wanting to talk about this but theres nobody i really want to tell this to in my real life. so does anybody have any experience or advice? it sucks that after so long i finally got something good going and then she went to jail. Ive been thinking about everything constantly and want to be ready for when she comes back in a few weeks.
(a little over a month after she finally kissed me and things started picking up between us the police got her up on warrants for drug charges so shes been in jail since the middle of december and gets out in march.)
Since she moved in with me she seems to have switched more into normal life mode and be a lot happier. she used to try and act tough and like she didnt care about anything but shes really a sweet girl. When i first started the process of hooking up with her she was really weird about it, ive never had another girl do anything like her. when she started staying with me we slept in the same bed but she stayed as far away as possible, like i would wake up to her curled in a ball shivering rather than share the blanket. i also noticed that she never really slept, whenever i woke up she was either awake or barely half asleep. we would always watch movies at night and when it got really cold one night i told her to scoot over and lay with me, she seemed surprised but kinda cautiously did it. she layed on my chest and seriously like 3 minutes later was out cold snoring away, and when i woke her up after the movie she looked startled when she realized she was sleeping on me and got up real fast. that happened a couple more times and then one night when she woke up instead of running away she just readjusted and went back to sleep. at this point cuddling was the only physical contact we ever had. (later i said something about her always passing out fast and wanting to sleep on/under me and she said its because it makes her feel safe) i had never kissed her or tried to hold her hand or anything. I always went to sleep a few hours before her but from then on everytime she came to bed she would cuddle up and i would wake up in the morning with her sleeping on me. one night i woke up because she was pulling my arm over her and she layed down so that our foreheads were touching so after i few minutes i kissed her.
i was just going to make it quick but she stuck her tongue in my mouth so we made out for a minute and then i went back to sleep.
then the next day she wouldnt come near me and started being a bitch. it was weird so i just left her alone for like a week until she started wanting to sleep on me again. i didnt kiss her again until a month after the first time, but she didnt get weird this time. The thing i thought was strange during all this was that even though she obviously wanted to cuddle she wouldnt unless i was already asleep or i said something or pulled her over. it took probably a month and a half before she started doing it on her own, and she had never kissed me or tried to hold my hand or anything like that and i was starting to wonder what was up. So one night i woke up to her backing up to me so we were spooning and she pulled my arm over her and it ended up so that i was basically holding a boob. i was starting to get frustrated by this point because she wouldnt give me any signals one way or another. she would cuddle but that was it, she didnt mind when i kissed her but never kissed me or touched me at all. so i started feeling her up and when she didnt stop me i started kissing her neck. Normally girls would either stop me or turn and kiss me or grab my dick or SOMETHING, but she just layed there so after a minute i figured she must not be into me but just doesnt want to say anything and i started to feel a little rapisty and stopped. two seconds later she says no keep doing that-but bite me a little. so i did but she still just layed there which was a little weird to me and im not into blue balls so i called it a night after a minute.
i left her alone after that and like a week later she started being a bitch again. She started going off about the most ridiculous shit yelling about how im a jerk. im usually calm but i got pissed off and told her shes a spoiled bitch and get the fuck out of my room. so she stormed off and a couple hours later i was laying in bed watching tv and she came back in, lifted my arm up so she could get under it, kissed me on the cheek and then held my hand with both of hers and just layed on me. i said WTF you were just screaming at me, now you like me all of a sudden? and she tells me "well i didnt really mean that. i was just worried because i liked you but every guy thats been as nice as you are would let me walk all over them and i cant stand that so i had to make sure youre not a bitch before i get too attached." i thought that was funny and i like that shes honest and its good that she knows what she wants i guess. so after that she was like a whole different person, shes super sweet and affectionate and likes to cook for me and stuff like that.
Im not sure why yet, but she wouldnt have sex with me. shell let me put my hand down her pants but wont take them off. It seems like when we hook up she goes until she starts really wanting to fuck, then all of a sudden shell just give me head and be done with it. she claims she "took a vow of abstinence for a year" but the way she says it makes it seem not serious. ive asked her before if hooking ruined sex for her and she said not at all, that its like two different things working and being with someone she likes. i dont really believe that because i just cant see doing that shit not having consequences, and i know she hated it and when i asked how she got started she told me about it and how she started crying when she met the first guy. i know she likes to get rough, most girls like being bitten and having their hair pulled and maybe a hand on their throat, but she likes to get choked and have her hair pulled so hard im afraid its gonna rip out. Also when we were talking i told her how i was starting to feel like a rapist when she wasnt responding to me and she says yeah well i like that too. Im fine with all this most of the time but im just worried that she wont be into sex at all unless its always crazy rough and violent or something. I also kind of feel like something bad mustve happened for her to become a prostitute because she comes from a solid middle class family, parents are together, she had a normal life and went to school and all that. But she said when her parents caught her getting high it caused problems and her mom kicked her out and she hadnt talked to her in a couple years. I guess she moved in with a friend who secretly was fucking the guys that delivered drugs when she had no money, and then they started asking about her when they came over and eventually she started doing it.
honestly this whole thing makes me sick. i hate thinking about it and im not sure how ill handle it down the road. its fucking disgusting and i cant believe she ever did it. I really really love this girl, which i realized when i still wanted to be with her knowing her past. Ive turned down girls because they were strippers before and i didnt want anything serious because of that, just for some perspective. Im really surprised how strong my feelings for her are but im conflicted about it. I thought about it long and hard before deciding i could accept the past and wanted to be with her, but i just hope i can handle it because shes been totally honest and upfront so i want to be fair with her because i know what im signing up for.
anyways that got off topic and way longer than i planned, ive been wanting to talk about this but theres nobody i really want to tell this to in my real life. so does anybody have any experience or advice? it sucks that after so long i finally got something good going and then she went to jail. Ive been thinking about everything constantly and want to be ready for when she comes back in a few weeks.
