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dating a murder suspect.

Tude said:
Unless you're tortured, I just don't see how you'd confess to a crime you didn't commit.
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You would be amazed. People do it on a not so infrequent basis.

@ the thread title. If he has been acquitted, he is no longer a suspect in the proper meaning of the term "suspect" i.e. one who is SUSPECTED to be the party who was responsible for the commission of crime. It's mutually exclusive.
 
rangrz said:
You would be amazed. People do it on a not so infrequent basis.

@ the thread title. If he has been acquitted, he is no longer a suspect in the proper meaning of the term "suspect" i.e. one who is SUSPECTED to be the party who was responsible for the commission of crime. It's mutually exclusive.
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no, he's no longer a suspect ( i really meant that he was previously and there is a tiny possibility that i'm not being told the truth and could therefore still be) according to what he has told me but it has caused him PTSD as it was his sister and he has a recent employer google him and then let him go from a temporary job and lost his place to live and is now living in a hostel. it could also be possible he skipped bail and jumped the country though i think that would be harder to do than simply getting off and then leaving. anyway there are loads of things on which we connect, he has a great smile, sexy dutch voice, writes songs (which i thought were quite good), is intelligent and wants to acheive positive things also he has a degree in psychology too (wonder what drew him to that subject? lol). loads of really good things plus he was very open and honest about things (to the best of my current awareness) and this seems to me like a good thing.
 
I don't mean to start an argument or anything, but it is very easy to fall for a aspd's shit. Trust me, I know this from personal experience. I have seen countless people fall to my lies.. people that I have thought were intelligent. They've all fallen under me, and have believed everything I've said, even when caught in lies. There's just something about this personality type that is so believable and lovable. I'm a cruel person in real life, but I know right from wrong. I know of the bad things I've done, and I have a sense of honor. I'm just trying to tell you to watch out, because I know what I'm capable of, and I know what anyone else like me is capable of, and believe me, there are people like me, and I think you described one.
 
Jean-Paul said:
sociopaths are known for being charming.
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This.
Also: either he killed his sister (stay clear) o he somehow thinks it's cool/fun/whatever to claim having killed his sister and not having been convicted (guess what? stay clear).
 
basically i'm aware there is a charm overload going on with him and i've seen it with a previous friend i suspected of sociopathy who i quite liked (and was cool even though there were some ridiculous lies told over the years) but the existence of this case makes me question what information i have available and its reliability

the impression i got was not that he thought it was a cool thing to mention, although maybe he does internally but is making the whole thing seem about upfront honesty and at the same time altering what really happened while retaining a big thread of truth to increase believability. so many different possibilities...

my friend from years back would always tell really plausible yet quite bad lies in order to get out of something srious that came about through irresponsible behaviour. she didn't care about debts or have worries that were too deep but she was good fun and had the best sense of humour. her lie telling skills were hilarious and at the same time preposterous but quite convincing. i take everyone as i find them and when i feel the sociopathic edge combined with a real crime of serious magnitude its far more worrying that irresponsibility and serious lies/drug abuse

i'm treading carefully and not getting in to deep. its almost like he can read EXACTLY what i want to hear and that for me is an alarm bell as my friend from years back was like that too though she was never DIRECTLY LINKED to something anywhere near this serious
 
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rangrz said:
Excellent use of the False dilemma fallacy bro. Either P or Q. But maybe it's really R...
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Well, the only R I can think about here is something like 'it was not murder, he is not (completely) responsible for his sister's death (but could have contributed, i.e. being negligent or reckless in something) but he still feels like he killed his sister'. Otherwise I cannot see how he could be not lying AND not a killer.
 
After my BF died, I read his police report and the cop who put the report together got several things wrong. He wrote stuff that I had said and got it wrong, and when I called his friends about some things, he got that stuff wrong too.

It's possible they got it wrong about Facebook, but it would concern me, because a lot of people have been caught saying stupid shit on FB. I'd be concerned, because who admits to killing their sister? It's your sister, so WTF?

This is just me, but I'd pass. If it were me sitting across from him listening to it, I'd compare myself and my accomplishments to his, and I just think I'd pass on the fact that I don't want to invite his issues onto me, and you have already said he has admitted to issue. There is just too many fish in the sea to bother with someone who has that kind of background. I'm assuming he told you right away, because some other girl Google'd him and found it out the hard way. I'd also be too paranoid that my life would be in danger if we got into a bad argument or something like that.
 
Lysis said:
, but it would concern me, because a lot of people have been caught saying stupid shit on FB.

I'd also be too paranoid that my life would be in danger if we got into a bad argument or something like that.
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that echo's my sentiment entirely
 
kace said:
I was about to reply with this!! So, so true.

Also, watch our for crocodile tears and pity-seeking behaviour..

Be careful!
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i think i've seen some already if i'm honest. my friend at uni (sociopath) was always on the hunt for endless sypathy for pain, emotional trauma, etc.
 
pofacedhoe said:
i think i've seen some already if i'm honest. my friend at uni (sociopath) was always on the hunt for endless sypathy for pain, emotional trauma, etc.
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Damn, what other characteristics did your friend show? I'm convinced that my ex is a sociopath.. he was a brilliant liar, very manipulative, very impulsive and generally didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. The best thing to do is avoid them and not get involved with their games.

I'm reading this interesting book at the moment called "The sociopath next door".. it's based on the statistic that approximately 1 in 25 ordinary americans secretly has no conscience. The book gives you hints on how to look out for them and protect yourself, telling people the red flag signs for being a sociopath.
 
My bf is a convicted murderer.
Not everyone who has committed a murder is a sociopath, sometimes a situation gets out of hand, and all it takes is one really stupid mistake to pull a trigger.
Be careful though.
 
kace said:
Damn, what other characteristics did your friend show? I'm convinced that my ex is a sociopath.. he was a brilliant liar, very manipulative, very impulsive and generally didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. The best thing to do is avoid them and not get involved with their games.

I'm reading this interesting book at the moment called "The sociopath next door".. it's based on the statistic that approximately 1 in 25 ordinary americans secretly has no conscience. The book gives you hints on how to look out for them and protect yourself, telling people the red flag signs for being a sociopath.
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she would use a lie like her neice dying (no niece existed) to justify a missing assignment when it wasn't even that necessary. she would show her boob to men in clubs to get a free drink/have sex with people for bizarre reasons. she would have unprotected sex without birth control and then not care one way or the other if she was pregnant and seemed to enjoy the excitement of the gamble. she was hugely careless and hilariously charming and cheeky. the biggest thing was when she said she had two emotions, excitement and boredom. i was like hmmm okay. i dont think she is bad, just careless and on the milder end of the spectrum but still shes unpredictable and lies a lot and was clever and devious and manipulative and very impulsive
 
Josair said:
Well, the only R I can think about here is something like 'it was not murder, he is not (completely) responsible for his sister's death (but could have contributed, i.e. being negligent or reckless in something) but he still feels like he killed his sister'. Otherwise I cannot see how he could be not lying AND not a killer.
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If you are so totally unfamiliar with the variety of reasons which cause people to falsely confess to crimes, I do not have the time to waste to hammer a 3 inch round peg into that .5 inch square hole in your thick, hard, dense cranium.

Also: Being negligent or reckless is unlikely to result in danger to the OP, enjoy your fallacious thinking.

Actually, that goes for the entire thread.
Lysis: Tell me again how someone acquitted, on the grounds of physical evidence, of murder is any more likely to kill you in an argument than an arbitrary random person? Perhaps some stats to show your arguments soundness would be cool.
 
He may be charming but you barely know him and you already have to question whether or not this will be a good idea.... Yeah bad idea... Don't bother with him. There will be more guys and ones with less baggage.
 
i am going to let it fizzle out as i was meant to see him mon and i just cancelled as i was working all day and there has been no reply
 
Make sure you meet his family and (long standing) friends before you make a decision. If you can't do this, don't proceed. I know this from experience. He can re-invent himself and be anyone he wants to be, especially if he's overseas, but not so much if he has family & friends to vouch for him. Ask when these family/friends are coming to visit & ask to meet them, if this isn't an option - be suspicious.
 
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