Daredevil

[RareForm]

I'm not really satisfied with the end result, this kind of just "came out". and i'm too tired to revise it at the moment.

Diminishing an imperceptible loss
Subtracting from your empty talk
Walk right around you to feel it reduce
And your decline is implied in symbols
Easily conveyed by your lack of reserve
And if i'm right I'll wonder what it's like
With the intent to dream envious
Wake me up to see me cold as ice
I'll rise in a lesser tone
The impact would suggest protective intervention
Probably because the sun is always bright
And if I'm right I'll never try to dream
Vigilant against connoting less personal animus
But whatever the cost I'll suffer the loss
And if the indifference is refused
I'll eradicate this existence, infix schematics

 

[DeirdreScott]

"And if I'm right I'll never try to dream"

I feel like I wrote these words...
Get out of my head...

 

[Negative]

again, I ask, why on EARTH do you feel this needs revised?

 

[cherub]

I can see why you would want to revise it but seriously don't

in it's raw purity of it all it says so much as it is. changing would only alter the moment it came out... Love it

makes me want to hug you lil bro.

 

[Prolapstriumph]

I loves it , go easy on the revision bro... this is indeed a tasty piece o' pie!