Dancing Demons

[cherub]

My heart is numb
But the dance lives on with
To much pain and emotions
That seem to surrounding me
It is my tower of protection
I find myself to busy to even stop and
think of the pain.
But even with the dance that goes on
I still let the walls surround my soul
You think I am moving on
but when I stop
I realize I am right back
In the same place
Nothing has changed
Only the music stopped
The look of me on the outside has changed,
but inside if anything
It might be getting worse.
I dont let them know
I dont even let you know
Tears still come
The pain is still there.
Sitting in the corner
watching them dance
The tender Hands that hold me
The words that should touch my heart
Don't seem to be enough to let the walls down
I am lost in a new world
With no way to find my way back
I wanted to believe you
When you said things were gona be alright
But lately I dont.
I tried to move pass the demons
I tried to keep caring,
but slowly, I realize,
maybe I am not ready for this
Maybe the safety of these walls are
the only way I can keep going.
And I continue to dance with the demons
I am afraid love is not for me
I gave it a shot, and I am not ready
again, maybe I never will be
Demons rather play then let go.
I guess I would rather dance with the demons
in pain with your memory
then to let the walls down
and let him in.
So I will go back
to the walls of protection
leaving me alone with the
music and the demons
dancing in the corner
and me nothing to do but watch.

 

[curie]

strange how well this fits my situation as well. thanks for putting this out there for me to relate to, its always a little comforting knowing theres someone else in the confusing, hallow, numb, overwhelming little vertigo we find ourselves in, and also to know that we're always protected behind our walls, right? from everyone but ourselves anyway.