It's weird though. Like I never hurt or never worry..
I just like to geek sometimes. I always feel slow and unmotivated because of my meds or geeking that say or I wake up happy happy on the highest cloud without the need for drugs.. Being on that cloud is amazing. So positive yet a dangerous me is revealed. Mania is my life's tragedy. I don't think about anyone or care about those around me. I begin to shake and feel an adrenaline rush like feeling through out my body. My mind races and it's like there's a voice telling me to raise Hell who cares what happens anymore. I have knocked on Death's door but quickly got away because it's like I can handle too many chemicals at once as my body literally has not failed me..
I only did these things because I am not right in the head... I black out and do crazy shit sometimes and don't even remember. Anyways it all started in the 7 th grade ah ages ago. I had tried to off myself because I was tired of living blah. I was quite odd. I sense the energy's that are in a room or place. I can feel the sorrow one carried.. I absorbed it like a miserable sponge.
I knew things kids shouldn't know. I had such... Dark thoughts and I could see a world of the hatred. Then came a game of strategy and luck that I remain active in is a game of perception and deception. The strongest has more force, but the clever one avoids being detected and remains off the grid. He is such a crazy liar... You wanna talk about the law get ready to learn some tricks and little secrets that will protect me for the time being. I was already well into the fad of swallowing pain killers to go down. I did this shit until 9th grade when I lost over 35 pounds just from those few years... I had to change the game. So I got Clean it was easier back then...
9th grade started smoking meth, heroin, and marijuana. Fell in love with heroin and weed but pushed water aside as I used to sleep quite often before.. Did this shit until now off and on.. That was 4 years ago... Got caught by my family . Withdrew. Faked being cured. Twisted my parents around my finger to act as I command. They are blind. I can perceive and deceive my mom the easiest she's weak. My dad takes some work but all I gotta do is think for a few minutes to myself and blab about positive bullshit to make him piss off and back off my case.. They did whatever I asked and still do.
Heroin doesn't do shit for me I've done it several ways that didn't help. I shot 2 bags and smoked 2 by myself the other day and smoked 3 bags today.... It doesn't do nothing anymore but make me warm that's it. It was time to step up. I went to the homies and tweeked the bubble. I had smoked meth before by off foil... I had never hit the bubble but of course I did it naturally... I guess I'm just good at the game and using drugs. Congrats mom and dad. I'm so clean but I won't take a drug test. Oh and I'm on a diet don't mind me turning into bones and pale flesh. I looked somewhat epic to myself but others were... Stricken by my appearance. My eyes had dark bags and still do, they droop, and they zone out sometimes ha. I was as thin as ever. Skinny jeans were all that fit me because I am tall I just weigh to much less.. 5ft 11 at 133 pounds ha. I weigh 140 now. Still use often smoke pot everyday.
I work 40-50 hour weeks so I am always busy... In spare time I tweek myself to the blurred vision, euphoric misery, hyperfocus, uppity up, dry mouthed, bug eyed, way I know how. I love my bubble it's got two bubbles like wtff cause it broke but I gotta guy who just blew another bubble with a torch. And another one? It's weird yes but it helps gather residue and gives me extra clouds because the long stem on it is long it crystalizes fast on it and of course I move that bubble quick do a burn out basically till my lungs are full hold it for a sec and chill. Repeat 6-7 times with my homie.. Geek out, chill, go down with heroin, go to work, smoke weed, and lay down to "sleep" but I can't sleep because I'm to high haahaha. Just geek til 2-3am every time when I do. Bam I gotta come down from this crap for work and school.. Easy stuff I just pop my Seroquel 300 for my disorder and 20 minutes later am gone. Wake up at 8:50 and go to school late... It's college though so.... And of course my heroin addiction. I just get it to feel warm and slow my heart down. Other then that it's worthless to this junky. I smoke 3 times a day on good days and at least once for sure. I did my normal doses and was given a 30 of some Crystals from the homie for 10 because he owed me a geeking session. I end up smoking it all by myself pretty much and son of a bitch I am uppity up. My ears are ringing, my jaw hurts from grinding, my eyes are blurred, I got nickel pupils. And I am still awake barely day 2 of geeking during the day and sleeping at 2-3 am each day... It's 11:37 and I feel amazing still. Strong drink for sure. I lent my car to my friend while I smoked weed.
It's weird though. Like I never hurt or never worry..
I just like to geek sometimes. I always feel slow and unmotivated because of my meds or geeking that say or I wake up happy happy on the highest cloud without the need for drugs.. Being on that cloud is amazing. So positive yet a dangerous me is revealed. Mania is my life's tragedy. I don't think about anyone or care about those around me. I begin to shake and feel an adrenaline rush like feeling through out my body. My mind races and it's like there's a voice telling me to raise Hell who cares what happens anymore. I have knocked on Death's door but quickly got away because it's like I can handle too many chemicals at once as my body literally has not failed me..
I only did these things because I am not right in the head... I black out and do crazy shit sometimes and don't even remember. Anyways it all started in the 7 th grade ah ages ago. I had tried to off myself because I was tired of living blah. I was quite odd. I sense the energy's that are in a room or place. I can feel the sorrow one carried.. I absorbed it like a miserable sponge.
I knew things kids shouldn't know. I had such... Dark thoughts and I could see a world of the hatred. Then came a game of strategy and luck that I remain active in is a game of perception and deception. The strongest has more force, but the clever one avoids being detected and remains off the grid. He is such a crazy liar... You wanna talk about the law get ready to learn some tricks and little secrets that will protect me for the time being. I was already well into the fad of swallowing pain killers to go down. I did this shit until 9th grade when I lost over 35 pounds just from those few years... I had to change the game. So I got Clean it was easier back then...
9th grade started smoking meth, heroin, and marijuana. Fell in love with heroin and weed but pushed water aside as I used to sleep quite often before.. Did this shit until now off and on.. That was 4 years ago... Got caught by my family . Withdrew. Faked being cured. Twisted my parents around my finger to act as I command. They are blind. I can perceive and deceive my mom the easiest she's weak. My dad takes some work but all I gotta do is think for a few minutes to myself and blab about positive bullshit to make him piss off and back off my case.. They did whatever I asked and still do.
Heroin doesn't do shit for me I've done it several ways that didn't help. I shot 2 bags and smoked 2 by myself the other day and smoked 3 bags today.... It doesn't do nothing anymore but make me warm that's it. It was time to step up. I went to the homies and tweeked the bubble. I had smoked meth before by off foil... I had never hit the bubble but of course I did it naturally... I guess I'm just good at the game and using drugs. Congrats mom and dad. I'm so clean but I won't take a drug test. Oh and I'm on a diet don't mind me turning into bones and pale flesh. I looked somewhat epic to myself but others were... Stricken by my appearance. My eyes had dark bags and still do, they droop, and they zone out sometimes ha. I was as thin as ever. Skinny jeans were all that fit me because I am tall I just weigh to much less.. 5ft 11 at 133 pounds ha. I weigh 140 now. Still use often smoke pot everyday.
I work 40-50 hour weeks so I am always busy... In spare time I tweek myself to the blurred vision, euphoric misery, hyperfocus, uppity up, dry mouthed, bug eyed, way I know how. I love my bubble it's got two bubbles like wtff cause it broke but I gotta guy who just blew another bubble with a torch. And another one? It's weird yes but it helps gather residue and gives me extra clouds because the long stem on it is long it crystalizes fast on it and of course I move that bubble quick do a burn out basically till my lungs are full hold it for a sec and chill. Repeat 6-7 times with my homie.. Geek out, chill, go down with heroin, go to work, smoke weed, and lay down to "sleep" but I can't sleep because I'm to high haahaha. Just geek til 2-3am every time when I do. Bam I gotta come down from this crap for work and school.. Easy stuff I just pop my Seroquel 300 for my disorder and 20 minutes later am gone. Wake up at 8:50 and go to school late... It's college though so.... And of course my heroin addiction. I just get it to feel warm and slow my heart down. Other then that it's worthless to this junky. I smoke 3 times a day on good days and at least once for sure. I did my normal doses and was given a 30 of some Crystals from the homie for 10 because he owed me a geeking session. I end up smoking it all by myself pretty much and son of a bitch I am uppity up. My ears are ringing, my jaw hurts from grinding, my eyes are blurred, I got nickel pupils. And I am still awake barely day 2 of geeking during the day and sleeping at 2-3 am each day... It's 11:37 and I feel amazing still. Strong drink for sure. I lent my car to my friend while I smoked weed. Freaked out all geeked cause he took forever and made me late. But I was high so I didn't care . With an old contact. I waited 25 min because he was supposed to go get cigs and be back.. I found it parked behind the hotel I was at. I knocked on the closest door to it and was a little annoyed when my homie opened he door.. Prick made me 45 min late to work smh. I need the money. I went to work today gone just moving to fast for anyone. Got shit done felt good. Made my dad's ego jizz when I told him that I am changed, that I can control it, the drugs are gone, I have goals, etc. Haha so he gave me some weed. I have a card but anyhow he holds onto my stash so I have it a bit. I get like a gram on Saturday every week.. I only smoke on weekends I guess. Fuck it free bud though. He only gave me a bowl tonight was Pissed. I just did it how I find better with a meth bubble. Again my bubble has two bubbles ones smaller but is designed to hold bud to vape. Not hard to do pref a torch. Anyways I load small pieces at a time to conserve.. I wasn't that hard for weed I had the high I needed.. I smoked the residue with my last piece... Oh well it helped.. Anyways I load it, and then start tweaking like I know how. Love my long bubble. Now I wait til that time and rest. For now I geek. Night and don't scare me I'm paranoid... Haha this is random but a soda attacked me today when I was driving.. I turned to soon and it flew all over me.. I didn't give a Damn tho was and am high ha. I thought he puked tho was about to make him gtfo my car because I don't play that shit. If you chew you don't get a ride from me nasty spitting... I am gonna clean my room
but... It's getting bad. I blow 50-70 easily every day buying drugs.. so it's messing me up... I'm always broke yet I always work lol.... I just wanna use the drugs not let them use me.. Tips/advice. I only smoke Meth 3-4 times a week and H everyday... Didn't need Suboxone the first time so.... Maybe meth will cruise me by and help me avoid withdrawal from Heroin...
drugs like heroin and meth in my experience are always going to use you.
