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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

cutters - you are not alone. (merged)

So do you think once I start wearing sleeveless shirts people will ask?
Oh well, I suppose like I said I have spent too long feeling ashamed.
 
^^
Most people won't ask, you'll get the odd tactless/genuinly ignorant person who will but most people won't mention it and you'll get used to the ones who do.
 
^ I disagree Heavens. I work with a lot of young adults and just about every day someone asks me about my scars. Hell, several old friends (who don't know) have asked about my scars after random run-ins. I guess it may depend upon your environment but most people I find don't think about things like that before they ask.
 
^^
Well if that's been your experience I can hardly argue with it but I don't get any negative attention whatsoever.
 
so my one friend has asked me before,

do you cut yourself?

i and i said no... why would you ask that?

and he said "i ask everyone that"

and i said "why?"

and he said "i just wouldnt want to be friends with anyone that did."


... mind you ive known this guy for a year... we talk everyday, but he's extremely shallow and closeminded and unintelligent and image/fashion-obsessed.

well i think i'll be the only choosing who not to be friends with this time ;)
 
^^^ I cut myself once, really deep, and this guy that I really cared about just fucking up and left. Said he couldn't handle anyone with issues like that.
How fucking suck-ass is that?
He broke my heart. I'm still not over him.
 
thats what this guy said. he's all "i just dont want to be friends with someone that has issues like that, that deal with stress like that. its just so stupid"
 
It's pretty cold, but I wouldn't say stupid. Any one who's ever been in a co dependant relationship/friendship with someone with emotional problems is probably going to be wary of going back there.
 
^ That's a good point. I was talking to my friend the other day and I decided that I could *never* be with someone as self-desctructive as myself, so I shouldn't blame them for not wanting to be with me. Harsh, but true.
 
It's true that stuff like this makes it hard for people to deal with you.
Ironically enough, for me, people who hang on and try to help you all the time do much more harm anyway.
most of the people i surround myself with now know about it, they don't bring it up but know how and when to be there for you.
the dude i was with (who sucked) would always do stuff like bring it up, point it out, take my razors, blah blah...
i'm just rambling now, but yeah. I've been at it for 4 years now and just had my latest "relapse." i'm supposed to go to school in a week, hopefully moving and all will help me start over. it's a pretty stressful way to lead a life.
 
Just because someone cuts doesn't mean they have emotional problems, though. It's just a different way of dealing with pain. I've mostly stopped cutting now (the most I've done this past year is burn myself with the hot metal of a lighter, doesn't leave much of a scar but the pain is enough to make me feel better- I've only done this maybe 3-5 times in total), and I don't think I have more emotional issues than the average person. Yes, I had a low self-esteem as a teenager, and sometimes I get relapses into thinking that I'm the most useless person in the world... But it would be sucky if someone judged me to be an emotionally unhealthy person just because I have a shitload of scars on my arm (because that's all they are- scars, most of them over 3 years old)
 
I would also be annoyed if someone judged me for my past actions. I haven't cut in over 5 years, most of scars are at least 7 years old. I'm a different person to who I was all those years ago.
 
i am shocked by this thread i had no idea that some of best looking and seemingly confident well adjusted people have these issues

i have never cut my self but i have indulged in plenty of self destructive behavior

reading some of your stories has made me aware of the fact that i have issues i just choose to harm myself in different ways
in ways that have ulrimetly left far more damage than cutting would

i wonder if i would have indulged in this type of behavior that i might have been better off

thats a thought for me to ponder as i drift off to sleep
 
^ Different strokes, different folks, you know? I think my cutting has helped me cut back from indulging in other outlets (drugs, sexual promescuity and alcohol), but it has also made me less afraid of suicide. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think this happens with every or even most people that cut... but ever since I started cutting suicide seemed easier to obtain that I previously thought. Plus, sometimes when I cut I'm in such a dark place that it's real easy to switch over to the other side of the wrist... just my .02c.
 
i agree my self desructive behavior is def a slow suicide i have recognized this and am no longer doing things that i know are self destructive
 
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I used to be a cutter and all i can say is think of the scars. Although life may not seem wortwile at the moment, you WILL pick yourself out of that hole at some point, it just about saying bollocks to world, I'm gunna do what i want to (whether it be work,college whatever) and don't give up till you are. EVERY1 has this power within them.

I haven't cut for a good few years and i can now deal with problems in other ways, but the scars remain and having to explain to people that you did it to yourself when you've now moved on to a completely different mindset is really awkward.

I know it's hard to imagine, but there is a future where you can become what you want, and the scars will quickly become a horrific reminder of that state of mind. DONT DO IT.
 
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