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Curiosity

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asupersadcat

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 25, 2016
Messages
10
Location
Rochester
It killed the cat they say.

I have never used a single drug in my life, but i find the community fascinating. >(O_O)<

(Edit) this got way more views than i expected considering I posted it on the recommendation of Bluelights guidelines. I guess I should explain more.

In particular, I am interested in how MDMA works and feels, and how it interacts with depression.
 
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Welcome!

I may be able to provide you with some insight on the 2. I use MDMA and have also been diagnosed with clinical depression.

I suffered from depression before I ever tried MDMA. My first use (as is common) was AMAZING. It was the best feeling in the world. All of my negative thoughts disappeared (for about 6 hours anyway) .. Every part of my body was on sensory overload. The physical fatigue I had from my depression melted away like a slice of butter on a stack of flapjacks... I was flying high with an even higher outlook on life. Not a care in the world. I couldn't even fathom the thought of being sad or hopeless..

Then came the comedown...

The first few times the transition was smooth.. The euphoria slowly faded away and reality made it's way back in my mind. It took about 24 hours for me to be back to my "old self".. Depression and all..

After having experienced such euphoria after spending so many years feeling like I was drowning actually made dealing with my depression harder. I wanted that feeling back..

I was on edge much more than I had been before taking MDMA.. So naturally, I went in search of more.. For the next few months I was rolling every chance I got.. And with every roll the come down got a little harder..

I eventually ended up pregnant and had to stop taking MDMA, but my depression had gotten so bad that I was put on SSRIs to help relieve the stress I was under trying to cope with it without the MDMA.

After I had my son I waited a few months before slowly weaning myself off the SSRIs so I could take MDMA again..

While the pills had helped me get through my pregnancy, they didn't keep me from wanting to feel the feeling the other drug had given me.. Which was no comparison..

My first dose of MDMA after being off of my meds for 2 months was disappointing.. It wasn't anything like what I had experienced before. I felt good.. But just good.. Not amazing like I had before..

Here I am today.. I have rolled 4 times since, taking 3 months off in between each roll and I've struggled to get back that amazing feeling... I still suffer from depression, although it's nowhere near as bad as it was before.. I'm not taking anything as of now..
 
I should also mention that I abused MDMA in the beginning. I wasn't educated on the drug as I am today. IMO I think it can definitely be useful in treating depression in much smaller doses than what I was taking, and if taken only when symptoms of extreme depression are present. Not something that should be used daily..
 
interesting... what if you only took a threshold dose? See, i have no real interest (not that i would even be able to find it in my region) in taking a large dose, im looking to understand what small doses would do in someone with depression.

I realize that sounds kind of odd, but anti depressants dont do much for me. Or rather, they do quite a bit, but it is absolutely nothing compared to how unhappy I am.
 
It might work, it it's hard to say how small of a dose one would need to take just to experience slight effects from it.. There are several variable factors.. The purity of the MDMA being a major one.. I think one would need to test it in order to determine their tolerance and adjust the dosage from there to get the desired effect.. Much like they do with antidepressants.. Only with antidepressants you get the exact same purity of the drug from the exact same brand every time, so the dosage would be exactly the same every time once you found out which amount works for you, at least until your tolerance changes.. That's probably why antidepressants stop working for some people...
 
thank you for your response ^_^ I will certainly have to do more research. I realize it is an odd question to be asking, because this forum is pretty "recreational" and I am not wanting to go that far. But you have raised some interesting ideas... I am unsure how i would test them :/
 
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