-cry-

[cLinTz CaMrY 0wnZ Jo0]

fuck it-
peoples reaction
quiet discontent
followed by my light chuckle
light chuckle after light chuckle
doesn’t sound quite right
after 3 times
wake and bake
that guy just said “chowda”
light chuckle to myself
coca-cola in a can
FANtastic
i forgot my headphones
dammit
i will get ‘em after class
but it’s cold out
pitcher in the rain
fills up in the spring
free-formed writing
flows like flood water
out of control
to understand my verse....
just talk to me.
---------------------------
*oh my god
my mind recoils in horror
at its own creations
contemplating the structure of life
happiness....
too much so-dieing inside
hopeless for no reason
another wave of melancholy sweeps
me like leaves in a stiff breeze
drawing blanks...cards
a fucking stacked deck
my soul personified
goes thud
thud like the sound of a car door
oppressively slamming in a fight
between newlyweds
recoil
shocked and confused to what my life is
and means
my own creation
i must abort it
-------------------------
-this argument is systematically repeated in 3d space over and over again
murky depths unexplored
i wish i could un-think
the thoughts that scare me
that make me cry
only inwardly i weep
look into my eyes
and you will see endless fields
of fuck this life
fuck you, and myself too
i can’t explain it, if i could
oh god....no fucking reason
i feel alone
for no reason
i feel worthless for no reason
bad vibes, bad vibes
invisible waves of self-loathing
drown me as the tide comes in
this thought
is through