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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Craving!

X

xK-la

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 24, 2009
Messages
55
Location
West Sydney
I'm trying to stay clean from Meth, I am 4 weeks clean to this day and I will be seeing my drug and alcohol counselor on Tuesday and I'm just going through some really bad cravings.

My body is hot, its constantly on my mind, I'm edgy, and irritable, I really need some help to get through it, I have never wanted it so badly before!
 
NotQuiteAnonymous

No I don't have a sponsor, my boyfriend use to be able to talk to me and make me feel better but he is off getting clean in a rehab facility himself.

Me, I am just doing it at home, by myself, my family knows nothing of the Meth addiction, they have their suspicions but choose to ignore it and I deny anything anyway. Plus I think they think it is just Gas now, because I OD'd 4 weeks ago and when I was in and out of it I told them I used Gas, as well as Pills.

---
ocean

I feel a little bit better today, still really moody, not craving it as much, its weird how my cravings lasted hours yesterday and have come back today. Previously when I have taken breaks it'd last at least half an hour and wouldn't return again for awhile, I guess because this time is for good, my brain and body want it more?

Especially since the last time I used drugs, I didn't use Meth itself, I used Gas, but seeing as they are in the same family I assumed that is why I am getting the cravings again?
 
Yes oliphill was right. Sorry I wasn't very clear on that, that was my own fault.

oliphill

My ex boyfriend could be someone I could talk to... But he never got as addicted to it as I have done, my current boyfriend is refusing to talk to me because he feels ashamed and thats OK, thats another problem that I don't feel needs to be discussed here but anyway.

Other than my ex, none of my other friends have done Meth, my other friends do other drugs that aren't as hard so I am kind of alone, or so I feel...
 
^Well, you aren't alone here. There are many many people in TDS who can relate <3
Why do you think you are craving? What are your triggers?
My advice would be to identify those and eliminate them from your life........
If it is things such as stress or problems with your bf- work on ways to improve them <3
No matter what, you have people here on BL who- though we are all over the world and talking online- you can lean on us and can relate in one way or another.

Hope today is a better day!
 
Thanks ocean, that means a lot to me! <3

I know for a fact that around the 3rd and 4th week I crave the most but I have a lot of triggers, luckily a few of them are outside my house in the city where I have spent a lot of nights wandering the streets high with my ex boyfriend and current boyfriend.
But sadly, I have triggers at home, in my bedroom, in my bathroom, even in my loungeroom, where I have used. Sadly I can't really escape these places...

Also I am constantly stressed, I still live with my parents, and my father and I don't have a very good relationship and we constantly fight which adds fuel to my stress level and sometimes triggers me to crave.
The only problem me and my boyfriend have at the moment is that he refuses to talk to me and that I constantly worry about his well being.

I feel like I cannot really work on those problems but as they are out of my control.

---

I would just like to add that although it is early days, I am not craving too much, I just have a lot of anxiety about what is in my room, I still cannot find the strength to completely rid myself of my pipe and even some left over stuff.

I don't know if I am ready to let go of it all, I know that sounds bad and I am trying to get rid of it, but I just think of the money I'd waste if I threw it out and I feel like it could send me over the edge, it's like a crutch for me, keeps me sane knowing its there rather than me going over the edge knowing its not... If that makes sense.

How are you all doing today?
 
I've always had this weird fascination with hard drugs.
I did weeks of research before trying a new drug and because I was into the rave scene, XTC didn't do it for me COMPLETELY.
My then best friend but now boyfriend had been raving for years before I met him and he talked about Meth all the time, he didn't glorify it for me, he told me the worse of it and in a weird way I wanted to experience everything with him.
We went and got stuff together but we got ripped off and it kind of put him off it for awhile.
Then one day my then boyfriend told me about how he tried it and hated it, then a few weeks later he tried it again and LOVED it, and one night under normal circumstances we went and did something normal and it was freezing cold and he was saying how he wanted to get some to warm up and I had the money at the time and I was like "what the hell? Why not?"

I can't really say there was an emotional problem at the time as my memory is quite bad but I think its safe to say that there is some subconscious reason as to why I used it in the first place.
 
"I have never wanted it so badly before!"


Then you have never been so close to ending the nightmare. Stick it out kid. Think of all the money and pain you'll save if you go through the worst now.
 
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