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Craving thread – v. Hold On

I want to be honest. Like I said, I quit opioid replacement therapy 5 years ago and everything else before that. Last night I IVed oxycodone. I would have wanted heroin or morphine but they were not available. I did it out of being so frustrated with my depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety and was curious on how it would feel like to be on opiates after all this time. I never liked oxy in the past and only did it if nothing else was available while being dope sick. I did not like it last night either. Besides I got almost no effect although I took a ridiculous dose (100mg, starting with 20 to be safe) for someone who is supposed to be without any tolerance. Now I feel like shit, physically and mentally.
 
don't give up mate.
You slipped up - No worries.
I slipped up 20890438938329842398430983209 times but I still havent given up hope.
I have pretty much detoxed off heroin (IV), and I had 2 little relapses but it only set me back a day.
I am currently using Kratom to help and it's working pretty well. I am trying to not get addicted to the Kratom though.
I will be stopping that here soon. I am just afraid because I took my last dose of xanax last night so I know I will be going thru
benzo WD here soon, those SUCK.

Much love to you man.
You got this, don't give up!
 
Thank you for your kind words, w0w0mg! I needed them. This is not my first time of fucking up, of course. I succeeded to live without opiates for so long only because of my children. I would be dead without them. My both children woke up last night because the other one had to go to toilet and the other one had a nightmare. They saw me with bloody needles on the table. I don't know did they pay attention to it or not or should I bring it up with them. I've also been prescribed Xanax since 2007(?) and I still take them, so I'd say I have some experience of benzo withdrawals too. Much love and courage to you too!
 
Im craving a cigarette like it was the best thing in the world. But when I think about smoking a cig with no nicotine in it laughably insane.
 
Dealing with Cravings

What is your relationship with your cravings for drug use/other addictive behaviors? When you try to fight them, what has happened?
 
I tend to get cravings every once and awhile. I like to go out in my garden and do some weeding or watering because it takes my mind off what I am thinking about.

For me cravings do not last long. They tend to be incredibly strong if I keep feeding into them. I can be around people using without the desire to use. Usually my cravings come at the weirdest times.
NSFW for triggering content:
NSFW:
Sometimes it will be the taste of alcohol, or cocaine in the back of my throat. Sometimes I just crave seeing a rig in my arm. It makes me feel crazy for a while when I get the needle thing because I never want to do that again.


One word of advice I can give people just starting out is; Get a hobby that you can pick up and put down any time of the day. It will help you to divert your attention.
 
I get them as well too. Sometimes it's really random like I'll have a dream about drinking beer, smoking cannabis/hash, or taking a percocet. I don't give into them, and I focus on other things instead.

I merged this thread into the mega-thread about cravings. There's some great advice and information in that thread.
 
After four years cravings getting worse?

Hey everyone. Longtime lurker around here. I have been sober for five years off of opiates. Four years off of suboxone. I have been really struggling these past few months with cravings. They get so bad. They feel horrible and always come at me in the morning. I thought when I started this journey this would be way better after four years. Only thing I can think of is that addiction gets progressively worse even when you don't use? I don't know. That's what they told me at aa and rehab. Especially if I didn't work the steps. I don't know what to do but just hang on.
 
I suggest to hit up those meetings my friend. It does work!
I get crazy cravings in the morning myself, but I just try to divert my attention elsewhere.
I call my Sponsor, or anyone in AA/NA. It helps to just get it off your chest and get some advice.
It comes and goes, no matter how long you've been sober. Keep yourself busy, try to enjoy a nice cup of coffee.
Think about how far you've gotten, it's not worth throwing it all away. Remember those nasty withdrawals.
Remember how bad your addiction had a grip on you. It was not fun. Just take it one day at a time.
Much love, I'm here for you!
 
You have to employ a strategy that centers around the time cravings happen.

Try to indulge in something not drug related. When you have a craving, go for a walk outside. Play a video game. Put on a favorite TV show, movie, or call a good friend (who is not a drug user).

It's also to address what's missing in your life, so you can have a more fulfilling experience and potentially less cravings.

Finally, congrats on your 4 years! :)
 
Thanks guys for your responses. I have been going to a few meetings. They call me the great white knuckler because I do not do the steps or anything. It is ok. Hard for me to get into. Playing video games seems to help but I want to cure this addiction or kill it and feel good again. I should have said I had a few drinks in December. But I stopped at a few. Opiates were my drug of choice not alcohol. I really have nothing in passionate about. I my job stresses me out constantly. I have no companion. I live at home. But hey at least I'm sober. I started playing golf that helps. It just sucks to think I have to dea with this mess the rest of my life.
 
Addiction is a chronic disease, so you are going to have it for life. That's not to say you'll always have cravings though. Those can go away.

You definitely need to find what you're passionate about. Having things you're passionate about helps a lot.

Have you thought about therapy?

Golf and other forms of exercise are great! Definitely stick with it! %)
 
Thanks again for the response. Yes I have my first session this week. He is an addiction specialist and has written books on the subject. Hopefully he will help. Wish I could just put this behind me but after four years in starting to see it is chronic. I didn't even do drugs for that long but I guess it's just how my brain works.
 
deuce85 said:
Thanks again for the response. Yes I have my first session this week. He is an addiction specialist and has written books on the subject. Hopefully he will help. Wish I could just put this behind me but after four years in starting to see it is chronic. I didn't even do drugs for that long but I guess it's just how my brain works.
Click to expand...

I'm really glad to hear you're going to try therapy. Let us know how that works out for you! :)
 
OP, I am going through the same thing, only difference being I'm still at the clinic...but I've got just a bit into the beginning of the 5th year, and I noticed the cravings start coming back where they had been practically nonexistent before. This led to my first relapse, which was a few days before this past Christmas. (I don't count the days at the beginning of the methadone clinic when I still had to use dope to stay well as relapse, more of a taper into MMT ;) ) I am working on figuring out why this has become an issue (cravings/using ideation) and understanding the reasons and triggers involved.
I wish I had an answer for you, but I am in the same boat as you are...I hope at least it helps to know that you aren't the only one who is going through this right now. I don't think there is one answer for it, as everyone's reasons for using, triggers and situation, despite some definitely recurring themes, is unique.
I hope things get better for you. Do you have anyone who you can confide in or just call when the cravings start? I'm lucky to have the most amazingly wonderful bf who I turn to...I'll even call when I'm in the car and a craving sneaks up and hits me. I hope things get easier for you, keep up the good work and keep on learning from others experiences and use those to gain some insight into our own.
 
Aww..that touches my heart.^^^

Its true, cravings never really go away. They just become easier to manage. Therapy is a great start. AA/NA may not be for you if you have to white knuckle it to stay sober.

I agree with CH. Having something you are passionate about will help. Hopelessness and despair are the wage of stagnation. I find gardening to really elevate my mood and take away my cravings. The best thing you can do is practice coping mechanisms such as calling a friend, drawing a picture, writing your cravings out and looking at the possible outcomes (generally all of them are negative). Recovery need not be white knuckle. Minor changes over time will get your ship upright and sailing straight again (progress not perfection).
 
don't throw away 4 years man thats such a long fucking time. Try and remind yourself of that man, be proud of yourself. 4 years is an incredible accomplishment... I've never even had 4 months clean from opiates. You need to have some type of hobby that you are passionate about.. do you have something that you love to do?
 
Cravings are a signal that something is not right in your life--so your brain rationally turns back to a source of relief (which is what Captain Heroin was talking about in using the phrase chronic disease). But now you know the fallacy of that "relief" so the task is to get down to what made your brain fall back to needing relief. I am a firm believer that to heal the symptoms of addiction you have to go to the deeper causes--not the circumstances that define your life, but the reactions to your emotions and finally to the emotions themselves. Most of us, when we dig deep enough find a sense of terror that we are not lovable as we are. Healing that perception can take a lifetime but the gains made along the way are considerable and it is possible to fins ever increasing levels of peace inside your own head.
 
herbavore said:
Cravings are a signal that something is not right in your life--so your brain rationally turns back to a source of relief (which is what Captain Heroin was talking about in using the phrase chronic disease). But now you know the fallacy of that "relief" so the task is to get down to what made your brain fall back to needing relief. I am a firm believer that to heal the symptoms of addiction you have to go to the deeper causes--not the circumstances that define your life, but the reactions to your emotions and finally to the emotions themselves. Most of us, when we dig deep enough find a sense of terror that we are not lovable as we are. Healing that perception can take a lifetime but the gains made along the way are considerable and it is possible to fins ever increasing levels of peace inside your own head.
Click to expand...

Truer words never spoken. The default setting for an addict is to use. After years of use we are hardwired to use as a sort of security blanket.

For me I went to rehab for two months. I continued therapy for six months after that. It was incredibly helpful because my best thinking kept getting me fucked up.
 
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