Ilove2nod
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2014
- Messages
- 894
So I have a very love hate relationship with crack. I have used it off and on for 6+ years and something about this drug, just appeals to me every time I have enough money to get some. Even though I feel great without it on just my meds(Bupe, kpin, and Adderall ). Here are my thoughts about this drug, and why love it and why I hate it.
Things I love about it: Its cheap. its always around. I love the intense first hit, you know "the bell ringer". The taste of it. The smell of it. Even just the way it looks(if its good)! The way it makes music sound so great, and amplified when your taking a hit! Etc.
Things I hate about it: Its super addicting. It doesn't last longer than 10 minutes each hit. The first hit is usually the only good one. It gives me extreme anxiety thus making me take way more of my kpins than I should. Having my eyes look all tweaked out in front of other people. And of course the awful comedown, even with benzos to help. Wasting money. Screwing up relationships with girlfriends, family, and other friends, due to all the lying and sneaking around I have to do, to do this shit which I have done too many times.. And Etc.
I would love to go back to being the happy stoner, strictly weed smoker, I once was before I tried hard drugs like crack. Sometimes I feel like i need to just move away and start somewhere fresh, but currently have no car or the money i would need to do so.. It took me a long time to get this way with crack, after i first tried it, i didn't even consider doing it again until like a year later, then my use of it became more frequent, and eventually became daily. So considering i used to smoke it like 24/7, i guess slowly i am doing a bit better and better as for the past 2 years i have only done once, maybe 3x a week at the most if i had lots of money. I now just do it like once every 2 weeks or so... I think if i continue to space out my usage more and more like this i might get somewhere, and just stop and only take my meds, which i feel perfect on anyways without doing crack or coke, and also use less of them(especially the klonopin) without the crack/coke. Really,I just don't know what the reason is why i do this dumb shit anymore. I'm really over it... just wish i could feel this way about it all the time.. that's my problem. By far one of the weirdest things i have ever been addicted to is crack, no doubt!
Anyone who has had or is going through a similar problem with this stuff, please share your experience and opinions!
Things I love about it: Its cheap. its always around. I love the intense first hit, you know "the bell ringer". The taste of it. The smell of it. Even just the way it looks(if its good)! The way it makes music sound so great, and amplified when your taking a hit! Etc.
Things I hate about it: Its super addicting. It doesn't last longer than 10 minutes each hit. The first hit is usually the only good one. It gives me extreme anxiety thus making me take way more of my kpins than I should. Having my eyes look all tweaked out in front of other people. And of course the awful comedown, even with benzos to help. Wasting money. Screwing up relationships with girlfriends, family, and other friends, due to all the lying and sneaking around I have to do, to do this shit which I have done too many times.. And Etc.
I would love to go back to being the happy stoner, strictly weed smoker, I once was before I tried hard drugs like crack. Sometimes I feel like i need to just move away and start somewhere fresh, but currently have no car or the money i would need to do so.. It took me a long time to get this way with crack, after i first tried it, i didn't even consider doing it again until like a year later, then my use of it became more frequent, and eventually became daily. So considering i used to smoke it like 24/7, i guess slowly i am doing a bit better and better as for the past 2 years i have only done once, maybe 3x a week at the most if i had lots of money. I now just do it like once every 2 weeks or so... I think if i continue to space out my usage more and more like this i might get somewhere, and just stop and only take my meds, which i feel perfect on anyways without doing crack or coke, and also use less of them(especially the klonopin) without the crack/coke. Really,I just don't know what the reason is why i do this dumb shit anymore. I'm really over it... just wish i could feel this way about it all the time.. that's my problem. By far one of the weirdest things i have ever been addicted to is crack, no doubt!
Anyone who has had or is going through a similar problem with this stuff, please share your experience and opinions!