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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Crack: the most love/hate drug ever.

Ilove2nod

Ilove2nod

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2014
Messages
894
So I have a very love hate relationship with crack. I have used it off and on for 6+ years and something about this drug, just appeals to me every time I have enough money to get some. Even though I feel great without it on just my meds(Bupe, kpin, and Adderall ). Here are my thoughts about this drug, and why love it and why I hate it.

Things I love about it: Its cheap. its always around. I love the intense first hit, you know "the bell ringer". The taste of it. The smell of it. Even just the way it looks(if its good)! The way it makes music sound so great, and amplified when your taking a hit! Etc.

Things I hate about it: Its super addicting. It doesn't last longer than 10 minutes each hit. The first hit is usually the only good one. It gives me extreme anxiety thus making me take way more of my kpins than I should. Having my eyes look all tweaked out in front of other people8o. And of course the awful comedown, even with benzos to help. Wasting money. Screwing up relationships with girlfriends, family, and other friends, due to all the lying and sneaking around I have to do, to do this shit which I have done too many times.. And Etc.

I would love to go back to being the happy stoner, strictly weed smoker, I once was before I tried hard drugs like crack. Sometimes I feel like i need to just move away and start somewhere fresh, but currently have no car or the money i would need to do so.. It took me a long time to get this way with crack, after i first tried it, i didn't even consider doing it again until like a year later, then my use of it became more frequent, and eventually became daily. So considering i used to smoke it like 24/7, i guess slowly i am doing a bit better and better as for the past 2 years i have only done once, maybe 3x a week at the most if i had lots of money. I now just do it like once every 2 weeks or so... I think if i continue to space out my usage more and more like this i might get somewhere, and just stop and only take my meds, which i feel perfect on anyways without doing crack or coke, and also use less of them(especially the klonopin) without the crack/coke. Really,I just don't know what the reason is why i do this dumb shit anymore. I'm really over it... just wish i could feel this way about it all the time.. that's my problem. By far one of the weirdest things i have ever been addicted to is crack, no doubt!

Anyone who has had or is going through a similar problem with this stuff, please share your experience and opinions!
 
Hey man-- I haven't done crack a whole awful lot, but I had the same feeling about using drugs. Just wanting to quit with every fiber of my being, but once the opportunity popped up, I wasted no time getting, using, then getting more. Even my scripts of xanax and suboxone made me feel that way. Finally I said fuck this shit, I am tired of being a prisoner in my own body. Neglecting actual life bc I was so preoccupied with when I was going to get my next dose of whatever-the-fuck to make me stop feeling, ya know what I mean? Fortunately I was able to stop both cold turkey (xanax first, then the subs) without massive withdrawal. The only way to break the cycle is to just stop. Every time you put it in your body, you set off cravings at whatnot. Just my personal experience. I've lost family, boyfriends etc as well so I am all too familiar whether it's crack or heroin. Hang in there man, and don't lose that resolution of wanting to stop! Hope everything works out for yas!:D
 
Thanks Mf_Mayhem. I hope so too. This shit is so frustrating to me. its like as soon as I get money I think... "ok I have money must get some coke now!" honestly I like soft and hard but usually only get hard, because the soft is almost always more cut up, the hard is always fire. But it doesn't even matter how good it is, its stupid addicting, especially when you have it. I used to do H and other opiates too, but I luckily got off them, with lots of problems in the process of switching from dope and pharms to subs. At first I hated subs, and just wouldn't take them when I originally was put on them, forced to go on them! that didn't work because I still wanted real opiates like oxy and H mostly, but over time, after losing one of my best jobs, and being ambushed by my family and forced to be in an intervention, much like you would see on the TV show intervention lol, I obliged and took them... after about 2 weeks or so of hating it, I began to adjust to them, and loved them over time. I truly love subutex! I know its weird but I love subutex as much as I do oxy, heroin, and any other opioid, especially since I started trying it in other ROAs like sniffing, plugging and IV. Which I know are terrible for you(excluding plugging them, that is harmless), but it still beats doing the same thing with dope and possibly having an OD or something, especially the way it is these days with all of the fentanyl laced dope. Plus I don't have to go through all the waiting for my connects to be "good" while being dope sick bullshit I used to have to deal with all the time... sitting in my car waiting probably was what half of my life consisted of when I still did opiates, the other half was dedicated to doing them haha. it was fucked, very glad I stuck with bupe, even if I abuse it, its still better than the alternative!
 
Smoking crack is more of a statement. It's about saying fuck u to society. If that's what you are into, crack is the path taken by the fearless who realize life is to short not to be livin it to the fullest. I've never done crack because I am not the one of the very few. I choose to live a life f wake up go to work just to enjoy 1 day out of the week (Saturday) sunday sucks cause its the day before one day so Im miserable 6 days out of the week to enjoy 1. I will keep doing this till the day i die. My purpose in life is to work and make money for someone else and avoid drugs so i can make more money and die. Crack heads are always in Saturday so I envy them.
 
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Sobrietysucks, no its a drug. Its an addiction and its real, but all mental. It really fucks with your mind, a total "mindfuck" for lack of a better word. But I guess I see where your coming from, like hey "fuck your society!" anarchy of some sort. But if crack is making that statement than why isn't heroin or crystal meth? They are all saying fuck you to society, for the most part! I mean all illegal drugs are!!! shit.. lol sorry that is your opinion, not trying to be dickish, I am just kind of blunt, meaning I speak whatever I feel! no lies, no sugar coating, so I sometimes sound like a total asshole because of this, I apologize if I gave you that impression, that isn't what I was going for, just speaking my mind.. Also what do you mean "Crackheads are always in Saturday so I envy them???" I don't understand.
 
I think what he means is that most crackheads are unemployed bums who just sit around and smoke crack (when they're not pawning shit they stole in order to buy more crack). So, since they have no job to go to, it's like they're living life in one big weekend.
 
Burnt Offerings said:
I think what he means is that most crackheads are unemployed bums who just sit around and smoke crack (when they're not pawning shit they stole in order to buy more crack). So, since they have no job to go to, it's like they're living life in one big weekend.
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Yep
 
Ilove2nod said:
Sobrietysucks, no its a drug. Its an addiction and its real, but all mental. It really fucks with your mind, a total "mindfuck" for lack of a better word. But I guess I see where your coming from, like hey "fuck your society!" anarchy of some sort. But if crack is making that statement than why isn't heroin or crystal meth? They are all saying fuck you to society, for the most part! I mean all illegal drugs are!!! shit.. lol sorry that is your opinion, not trying to be dickish, I am just kind of blunt, meaning I speak whatever I feel! no lies, no sugar coating, so I sometimes sound like a total asshole because of this, I apologize if I gave you that impression, that isn't what I was going for, just speaking my mind.. Also what do you mean "Crackheads are always in Saturday so I envy them???" I don't understand.
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No need to apologize dude I appreciate that
 
Word... yeah I would say I am more of the occasional smoker as opposed to a crackhead.. I used to be one, when I smoked it every single day. But I feel there is a difference between a crackhead, and a smoker... I'm a smoker, meaning I don't pawn off things and go all crazy to get it and if I don't have it I don't have it and its ok, I just get it if I have money from working or what not... I know what a crackhead is, I have met many of them in my life... and I also know what a smoker is, someone who just does it when they can. Not someone who always needs to have it, every single day.
 
^^I agree with you. There is a difference. I haven't smoked in lots of years and have gotten clean multiple times for years in between. I've learned a lot from this site. I'm thinking that I may try it again and use some of the techniques lots of water, time my redoses, chop my hits into powder, maybe even try a banger to vaporize it. I'm chosing to enjoy myself today.
 
Sobrietysucks said:
Smoking crack is more of a statement. It's about saying fuck u to society. If that's what you are into, crack is the path taken by the fearless who realize life is to short not to be livin it to the fullest.
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Oh yeah, locking yourself in a room to smoke crack until the bag is gone, then lying, cheating, and stealing to get another bag of the shit repeated ad nauseam is really living life to the fullest.
 
Crack is wack.

Actually it's kind of fun. :) You feel weird smoking crack, though...like in the back of your mind you're thinking, damn, I'm smoking crack right now. Mama tried!

It's strange that I get self-conscious feelings of guilt when abusing stimulants but not, say, when I used heroin. But crack and meth feel extra grimy for some reason (although with meth it's more like "lol I'm doing meth right now, I always knew my white trash genes ran deep herp derp")

It's not really the stimulant of choice in my local drug market, though (I live in northwest USA, land of meth n' honey)
 
If crack lasted at least 3 or 4 hours per hit, then it would be the best drug ever. As it is, it's a total fool's errand to use it.
 
Dresden said:
If crack lasted at least 3 or 4 hours per hit, then it would be the best drug ever. As it is, it's a total fool's errand to use it.
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My thoughts exactly, hence why I transitioned to crystal. Crack is the 'pay rent or have a weird fun fucked up two days' drug followed by lack of paying rent depression.
Good luck OP
 
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