zombiesarepeaceful
Bluelighter
8) So yeah. After another night out at the gay bar, I was invited back to my drag mom's (from here on referred to as K) house to drink. Sure, why not? This...several hour long 'trip' taught me a few things having to do with ADD, my body, and other people's opinions of "hard drugs".
While we were still at the bar, I had taken 3 benadryl, equaling 75mg of diphenhydramine. I do that when I'm feeling particularily anxious. I didn't expect to be drinking or anything later, or I wouldn't have taken it. Turns out it didn't impact anything too drastically.
Get to my drag mom's house. We cracked open some beer, soon to be followed by 2 shots of vodka. Note, I can mix my liquor and beer and be fine. It was me and a few friends from the bar. I noticed that K and the one guy were going in and out of his room for extended periods of time, which was odd for them. We usually all chill in his room. Meanwhile us, the group of people chilling in the room start talking about sexuality, and we stumble upon the subject of drugs. I say yeah..I do drugs. I party. The one guy asks me if I've ever done coke or crack. I say coke (was in the form of ecstasy), but no crack. I don't think anybody remembers me saying this though. K comes back in the room, the one dude fills him in, K asks me if I party and I'm like, "seriously, dude, you think I'm innocent?" He says ok, I knew it, I'm glad that you know what we do and it's not awkward. Basically he lives in a crack house. No cooking of the crack goes on there, but plenty of dealing. Wonderful.
So following this conversation, we all file out to the kitchen where everybody is, and the party begins. By this time I'm drunk, slightly sedated from the benadryl, and I think we may have already smoked pot by now...but not sure. They start passing around the crack pipe. I'm glad I've seen it before and know what to do thanks to stories from my roommate, cause I hate to seem naive around drugs. I figure what the hell, I might as well find out what the hype is about. It's here, it's free.
I take a hit. Hold it in. Exhale. Nothing, then I feel less sedated. By the time it makes its way around again, I take another couple hits and start to feel the speedy yet calm..now with my previous history with stimulants I am very cautious with them, cause if I take too much I feel like I'm oding again. But this has sort of a calm feeling attatched to it, which I attribute to all the alcohol and benadryl. I look in the mirror at one point and notice the sort of crazy look in my eyes. My face seems sunken in, but that may have just been me.
We smoke more pot, and as far as I remember the pipe was being passed around like every 20 min. Suddenly I can relate to the invincible feeling that is spoken of unkindly when referring to "crazy crackheads". The "I can conquer the world right now" feeling. At this point I was smoking to stay awake and counteract the alcohol. We have to take some people home, so I'm asked to ride along so the driver doesn't have to deal with the jackass passengers alone. I agree.
The ride took an hour. I get back to K's house, it's about 5:30am. We haven't slept. What's better to do, than...continue drinking and smoking crack?
We were planning to go to sleep, get up, and go to the mission to get clothes and food in the morning. But the sleeping never happened. Nor did the going anywhere. I saw a side of K's that I would have rather not seen. What qualifies one as a crackhead? Smoking all day and night? Cause that's what happened. I never would have guessed that about him. A screaming match breaks out, and I just sit there and sip on my beer. Praying the pipe goes around again so I don't pass out.
The temporary drama dies down and it's just us now, and the people who live there. The guests leave. We end up staying up...smoking more crack. I stopped drinking. No one is running around, scratching their head, talking in super fast sentences, acting like a lunatic. Everybody is just chill, except for the dealer, who does resemble the twitchy, jumpy, speedy version of a crackhead. He literally smokes every 5 min too. I tried to figure out what he was doing when he cooked it in the spoon, but gave up.
This continues, we smoke a little weed, but I'm not really high on that. Now that I'm on just crack..I feel super calm. Not add for once. My head is not running in circles. And unlike most stimulants, if I went against my judgement and took a hit when I was already high...it didn't make me freak out or speed up uncontrollably. Just calmer. The calmness has lasted awhile longer than the high now. My chest feels..not numb..but comfortable. My insides feel the same. And my asthma gets better while I'm on it. Tastes like smoking plastic though.
It's now 3:08pm, and we haven't slept. I left to go to the library and sleep..and eat. I'm crashing hardcore now, cause of lack of sleep, not the comedown from the high. I can't see myself getting addicted to it. I don't really see what the hype is about. I didn't go mad. I didn't scratch sores in my arms. It wasn't intense. It was just...there. For as much as it costs and as short as the high lasts...it's not worth it if i'm paying for it.
I did realize what I had done...my first "hard" drug. I'm no virgin to drugs, but this was the first one with a bad rap that I've exposed myself to. I texted a few close friends, and only ended up telling two. One was like...ok. That's not bad. The other was disappointed in me. Understandably. She said I'm worth more than that. So please...educate me on crack, stories, feedback, stories relating to ADD. Sorry for the length.
-ZAP
While we were still at the bar, I had taken 3 benadryl, equaling 75mg of diphenhydramine. I do that when I'm feeling particularily anxious. I didn't expect to be drinking or anything later, or I wouldn't have taken it. Turns out it didn't impact anything too drastically.
Get to my drag mom's house. We cracked open some beer, soon to be followed by 2 shots of vodka. Note, I can mix my liquor and beer and be fine. It was me and a few friends from the bar. I noticed that K and the one guy were going in and out of his room for extended periods of time, which was odd for them. We usually all chill in his room. Meanwhile us, the group of people chilling in the room start talking about sexuality, and we stumble upon the subject of drugs. I say yeah..I do drugs. I party. The one guy asks me if I've ever done coke or crack. I say coke (was in the form of ecstasy), but no crack. I don't think anybody remembers me saying this though. K comes back in the room, the one dude fills him in, K asks me if I party and I'm like, "seriously, dude, you think I'm innocent?" He says ok, I knew it, I'm glad that you know what we do and it's not awkward. Basically he lives in a crack house. No cooking of the crack goes on there, but plenty of dealing. Wonderful.
So following this conversation, we all file out to the kitchen where everybody is, and the party begins. By this time I'm drunk, slightly sedated from the benadryl, and I think we may have already smoked pot by now...but not sure. They start passing around the crack pipe. I'm glad I've seen it before and know what to do thanks to stories from my roommate, cause I hate to seem naive around drugs. I figure what the hell, I might as well find out what the hype is about. It's here, it's free.
I take a hit. Hold it in. Exhale. Nothing, then I feel less sedated. By the time it makes its way around again, I take another couple hits and start to feel the speedy yet calm..now with my previous history with stimulants I am very cautious with them, cause if I take too much I feel like I'm oding again. But this has sort of a calm feeling attatched to it, which I attribute to all the alcohol and benadryl. I look in the mirror at one point and notice the sort of crazy look in my eyes. My face seems sunken in, but that may have just been me.
We smoke more pot, and as far as I remember the pipe was being passed around like every 20 min. Suddenly I can relate to the invincible feeling that is spoken of unkindly when referring to "crazy crackheads". The "I can conquer the world right now" feeling. At this point I was smoking to stay awake and counteract the alcohol. We have to take some people home, so I'm asked to ride along so the driver doesn't have to deal with the jackass passengers alone. I agree.
The ride took an hour. I get back to K's house, it's about 5:30am. We haven't slept. What's better to do, than...continue drinking and smoking crack?
We were planning to go to sleep, get up, and go to the mission to get clothes and food in the morning. But the sleeping never happened. Nor did the going anywhere. I saw a side of K's that I would have rather not seen. What qualifies one as a crackhead? Smoking all day and night? Cause that's what happened. I never would have guessed that about him. A screaming match breaks out, and I just sit there and sip on my beer. Praying the pipe goes around again so I don't pass out. The temporary drama dies down and it's just us now, and the people who live there. The guests leave. We end up staying up...smoking more crack. I stopped drinking. No one is running around, scratching their head, talking in super fast sentences, acting like a lunatic. Everybody is just chill, except for the dealer, who does resemble the twitchy, jumpy, speedy version of a crackhead. He literally smokes every 5 min too. I tried to figure out what he was doing when he cooked it in the spoon, but gave up.
This continues, we smoke a little weed, but I'm not really high on that. Now that I'm on just crack..I feel super calm. Not add for once. My head is not running in circles. And unlike most stimulants, if I went against my judgement and took a hit when I was already high...it didn't make me freak out or speed up uncontrollably. Just calmer. The calmness has lasted awhile longer than the high now. My chest feels..not numb..but comfortable. My insides feel the same. And my asthma gets better while I'm on it. Tastes like smoking plastic though.
It's now 3:08pm, and we haven't slept. I left to go to the library and sleep..and eat. I'm crashing hardcore now, cause of lack of sleep, not the comedown from the high. I can't see myself getting addicted to it. I don't really see what the hype is about. I didn't go mad. I didn't scratch sores in my arms. It wasn't intense. It was just...there. For as much as it costs and as short as the high lasts...it's not worth it if i'm paying for it.
I did realize what I had done...my first "hard" drug. I'm no virgin to drugs, but this was the first one with a bad rap that I've exposed myself to. I texted a few close friends, and only ended up telling two. One was like...ok. That's not bad. The other was disappointed in me. Understandably. She said I'm worth more than that. So please...educate me on crack, stories, feedback, stories relating to ADD. Sorry for the length.
-ZAP
