Coping with terrible panic??

It will get better. Anxiety is standard while withdrawing from opioids and benzodiazepines, and more so if you are predisposed to anxiety disorders. Try taking a relaxing bath or a long shower. Read. Slowly, perhaps very slowly, you will begin to feel normal again. Looking for a chemical to help with your current state is not the way to go. Your mind and body need to adapt to your re-discovered state of consciousness. Do not give up. You are a very brave person for making the decision that you did. Cheers.
 
Thanks so much guys.

If I was still on holidays or had no commitments I would in all likelihood just 'tough it out'. But I've been so secluded for so long, and am now sober as a cunt and back to full-time law. I'm not coping and it's only 2nd week of class. I've bailed for almost every class so far. Just can't take it!

Also, if I could get relief from a beta-blocker then I would be able to scrap the 'get wasted/take benzos before class' idea, which is clearly the more destructive. I just can't explain how devastating this is for me. I'm in the latter part of my degree and should be meeting people and making good connections but instead I'm living in constant fear. As soon as I walk out the door my stomach drops and I feel sick. And I just don't have the luxury right now of devoting myself to shit like meditation and CBT - I mean, I am anyway, but this stuff takes a long time to work and I'm just not getting results. If I miss a few more classes I will have failed the attendance requirement - I will fail all my courses outright.

I'm seeing my shrink in a couple of hours and am going to ask about beta-blockers. I hope so much that he is willing to give them a go and I really don't know what I'll do if he isn't. Well, I do, but I just don't want to go there.
 
I would def go back on the buperenorphine at a low dose. At a low dose it wont interfere with your cognition and it would have antidepressant and antianxiety effects. At a low dose of 1mg it wont be hard to
quit either. Then i would wait until summer months off school and quit bupe again. Dont underestimate buprenorphines antipanic effects, they are potent.

Being on bupe is not like being on benzos, which can have semi permanent and drawn out WD. Its much much safer on the body and brain, and at low doses near benign.
 
^^ I doubt he wants to start taking opiates again after going this far...

I'd bet more of his anxiety/panic is from not having benzos than opiates... I dont find bupe to help that much with anxiety/panic p ersonally
 
There's no FUCKEN way I'd get back on bupe. I'm 43 days clean! I would be comfortable with occasionally using it or benzos to help with nerves, but no way would I get back onto daily dosing. That would literally and immediately negate all the work I've put in.

I just saw my shrink and got propranol hydrochloride 10mg x 100. He said to take 20mg daily, and that I could take it as needed, viz., wouldn't have to take it daily. But he admitted that he works primarily with indicated psychiatric drugs and as such is not hugely knowledgeable about beta-blockers.

Does anyone know whether beta-blockers are more or less effective depending as whether they are taken daily or 'as needed'? If my tute is monday, should I take it every day between now and then? Also, what dose would be good on monday, considering that my panic attacks are fucking hectic and sort of stunning.
 
in all likelihood i doubt that the tutor or people in the class are even going to remember or care about however you looked the last time around. if you are anything like me you are allowing those thoughts run wild and thinking the worst. i do this kind of thing all the time, sometimes in situations that haven't even happened yet. for instance i refuse to run on treadmills at the gym because i am so concerned with how people would look at me if i tripped and fell. i'm worried about the way people who i don't even know would view me if something that has never happened in my life actually did happen so i avoid it completely and ride the bike :)

good luck on whatever you do, dude.
 
^

im glad you used that treadmill example; and honestly?
how would you react if you saw someone trip and fall on a tread-mill?
maybe for a moment youd chuckle inside, but i imagine you all might offer some sort of help,
and not think it was to funny depending on their demeanor and if they were ok -
id guess this would be my reaction, and the reaction of most people for that matter.

this is the sort of thought process i had to adapt, and was what helped me speaking in front of classes, or eventually getting a customer service job.

i felt confident that what i was thinking, is probably not much different then everyone else was, and because of this, i didnt have much reason to feel embarrassed or that worried.



... just wanted to throw that out there for whom ever might be reading.
 
The problem I always run into with CBT in the context of my anxiety is that I'm just not convinced that my fear is irrational. If I saw someone bathed in sweat and shaking and white as a ghost I would think something was wrong with them. I may not dislike them, I may even offer to help; but I wouldn't want to employ them or invite them over. This is a big problem to my mind, and probably an obstacle to my progress. It seems a certain 'leap of faith' is required for CBT to work, but I just can't achieve it.

I also perceive all sorts of tensions between different versions of CBT and DBT therapies. Some advocate acceptance, others resignation/submission, others resistance and yet others a sort of considered indifference. Some tell you to distract yourself, others to focus on particular things, yet others to imagine you're not even in the situation. Sometimes you're told to create fearful scenarios in your head in advance (because "doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity") whereas other times you're told not to dwell on distressing scenarios, and to just go into each one afresh.

I just cannot reconcile all these inconsistencies. In the moment, when I'm having a panic attack, I become more anxious about all the failures of these theories than I do about the actual situation. I feel like something so shoddy and poorly constructed can never provide any help!
 
hehe its true, one does need to get through the initial symptoms before the ice starts breaking, and, doing so like you said; the stuff can all build up on top of each other, yes indeed.

did you see your doctor??


if the Beta-Blockers do work-out, id also seriously take advantage of it by practicing what you do know of CBT/DBT ASAP, or maybe when your daily grind starts to smooth out.
its true how you described the stark, polar opposites of opinion on how to go about practicing this routine of thought. but this only makes sense to me thinking that psychs might want their process recognized by their peers, or, that we all learn and view things a bit differently, so these opinions are maybe only varying ways to relate - IDK, thats one way of looking at it.


again, i know you can achieve with time and practice a habit of speaking, and thinking in a CBT type syntax, but practice in a way that will be affective! like you have said, its too much atm and you could use the assistance from the drugs. this sounds like a good idea to me, and knowing only what you have mentioned of your personal life, doing the best you can in school etc, is whats most important right now. staying healthy and living up to your potential - this is your goal it seems, and it sounds like you are still taking all the necessary steps to achieve it!


maybe take the most reasonable steps for now to finish this semester, such as the Beta Blockers or a script that is helpful to you. then when this semester is over you can focus on yourself more in order to take control of this panic D/O, for the next semester with a therapist or psych.

im serious about Hemi-Synch, it is a science of the mind that is simple fact. when the Left and Right hemispheres of our mind are working together in conjunction - IDK what to say, things are just easier, and we are more attuned and relaxed...
it isnt a new catchy trend, not at all, this is a valid, recognized practice that we cant help but be affected by, mentally and physically. when i learned Hemi-Synch, it was as enforced and valued as CBT was! both of which i use daily still, um, 15-17 years later.

if you can see the Isis thing i posted going clock and counter clock wise, you are simply using both hemispheres equally, or the L or R dominantly. ignore the comments, its a simple thing, and trying to pick it apart being over-analytical wont happen. my brother also tried to disassemble it, and he is a computer programmer, it cant be done.
this sort of thing is common in Asia for example, in large executive firms and grade schools to help get every one in synch amongst each other as-well. it one of the best things we can do at the start and ending of our days.



<3
 
Thanks man. I'll keep you guys posted on how the beta blocker works out.

I took 30mg tonight before going out. I had much less sweat and tremors, but strangely felt as though I was internally much more panicky. I'll try it again tomorrow and see how it goes. I noticed, before I left the house tonight, that despite feeling intensely anxious, my heartrate was virtually nil. Like I felt sick and nervous but when I felt my pulse it was impossibly slow. Which is good I guess, but heartrate was never an issue for me - sweat is the big one.
 
It's nothing pathetic man. There's nothing weak about trying to cope with extreme panic/terror/fear. Going to school despite the anxiety shows strength. There's nothing impressive or "better" about those who are able to attend class without experiencing it. It just means they're willing to go into a situation that they feel comfortable in.
 
Thanks man. I'll keep you guys posted on how the beta blocker works out.

I took 30mg tonight before going out. I had much less sweat and tremors, but strangely felt as though I was internally much more panicky. I'll try it again tomorrow and see how it goes. I noticed, before I left the house tonight, that despite feeling intensely anxious, my heartrate was virtually nil. Like I felt sick and nervous but when I felt my pulse it was impossibly slow. Which is good I guess, but heartrate was never an issue for me - sweat is the big one.

interesting...
maybe you felt the internalizing as a sort of "re-coil", id imagine your body is accustomed to the reaction it has been feeling, and its mostly a knee jerk reaction.
IDK
but it sounds promising!


<3
 
Yeah, I do, for the first time in a long time, feel some small sort of hope. I have actually noticed, yesterday and today, that about 30mins after taking the Inderal, I feel noticeably more chilled. Not a pleasurable chilled, but just 'normal' I guess. I think that maybe the reason I felt panicky last night was because I was drinking beers with the Inderal.

I was just at the gym and my heartrate was at least 30bpm lower than usual. I don't know if this is good or bad. Usually when I do cardio I get up to 170 but today it didn't go over 140 at all. Really bizarre - it's like putting a tourniquet on my adrenal gland!

Some people here seemed to think that beta-blockers work more 'directly' than psych meds because they deal with the physical symptoms. My shrink thinks the opposite - he thinks that panic consists in negative/erroneous thinking and that, to deal with it, a person needs to address the psychological symptoms. So he still thinks I need to find a decent anti-depressant combo.

Do you guys think that I could increase my avanza from 45mg to 60mg without fucking things up this close to my next class?
 
Thanks for the article. Exercise definitely has helped me. I feel much calmer afterwards, if only for an hour or so. So even though it is SUCH A BITCH to get up and get to the gym, I feel it helps.

I had my contracts tute today and managed to stay in the room the whole time. But I took valium beforehand and so I don't feel happy or proud; I feel like it wasn't really an accomplishment.

I'm supposed to give a presentation in a few weeks and I don't know what to do. I can't just take valium because it fucks my head - today, for instance, I couldn't follow what was going on at all. I couldn't remember what had been said 15 seconds ago. And there is an extremely high standard of performance in this course - so I don't feel like I could give this presentation (which involves receiving questions from others) on valium. I also don't feel like I can do it sober as I barely managed to stay in the room today (with the valium).

What the fuck should I do??
 
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