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Coping with terrible panic??

suessmayr

suessmayr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
1,067
Location
Sydney, Australia
I really need some help as I'm struggling. I'm about 6-8 months off benzos and 40 days off bupe. I stopped all the other shit like immodium and restavit about 30 days ago. I take lexapro 20mg and avanza 45mg.

Something terrible is happening to me which seems to be a combination of claustrophobia and social anxiety. It is totally bizarre as I am a confident and gregarious person. It has happened before but never so bad. Whenever I'm around large numbers of people, or loud noises, or am in a small space like a classroom or a lift, I get all the symptoms of a panic attack. This is fucking me up hard as I'm a law/philosophy student and have classes full time!

Today I had a tutorial for contracts which I attended. As soon as it started I felt like I needed to spew. I can't conceal this from people as I visibly shake and sweat. My vision goes dark and blurry (or alternatively crystal clear) and I begin to feel lethal. I left the room at this point but eventually forced myself to return. Immediately it happened again at which point I just left again and kept walking. I didn't even take my stuff.

Am I faced with a choice between humiliating myself many times daily or getting back onto benzos?? From the tute I went and hit a doctor for some valium, but I didn't fill it. I don't want to take that shit anymore.
 
sounds like you are having an anxiety attack atm thinking about the stuff.

maybe you do need it, but, why not try w/o further incorporating other copping skills you must know - and continuing to expose yourself to these situations. im not suggesting you get out there to the point you think you are going to spew on your company, but, to find your quirk with CBD, self guided meditation, and more exposure. remember, remember very well that you are w/ding from meds which have a predictable response that you should be fairly familiar with.
for now if possible i would suggest attending meetings or events that you are "nervous" about with some one you trust and is educated to extents with this sort of thing. soon though they might become a security blanket - and you are going to need that later with out any sort of assistance.

i am 2 weeks free from the Klonopin, BTW, has been 4-5 years...felt as though i had cob-webs all over me and in my mouth and throat for 10 days(to say the very least - lots of jolts and twitches coming on now but what ever), and i am prepared for any sort of rebounds...sounds like you are as well, just, be careful and save those damn things as you have been, it took me 2 weeks to rebound in a classic manner the first step off the BZDs -- 16 days today after a long time of trying, and a couple of naive attempts to kick on my own.


700mgs-1g Valarien per day was very helpful at times.
 
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Hi Suess,

First off, I am very sorry to hear you are having such troubles! I am a psychology major and I understand the pressures of full time classes and everything else that goes along with them.

While panic attacks are not fatal, they cam totally disrupt one's entire life.

What I suggest is you find a good cognitive behavioral therapist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has shown to be most effective in the treatment of anxiety and panic disorders. It will help you learn to think differently in order to feel/behave differently. Panic and anxiety disorders are real and debiliating; but with a commitment to good therapy you CAN be freed from the hell that they cause.

As for Captain Valium... those drugs are generally useful only for a short time. If you have had problems with benzos in the past and are worried about becoming hooked, that you know you should leave 'em be. They are not a long-term solution as they do not fix the real problem. Good CBT will give you the control and power over anxiety such that no pill could come close to. Only you know if you can commit to taking the pills until you begin therapy, which should be ASAP.

Good luck to you!

OpioPhyllis
 
Thanks for the helpful posts.

panic in paradise - I think that I do have some sort of panic disorder. This is the first time in at least 3 years that I've had to deal with it because it's the first time in at least 3 years that I'm totally clean. I actually find that I'm alot worse if I'm with someone/have to talk to someone. Sometimes I'll be ok on my own, and then I'll bump into someone I know and trying to focus on what they're saying without listening to what's going on around me really stresses me out. This crazy thing happens to me when I'm around other people where I can individually hear and follow all the conversations around me. This makes it impossible to focus and totally fries my mind. Good work on the cleaning up. I have been using valerian at night and didn't know that it would be helpful during the day...?

opiop phyllis - I see a psychotherapist who I think practises CBT. I don't know how helpful it's really been - it's all just words in the end, whereas the panic is something I feel. I've tried so hard to engage with the therapy - I exercise every fucking day, I try to meditate, I get enough sleep. Last week I read 2 books about anxiety and 1 about depression. Then I get a day like today.

I just don't know what to do anymore. It's humiliating and exhausting. The worst part is that I can't just suck it up and try to deal with it because it manifests visibly. If I could just sit there and try to cope it would be fine but I must look like I'm on acid or something.
 
indeed it is, for myself anyhow, and that brand in-particular.


have you you ever looked into Hemi-Synch?


i see what you mean about convo's in public. for myself i would be receiving instructions from an employer at times, and instead of hearing the instructions i would only see them talking, their body language and eyes, the expression of their mouth and then worry about what they might be thinking of me, or my work...while this was happening i new i was "bugging", but yeah, just too much.
relating this reaction of mine towards others, as a confidence issue for myself, helped a great deal eventually, and after doing so, practicing CBT etc(brainwash yourself-one sentence at a time) things did seem to fall into place.



time: :-) time heals this sort of thing, or harbors it, even generates greater fear -- but which might be the case for you?
 
I can massively relate to that thing you've described! Whenever I talk to anyone I just zone in on their mouth or their eyes and lose the words and meaning altogether. Or I see myself looking at them, sort of through their eyes, instead of just seeing them.

What's hemi-synch? There's a couple of things like amino acids I've meant to get but never knew where to look. I'm tempted to try another med - my shrink said I could be off lexapro in 4 days and onto something like zoloft - but it takes time to respond and I don't know that I want to go through SSRI WD having just done it with bupe. And I would almost certainly have to miss class during the time taken to transfer.
 
^
google would be able to explain better then me atm...
;-)

ISIS - Brain Hemisphere-Test
this is a HemiSynch play, there are many ways to practice this technique(lack of better words), the idea is to allow the L&R sides of our brains to work in conjunction - or maybe to allow ourselves to be equally aware of our higher mind, and sub-conscience thoughts.
good stuff, highly credited.
 
I know therapy can be daunting, and of course it does not work for everyone. But the ability to change our thoughts during a panic attack will change our physiology. It takes lots of practice and open-mindedness. And definitely a good therapist.

Anti-depressants work, in time, for anxiety because the two disorders are--neurotransmitterly speaking--closely related. They are two sides to a coin. But yes, there is a 2-6 week lag period before a new one will work. And they'll only work for you so much--the rest of the work has to be done by you. Understanding how to bring yourself down from an impending attack. CBT and bio-feedback will teach you that your body cannot be in a state of anxiety if your brain is relaxed, and the reverse is true. Perhaps you should breathe new energy into your therapy sessions, try to really use the skills z/s/he is teaching you?
 
I get bad panic attacks...and I just sort of force myself into believing that it's all in my head...which for the most part it probably is...I can't see a shrink at the moment, so I just get by with convincing myself that I'm ok and that my panic is all something that isn't entirely real or logical....if that makes any sense...I've had panic attacks to the point where I'm curled into a ball on my bed, unable to move, with my heart racing so fast that I swear I'm going to die...once I stopped fearing panic attacks like those happening...they happened less often. I think fearing or anticipating an attack can trigger one.
 
since the physical effects from the panic seem to make it worse for you, have you thought about having a beta blocker prescribed off label for anxiety? This will get rid of the physical sensations that drive your anxiety. I have the same problems; still not sure what to do about them but quitting benzos has helped quite a bit surprisingly. I'd try other options before going back on them.

Valerian root during the day will actually wake you up, help you focus and ease your anxiety. At night, it'll make you sleepy. If only it didn't smell so bad I would use it.
 
I'll second Robot Tripping def look into getting a Beta blocker. Slows your heart physically calms you whole body which translates into calming of the mind. I also HIGHLY recommend something called Relora by NOW Foods. While in abrupt klonopin withdrawal it did wonders in calming anxiety. It acts very similarly to a benzodiazepine only it is not sedating nor habit forming. With the combination of a Beta Blocker/Relora I think you'll be in a much better place until you can get some CBT therapy that actually makes a difference.
 
^that is a good idea - and very interesting.

ive heard of Beta Blockers, but never their course of action...it seems to me this would absolutely help with any chicken and the egg -if you will- type reactions - which i try/need to be aware of myself...but to eventually make this a second nature...that only takes time.
;-)
 
Thanks guys.

I'll ask my shrink this friday about beta-blockers. Are there any anti-depressants that are especially indicated for anxiety?

I think I would definitely be able to bring myself out of a panic attack if I was on my own. But the issue for me isn't thinking that I'm going to die or go insane, but that other people will notice and think I'm a weirdo. This seems to create problems in the treatment - thinking you will die is clearly irrational and unfounded, but thinking that other people will notice someone with the symptoms I've described seems almost obvious...? For this reason I feel like alot of the CBT used to deal with panic attacks can never really apply to me...
 
I have taken the beta blocker Atenolol and if this is like what the rest of the beta blockers are like i will pass on that. I took that drug for years when i was a kid off label for migraines and it made me depressed as fuck, really fatigued all the time, i couldn't do 2 laps around the gym without almost or sometimes fainting and yeah it was a fun experience over all 8)
 
I have high blood pressure and tachycardia in addition to my panic whatever-it-is....I've been on a few different beta blockers...Personally, I'd ask for propanol (brand name Inderal) because it has the biggest psychological calming effect as far as beta blockers go...it's widely prescribed off label for anxiety. I've also taken atenolol (useless for me) and metoprol (am on currently, works ok for anxiety but I'd still choose propanol)....different beta blockers have very different side effects so one might be too much and another might be just what you need.
 
Do you take them during the day or at night? And do they make you drowsy in the same way as, say, seroquel or avanza?

I think I'm probably just going to get shitfaced before my next contracts tute. I never had a problem with alcohol so I feel like it's the only thing I can really use without having to worry about addiction. I know it's not a solution but I need to be able to engage with people as I feel totally alone right now.
 
i just realized i didnt mention how i believe i have gotten past being distracted during conversations, after you saying that you relate suessmayr.

but i dont know what to say, haha, because i dont pay attention to that...i will though, and can say after thinking about it, that for myself, when receiving instructions, or what ever, i visualize the details and imagine myself performing them. this also allows me i have found, to be able to predict any problems that may arise, or preparations i might need to make.

its difficult to explain this stuff, the laymen i am..so suggesting you try to do the same to meet your personal needs is almost trivial. be aware and take advantage of your preferred methods of learning, surrounding/environmental expectancies, natural instinctive abilities are all things to throw into a "deep-thought-crock-pot" or something. try to acquire a 3rd persons perspective, and observe the situation as you would two other people - its much easier to give advice then and have greater insight into a conversation for some, far less "personal" and "intrusive" so the substance of the moment is what is there, rather then worries about the past or future.


in my experience
 
There's not really any guarantee that alcohol would not become problematic if you are using it to feel better. It's really low on my own list of preferences but if I'm staying away from other substances I can easily start drinking every day instead. Still something to watch out for.

The only beta blockers I've used is Inderal and don't notice a huge benefit from it but I'll still take it if I'm feeling particularly anxious. Could potentially be helpful.
 
OP: I take metoprol 10mg twice a day....sometimes if I'm having a bad anxiety day I'll take 15mg. It doesn't make me tired. Any tiredness any beta blocker would cause me went away within a few days of taking it as my body got used to it. Then again...I have a fucked up work schedule and I'm hyperactive as shit so I'm less prone to being tired.
 
RobotRipping said:
Valerian root during the day will actually wake you up, help you focus and ease your anxiety. At night, it'll make you sleepy. If only it didn't smell so bad I would use it.
Click to expand...

i actually got some Valerian with Passion Flower today, and the label recommends opening the pill up and making tea with it...dont think ill be making tea with it. the Valerian smell is there, although the passion flower is stronger. i never burped it up hehe, like i would cinnamon or fish oil etc. just swallow it fast.
 
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