Oh yes I do have music but don't really trust myself to listen to negative music in this state, and am not really responsive to up-beat music, but I guess it's better than nothing. I watched solaris the other day and it totally fucked me up in the head, made me so upset and I couldn't shake it. It's weird coming off downers and being this emotional. The internal dialogue was one of the reasons I began with downers; it vanished that day I started getting high and reappeared the day I got clean. It's alot worse now.
I would like nothing more than to just sleep during the day but I think it would really fuck up my chances of sleeping at night, given that I'm only just scraping through to the morning onlike 5 hours. Also I don't have enough meds to just knock myself out during the day; I need to save that shit for bedtime.
S
Same thing with me I find negative music in a negative mood just = negative mood X100.
Honestly only way I've seen someone get the "easy road out" of opiate wd depression was by taking a nonopiate antidepressant that was potent enough to combat the depression. But this is risky sometimes like taking adderal. If you think about it however adderal directly counters a lot of the symptoms you get during opiate paws. Gets rid of the lethargy and that intense weighted down depression. There are also other nonopiate meds that have the potential to do this either by themselves or with combinations of other meds.
However, if you are trying to fight a biological offset with nothing more than behavoir, it should be evident that there are inherent limits to that. Because the problem isn't your behavoir, its your chemistry. Working out DOES help a lot, and its a behavoir, but its also a behavoir that effects your chemistry moreso than any I can think of. Problem is working out in that predicament is perhaps one of the most difficult things I could possibly think of. You already have absolutely NO ENERGY, so its not easy to force yourself to do that.
Getting off opiates imo requires a lot of plotting and planning. You really need to go at it with a resourceful james bond esque attitude. Lots of planning and plotting and strategic organization BEFORE you even quit. You need to gather all your resources while you are still strong. Organize an arsenal of things to help you cope, medicines included, then go at it balls to the wall and never look back.
With that depression though if you don't have the energy to get up and go for a run, and don't have access to a doctor or some powerful nonopiate anti-ds, theres not really a lot you can do to make it go away. So at that point the best plan becomes distracting yourself by taking on a case of OCD and just trying to keep yourself busy as much as possible. But if I sat around in that depressed type of mental state... listening to sad songs like airbase - escape I'd likely blow my brains out all over the wall.
G/luck and BE STRONG!! You can do it and don't be afraid to reach out to people when you need help. We are here exactly for that reason, to help.
