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Coping with death

T

Teetowl

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2009
Messages
115
Location
Leeds
I know iv not posted on here for ages I have come leaps and bounds since I have! but now I feel like iv tripped over a rock and planted my face on the ground again.
So this year has been absolutely shocking for people dying around me,
I had one friend die last year in September used to see her very quite often as she lived around the corner from me, I don't feel like I have been the same since. She fell out of a tree, I then had other friends die in march in his sleep, another 2 in august (one fell off a garage and another died in there sleep) one in september and one last week (Lung Cancer).

I feel numb from all the death and not really sure what to make of it, my tummy feels uneven, I felt like getting violent today so I have hidden away in my room. But I am not even sure if this is linked or not
Everything in my body wants to go downstairs sit around my housemate and friend but I feel frozen when I do try, Just want to sleep and mope feeling sorry for myself. Dose anyone else get like this if so how do you tackle it? 8(
 
I've felt that way after a friend committed suicide.

Damn I was so out of it mentally/emotionally it was like I was a "walking zombie" I was so numb, I draped dark blankets over my curtains during the day time and just sleep. It lasted for several months, until my mother took me to a psychiatrist and therapist. They gave me meds and they didn't work out well for me. It took therapy, family/friends to help pull me back to reality.

I believe it takes time and great support system to help you get out of that numbness. Don't rely only yourself because you might not be able to get over this by yourself, I'm not saying that your not strong but, death impacts everyone differently. Yea know?

Please take care & keep posting.
 
I know that there's no way I can convey this without some people thinking I'm crazy, but I've had close friends die of long-term illness that they suffered through, and one was a suicide. In every instance I was visited by them after they died, either while I was awake or in a dream, and in each instance they were at peace. My intuition is that the process of dying is challenging much like being born is, but once the dying part is done it's a wonderful release.

This past summer I was working HR at a music festival where someone died, and I was there when she coded. There was a lot of drama around her death from people who had a hard time coping, as well as emergency staff, but all that aside, a supreme peace moved through there. I'll never forget that the moment they declared her time of death, the morning sun broke over the mountain and shined right on the first aid tent. It was beautiful.

When my grandmother took her last breath, a tree that looked completely barren outside suddenly had hundreds of birds taking off from it.

I've also had two near death experiences myself, both from traumatic illness, and I had to be revived. Every bit of torment about the experience came from the bodily sensation of the illness. Once I felt I was starting to depart, it felt totally peaceful and I wanted to go there; the material world ceased to matter.

There is a lot about death that I can't really understand, but one thing I do know is that it's magical. If the person really does move on somewhere else, then it sure is a better place than here. Their work is done, they're finished. They get to go home. I envy them.
 
Foreigner said:
I've also had two near death experiences myself, both from traumatic illness, and I had to be revived. Every bit of torment about the experience came from the bodily sensation of the illness. Once I felt I was starting to depart, it felt totally peaceful and I wanted to go there; the material world ceased to matter.

There is a lot about death that I can't really understand, but one thing I do know is that it's magical. If the person really does move on somewhere else, then it sure is a better place than here. Their work is done, they're finished. They get to go home. I envy them.
Click to expand...

It's believed that the body produces dmt when you're dying as a coping mechanism basically. Would explain a lot of near death experiences I think.
 
I know the feeling exactly... I've lost as many friends as years I've been alive (27, to be exact) and in a sense, it never gets easier. But there also appears to be done kind of scar tissue building up on my soul. And the feeling really unnerves me.

I live on the third floor of a 5 bedroom house filled with my friends/roommates. I often catch some kind of negative attention for being a recluse when things get too overwhelming. I hate being recalled out on it, especially since the whole time I'm hiding, I'm ruminating on how irrational isolating myself is. But I can't seem to help it.

Coping mechanisms are difficult to learn, but I believe the more effort I put in to learning them, the greater my chances of growing from these experiences - not allowing them to become sources of social quicksand. Perhaps you might benefit from identifying and practicing some different coping mechanisms than those you've been using?
 
Coping with death is a very difficult process.

I've had some close people come and go from my life, mostly as a young teenager. Growing up I watched my grandmother slowly become more and more mentally ill until she passed away while in a nursing home. I watched my mother become diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, watching her slowly rot away from the inside out for a course of 5 to 6 years. I've lost some close people in my life, at a young age too. Now I even experience troubling signs of my own thanks to years of drug abuse. Death is something that has been apart of my life for a long time now.

As some who identifies with buddhism, I can't help but accept death as a natural part of life. Personally, I recommend the Bardo Thordol, otherwise known as the Tibetan Book of The Dead, to anyone and everyone.

I never was a religious person, however the years of drug abuse, particularly psychedelics and dissociatives, as well as several close calls with overdoses, have caused me to become extremely spiritual.

Buddhists believe when one dies they pass on to what is known as the inbetween, the phase inbetween death and reincarnation, or life. It is a peaceful, though often confusing phase for those involved but all signs point to it being peaceful and beautiful. If one lived a life of good karma they will be reborn into an upper realm or another life of good and comfort. All signs point to death not being the end, but a new phase of life and beauty. I rest easy knowing my mother and deceased loved ones are no longer in this reality of suffering but are now in a better, more peaceful realm of existence. I often like to believe they have indeed found peace of mind and ultimate nirvana in the after life. This is how I've learned to cope. Perhaps it will help you too.
 
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I have seen some of my relatives passed away and i dislike the feeling the of dread and mourning all around me. I have also had one of my best friends pass away a long time ago with me not even saying goodbye. Going to her to her wake was extremely hard for me, and seeing her in the coffin brought this unexplainable pain, anger and sorrow that you are so helpless and you couldn't have done anything to save her. I have not had anyone around me pass away recently and I would be terrified to find out if there will be.
 
That is a sign of depression already bro, I suggest that you seek medical attention because it's not anymore good. They will give you medications that is hopefully be just temporary, and you'd feel better with that.
 
in all the death i've seen i've had to distance myself from the event and it's harder and harder to do that the closer you are to whomever died
 
Teetowel, I empathise with You. My friend, Lewis, died of cancer at 29. I'd lost contact with him over two hours because I had cut contact with my ex. My friend, Sian, died 18 years old on operating table. She was full of athritus n
Had a hip operation that went wrong (Christmas time) plus another friend called Emma, one called Gareth, another called Lisa n my old support teacher, Mr Evans. Lots of died.
Anyway here if you need support n PLEASE do not please do not blame yourself,
Thinking of you,
Evey xxx
 
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