Coping with Big Issues w/o Drugs

[MystiKasT]

Hello all,

I need some help. I need to learn to cope with serious situations without the use of drugs. I've seen specialists and talked to others, but nothing seems to work like a nice fat line of heroin.

I'm currently out on $250,000 bail for felony distribution of cocaine along with other substances. I was nabbed by the DEA and FBI after a long investigation. I'm facing 6 - 12 years unless I turn state witness. On march 11th of this year, my girlfriend (who I planned to marry) overdosed. I have my preliminary hearing on June 3rd and I am really very scared. My attorney told me I will be doing 6 - 12 years due to mandatory minimum sentencing and the firearm involved and the only way to avoid that would be to turn state witness; even then, I'd be looking at a 1 -2 or 2 - 4.

I'm only 22 years old. I was a junior in college, on scholarship, doing very well. Now I've been expelled from school and am waiting to go to prison. I feel like my life is over. My girlfriend is gone, my family has all but disowned me, I am financially ruined, and my future is very grim. The only way I've found to (somewhat) effectively deal with this is through heroin. I will snort a fat-ass line, put on some music, play EVE online, and have a big smile on my face. When I don't have that heroin, the reality of what's occurring sinks in; and the worst part is, I can't really do anything to change it. I can't be with my girlfriend again, I can't get out of going to prison, all I can really do is work and save money for commissary. I love heroin, but at the same time I hate it, because of how dependent on it I've become.

I need to learn how to cope with my current life situation without numbing the pain with xanax and heroin. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and had success? Please let me know.

Thank You.

Edit: Is it really worth trying to find other ways? By Christmas, I will be locked up. Should I just say fuck it and snort all the dope I can? Or is that just the junkie is my speaking? Im trying to salvage my life however I can, but, perhaps its not salvageable and I should just ride this out until I hit the slammer (and have the worst withdrawal of my life).

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hi MystiKast, man I am sorry to hear about your sentencing. I wish you all the best with the hearing. Also, my deepest condolences for the loss of your beautiful girlfriend earlier this year, I hope it is getting a bit easier for you to cope with each passing day

Firstly, YES I do think it is still worth it to try and learn how to cope with difficult situations in life. Even though you might be going to jail, and even though you're feeling pretty down at the moment and you can't see much good in your future, you've still got your whole life ahead of you to turn things around for the better. The sooner you learn to live a life without drug abuse, the easier it will be for you in the long run. You mentioned that you've seen specialists in the past, are you referring to a drug counsellor or psychiatrist or something? When was that, and how long did you see them for? Did you gain anything from those appointments, or did it not really have any effect on your drug use? I personally think you should at least give it another try with a drug counsellor. Even if it didn't help you in the past doesn't mean it won't ever work for you. Sometimes it takes a few attempts of counselling for the information to "click" and to mean something. And hey, it's worth a try, it can't do any harm to see a counsellor again.

What do you think?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Im trying to salvage my life however I can, but, perhaps its not salvageable and I should just ride this out until I hit the slammer (and have the worst withdrawal of my life).

This is a situation that is going to take resolve and a strong belief that someday things can be better again. Trying with a belief that things are likely unsalvagable is not likely going to accomplish much.

Forming a plan by which your prison time will be as minimal as possible and that you will come out with maximal opportunities seems like a very worthy goal. You are also in a period of opportunity to do somethings about repairing relationships than you will be able to for quite sometime.

Your on a deadline. You don't need to focus on not using so much as making the best use of a critical period. I'd write out a huge number of goals and get on it. Sorry things are really rough and more hard stuff is coming up. I think you can have an OK future though, a lot of opportunity can be created by really utilizing the resources available to you now as wisely as possible.

 

[Asclepius]

Hello all,

I need some help. I need to learn to cope with serious situations without the use of drugs. I've seen specialists and talked to others, but nothing seems to work like a nice fat line of heroin.
I need to learn how to cope with my current life situation without numbing the pain with xanax and heroin. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and had success? Please let me know.

Thank You.

Edit: Is it really worth trying to find other ways? By Christmas, I will be locked up. Should I just say fuck it and snort all the dope I can? Or is that just the junkie is my speaking? Im trying to salvage my life however I can, but, perhaps its not salvageable and I should just ride this out until I hit the slammer (and have the worst withdrawal of my life).

Am so sorry to hear about all you've gone through man especially the passing of your girlfriend/fiance.
I think it is always worth trying to find a way, whatever it may be. Considering that all the damage to your life has been exhasberated by a running theme of hard Drugs', I dont think it is just a coincidence. Giving up on yourself is an option but what is it going to achieve for you? Addiction shortens the scope of options that we see, that are realistically feasable.
Dealing with stark reality is hard and we each have our own shit to deal with. Eventhough its not much comfort, even though you are a-lone in your own subjective experience you can see that you are not completely alone in your pain.
Echoing what N30 and Enki have said, looking for help and trying to find help that works with you(there is no magic wand but..) and for you is a possibility. You are young and just because things seem hopeless right now doesn't mean it's always going to last this way so convincing yourself that things are hopeless is going to make a really difficult situation even worse for you. People who come through situations like yours generally tend to gain an inner strength that they never thought was possible, thats not to say you can get to that position without a lot of hard work but nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. I really hope you keep fostering that inner voice of determination because it is and will always be your Ally.

 

[TheLostBoys]

I know 2 brothers that had alot going for them. They had a nightclub & a regular bar but sold heavy coke on the side & got caught. 1 brother it was his 2nd offense & the other one had a loaded handgun in his possession when they got busted. One did 9 years & the other 10 years since they were given "kingpin" status.

They got out 2 years ago, their father helped them get on their feet with opening up a legitimate business & they both got married & one has a kid on the way.

Things can be grim for a while but you should know they will eventually get better, hopefully......I dont think these guys gave up anyone higher because of the time they did. If I were you, I would tell your lawyer that you want as little time as possible if they want you to turn informant. You also want to relocate of possible when you get out because your life could be in danger.

It certainly would also be good for you mentally to relocate somewhere where no one knows you 7 you could start a new life (easier said than done).

As far as your gf, you know it will be very difficult to forget about her unless you are on drugs but they do say time heals wounds & the time will come where it will be okay. Good luck & stay positive.