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Control

llyando

llyando

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
70
Here's my thing. When I roll or do any drug for that matter I am always in control. Every action is my own and I hold myself ultimately responsible. I don't allow myself the excuse of Oh I was high then or drunk and thus I acted as I did where as were I not I would not have acted thus.

So my question is this: Do you feel that by always keeping myself in control that I am not fully allowing myself the experience of MDMA? Should I let myself go? I want opinions on the above if you don't mind. Thanks everyone.
 
I feel like totally letting go is just when you let yourself look really stupid... other then that I experience the full thing I think by focusing on it.
 
Depends...are you forcing yourself to be something or act a certain way when you are rolling? If thats the case then you probably have less control then you think... You just need to be natural...theres nothing wrong with letting go of everything assuming you are responsible and have placed yourself in the proper setting...
 
I maintain control/awareness at all times too, and have often wondered what it is like for those who dont... but I always come to the conclusion that for all the fun they may be having, they make Really Bad Choices™ a lot more often than I'm comfortable with. ignorance may be bliss, but it can be very dangerous, and I'd rather play it safe, espcially when under the influence. I can relate several instances where me keeping my wits when others haven't has prevented or resolved some Really Bad Shit™.
 
I was walking with my friend tonight and it's all good. Realized that i'm just chill. Thanks for everything guys and girls. Just be yourself is good advice for sure.
 
What's funny is when I'm rolling - the REAL me comes out . I am a social butterfly - talking to everyone , making peace with people and just having a good time. It appears when I am rolling at the club , I'm the guy who takes his shirt off and runs around with just undershirt and big ol gold chain :) . I talk to people who I think I would NEVER talk to but do it anyways. Peace
 
I believe trying to "remain in control" has made my experiences very bad and it causes a lot of anxiety for me. When I was younger, I would totally let go and it was the best times of my life! Now I resist the roll and have mini panic attacks. Letting go is going to be the best, but only if you're comfortable with who you're with.
 
I actually find it more enjoyable to feel I have awareness and control over my surroundings- the same reason I don't like to drink to the point of "drunk" and I don't like dissasociatives at all. "Rolling your balls off" doesen't mean more is more fun, or more is better- theres a balance point for everything- too little, and too much. I think for you, that certainly is personal.

The unique thing about MDMA is the "magic" period that everyone tries to prolong, re-create, or hold onto...and the best method for that is "control"- not overdoing it, not rolling too often, and knowing when a situation isn't worth rolling in.

For myself, MDMA feels like a different (but similar) drug compared to my "magical" period with it...it's not as mind-blowingly amazing, but it's still pretty damn good.
 
The metaphor I would use to describe the kind of control I mean is like when one is riding a wave. You, obviously, can not influence the wave so much as you come up peak and come back down all while remaining above water. That is all I mean. You don't go crazy and swim for your life, you just sit back and ride the wave with the least amount of effort you can while still staying afloat and calm.

Make sense?
 
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