Psychedalienation
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2016
- Messages
- 391
So I've been smoking weed for about 4 years now, and as of recently, my dealer moved away and I lost my job. So now I have to pay alot more for weed because my hookup is gone and I have no money to even do so.
I thought I was self medicating my depression/anxiety/insomnia/adhd disorders and using pot recreationally every day until this situation happened and I moved to drinking. I started drinking a little and long story short, (I have a more detailed thread on this matter) I got addicted and fucked up my life and now I am going to be attending rehab!
I want to not act out addictive behaviors but I feel like if after rehab, and after I learn coping skills and all that, if I smoke weed, I'll be acting out an addictive behavior by consuming a mind altering substance. And as much of a pothead as I am, I'm not going to sit here and say "shit man, it's just fucking weed" because everything has a potential for addiction/unhealthy abuse.
So will I be going back into an addictive state of mind by smoking weed, even with a "recreational/medical" mindset, or will I run the risk of turning to other drugs/alcohol again by continuing? I guess I am afraid of never smoking weed again because I fucking love it but I don't want this addictive disease anymore so I am afraid of my own mind.
Not sure if this belongs in the cannabis discussion or the sober living forums mods, so move as you please, sorry, I couldn't officially decide lol.
I thought I was self medicating my depression/anxiety/insomnia/adhd disorders and using pot recreationally every day until this situation happened and I moved to drinking. I started drinking a little and long story short, (I have a more detailed thread on this matter) I got addicted and fucked up my life and now I am going to be attending rehab!
I want to not act out addictive behaviors but I feel like if after rehab, and after I learn coping skills and all that, if I smoke weed, I'll be acting out an addictive behavior by consuming a mind altering substance. And as much of a pothead as I am, I'm not going to sit here and say "shit man, it's just fucking weed" because everything has a potential for addiction/unhealthy abuse.
So will I be going back into an addictive state of mind by smoking weed, even with a "recreational/medical" mindset, or will I run the risk of turning to other drugs/alcohol again by continuing? I guess I am afraid of never smoking weed again because I fucking love it but I don't want this addictive disease anymore so I am afraid of my own mind.
Not sure if this belongs in the cannabis discussion or the sober living forums mods, so move as you please, sorry, I couldn't officially decide lol.