Ceramic_Cat
Bluelighter
so i started writing again and would like to someday write a novel. half fiction/half non fiction.a novel which is exaggerated at some times so tonight i wrote a piece and would like to see what others think since i haven't been writing lately and don't know if it made my writing skills less good. any feedback/POSITIVE constructive feedback will be GREATLY appreciated
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TITLE:boyfriend/girlfriend//A.K.A sid&nancy circa 2011
"i checked my reflection in the mirror millions of times after he called and said he was on his way. my heart thumped hard against my ribcage, and it wasn’t because of the heroin he was bringing with him. i wanted him too, maybe more then the junk. i brushed my hair and then ran my fingers through it, messing it up in a good way. letting it hang in dark strips around my face under the knitted scarf i draped around my head. my eyes were dark, i had put on black eyeliner over the deathly brown circles which framed my tiny asian eyes.
after a few more minutes in the mirror he was here. i layed on my back on my bed, looking up at him. his eyes were barely there. he was already high. he layed down on top of me. all his weight crushing me, securing me, underneath his deadweight i was safe.
we did line after line of dope. he gave me 2 percocets which i washed down with dr. pepper.the apartment was empty except for our ghosts. the room was lit only by the laptop, which played songs quietly.
he dragged his body upright and sat on the edge of the bed, the dope was oozing through my brain and body. like a magnet in slow motion i lifted myself up and sat behind him, wrapping my legs around his waist. he rested his hands on my ankles, holding them, leaning backwards into me.i tightened my arms around his chest and kissed his ear. the chemicals warming us up. even though he wasn’t facing me, i could feel his eyes close as he started to nod off. i held onto him. almost loving him. i fell back, his body collapsing onto mine, i ran my fingertips through his hair, stroking his forehead. time passed and he regained consciousness.
i crawled off the bed and went to hang his coat up. laying on my bed he turned to face me. my back was turned to him as i put his jacket on a hanger.
“your so sexy, isabella”
my heart flickered, not because of the compliment because of how he said my name, none of my ex-boyfriends ever used my name. i was always “baby” or something similar. i never minded, but i always feel good inside when a boy uses my full name.
“really?”
i said, shyly, glancing at him over my shoulder. i laughed, out of nervousness and hung his coat up and slid the closet door shut.
“yes really”
he said, lighting a cigarette
“will youu be my girlfriend?”
i got back into bed and draped myself over his back, my chin resting on his shoulder.
“do you mean it? or are you just asking because your fucked up?”
i said with a smile, he twisted his neck around,looking into his eyes,me looking back, him being one of the few people i can maintain eye contact with, without feeling like I’m going to drop dead from feeling terribly uncomfortable.
he turned onto his stomach and grabbed my face. his hands were warm.
“of course I mean it”
a few minutes of silence passed, cigarette smoke swirling around and in-between our faces. i looked at his small mouth and the whiteheads on his face. i shut my eyes, painfully shy and barely whispered, as casually as i could manage
“yes”
he chopped up more lines and more cigarettes were lit. he ended up being fucked up to another dimention, his head resting on my tit, my heartbeat rocking him to sleep, my hands petting his hair. for some reason the heroin wasn’t hitting me. not even my eyelids. but i still watched television on mute with my eyes closed
all of a sudden the sun was coming up and we fell asleep golding hands and kissing in our sleep.
"
i still plan on revising and maybe stripping it down because when it comes to my writing i like to have a very minimalistic style. also i just wrote this now. but thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read it and give me some feedback
333333TITLE:boyfriend/girlfriend//A.K.A sid&nancy circa 2011
"i checked my reflection in the mirror millions of times after he called and said he was on his way. my heart thumped hard against my ribcage, and it wasn’t because of the heroin he was bringing with him. i wanted him too, maybe more then the junk. i brushed my hair and then ran my fingers through it, messing it up in a good way. letting it hang in dark strips around my face under the knitted scarf i draped around my head. my eyes were dark, i had put on black eyeliner over the deathly brown circles which framed my tiny asian eyes.
after a few more minutes in the mirror he was here. i layed on my back on my bed, looking up at him. his eyes were barely there. he was already high. he layed down on top of me. all his weight crushing me, securing me, underneath his deadweight i was safe.
we did line after line of dope. he gave me 2 percocets which i washed down with dr. pepper.the apartment was empty except for our ghosts. the room was lit only by the laptop, which played songs quietly.
he dragged his body upright and sat on the edge of the bed, the dope was oozing through my brain and body. like a magnet in slow motion i lifted myself up and sat behind him, wrapping my legs around his waist. he rested his hands on my ankles, holding them, leaning backwards into me.i tightened my arms around his chest and kissed his ear. the chemicals warming us up. even though he wasn’t facing me, i could feel his eyes close as he started to nod off. i held onto him. almost loving him. i fell back, his body collapsing onto mine, i ran my fingertips through his hair, stroking his forehead. time passed and he regained consciousness.
i crawled off the bed and went to hang his coat up. laying on my bed he turned to face me. my back was turned to him as i put his jacket on a hanger.
“your so sexy, isabella”
my heart flickered, not because of the compliment because of how he said my name, none of my ex-boyfriends ever used my name. i was always “baby” or something similar. i never minded, but i always feel good inside when a boy uses my full name.
“really?”
i said, shyly, glancing at him over my shoulder. i laughed, out of nervousness and hung his coat up and slid the closet door shut.
“yes really”
he said, lighting a cigarette
“will youu be my girlfriend?”
i got back into bed and draped myself over his back, my chin resting on his shoulder.
“do you mean it? or are you just asking because your fucked up?”
i said with a smile, he twisted his neck around,looking into his eyes,me looking back, him being one of the few people i can maintain eye contact with, without feeling like I’m going to drop dead from feeling terribly uncomfortable.
he turned onto his stomach and grabbed my face. his hands were warm.
“of course I mean it”
a few minutes of silence passed, cigarette smoke swirling around and in-between our faces. i looked at his small mouth and the whiteheads on his face. i shut my eyes, painfully shy and barely whispered, as casually as i could manage
“yes”
he chopped up more lines and more cigarettes were lit. he ended up being fucked up to another dimention, his head resting on my tit, my heartbeat rocking him to sleep, my hands petting his hair. for some reason the heroin wasn’t hitting me. not even my eyelids. but i still watched television on mute with my eyes closed
all of a sudden the sun was coming up and we fell asleep golding hands and kissing in our sleep.
"
i still plan on revising and maybe stripping it down because when it comes to my writing i like to have a very minimalistic style. also i just wrote this now. but thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read it and give me some feedback
