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Considering Fatal shot (Heroin)

J

jarlaxle117

Greenlighter
Joined
May 26, 2012
Messages
17
this is my first time posting here, hello every1. over the past few months ive been considering an intentional heroin OD. last night i climbed the walls withdrawling, ive been using about a gram per day for a while on top of my daily dose of Methadone and i eventually just went broke, now i have about 8 grams and a 500 ml rig i stole from a hospital, it would take too long with the 100 unit insulin needles i have, i cannot think off a reason not to do it, i just shot 0.3 grams just to take the edge off b4 i make a decision, i think ill go for a walk and call my mother who ihave not spoken to for over a year and then idk, im just tired of being a junkie, ive been addicted to opiate since early teenage years. well bluelight i think im gonna go, i just heard that the dark side was good for these type of post and i just dont know if im seriously gonna hurt myself or not.
 
Don't do it. Talk to a doctor or a friend, or both. Read the link at the top of the TDS forum about suicide. Choose life, please. Take control of your life, address your problems head on. Don't run away. In a year's time, you could be clean, healthy and happy. Isn't that better than eternal nothingness?
 
If youre tired of being a junkie you know what to do. And the answer isn't kill yourself. Gracious amigo, theres more than 1 way to "stop being a junkie".

Man up, get off the junk and atone for your own perceived wrongs. Killing yourself is not the only way out of the junkie life, its just the easiest and cheapest and leaves you absolutely no wiggle room.

Some doors you can only walk through once, and others you might find locked after you leave the hallway. And yet even MORE will open up if you pick one that isn't a dead end. Endless possibilities amigo, you could be doing a lot more than being a junkie. But death....death is the deadest of dead ends, it is the locked door with no handle to even pry back open again: once you open that door there aint no turnin back.

Shit, you cant even go BACK to being a junkie and heroin after this. At least staying alive and cleaning up, you always have the option to start using/kill yourself later.

I wont go crazy and say a year from now you could be president of the USA> BUT: a year from now you could have some $ in your pocket and not be suffering w/d.

If you want it bad enough you'll reach out and grab for it.
 
*hug* <3 <3 jarlaxle stay for awhile and we will give you love <3
If you don't want to be a junkie anymore book into detox clinic, everything's ok *love*
 
The fact that you created this thread shows that you don't want to follow through with this. Listen to that inner voice that told you to make this thread and get some help. The future could very well be quite different for you. Stick around a while and it'll get better eventually. <3
 
I flatlined before and there is no after life from whaf ive seen. Speedball stopped my heart and breathing. Im 6 months clean and i felt like you at one time. Whats bad is i DID make the attempt multiple times and always woke up hours later, no dope, and feeling like shit. Life aint all peachy buts a lot better than dying. As was said, later you can always change your mind. If you die you cant get high again let alone live out a possible happy life. PM me if you wanna chat more. I'll check often in case. "the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel".
 
i took alot of shots y/day but obviously none fatal, tho i still havent come up with a good reason not too. i dont think im suicidal, im just tired, i feel like a 60 year old man and still in my 20s. idk how to put the way i feel into words, just tired of it all
 
to the OP....

Please don't do it. There are lots of folks here that can help you and give you great support and guidance through all stages of quitting and managing your situation, many of them including myself are sending you good vibes right now.

You have already done the most important and courageous step by posting here, that takes real guts, now you are on the way to fixing the problem.
 
That's how my dads brother died.. Found him in a van in southern california mid summer with a quote "horse needle" in his arm. He had been dead for 2 days... Dont do it. Its not pretty.
 
i think theres some real good advice in this thread and i hope youve read it. suicide is a selfish choice and, if made, would be your last. theres a lot to live for. you can get clean, and start to shape out a life that you truly want; friends, wellbeing; a worthwhile existence.. whatever. suicide isnt fair to you or anyone else. your body and soul have done nothing. it seems irrational to make your final choice one that would end it all. keep your chin up and get the help you need man. its out there.
 
Have you tried anything else to stop your addiction? Detox? Rehab? Opiate Replacement Therapy? A medically supervised withdrawal? You have so many options. Please at least consider them before you make such a rash decision. Suicide is NOT the only way out. I mean, when you think about it, none of us LIKES being a junkie. It's a tough life to live. But think about all of the people who got clean because they got so "tired of being a junkie" that they finally decided to just quit. Somehow, they managed to do it. If they can do it, so can you! I firmly believe anyone can get off of heroin, if they want it bad enough. I'm not one of those people yet, but someday I will be... I know that in my heart, because I want to quit. I have plans in the works to go back to detox, it will be my second time. Just because I failed once doesn't mean I'm going to give up. I might fail another 100 times, but you better believe I'll just get back up, dust myself off, and keep trying! And I'll continue to do so until I get it right...

You just need to find it in yourself to have the same mentality, to do whatever it takes (apart from suicide and harming yourself) to get clean. You CAN do it. I have faith in you. <3
 
If I was you I would immediately go to a hospital where in the UK they would put you in a safe environment and keep you there until you are better.

If i knew where you lived I could be more specific but where ever you are in the world go to hospital now and tell them the EXACT truth about whats going on (don't need to incriminate yourself to get them to understand)

The MOST IMPORTANT THING is to know that it CAN AND WILL CHANGE IF YOU SEEK HELP

PLEASE GO RIGHT NOW and when you are better please come and tell us.
 
I lost everything too. And I wasn't the first one. Thousands and thousands of people gave away their lives for dope/drugs.

You know what? you might not be able to get it all back, being straight. But: you CAN get a new life, honest and true.

You guys think youre the first ones to 'lose it all' because of drugs? Get over yourselves. If thousands of people have done the same, and then reached out and rebuilt a new life, why cant you?

What youre so different from everyone else you dont possess that ability? Haha, I said the same thing about getting hooked on drugs in the first place: Oh I'll never do that!

Guess what? We're not as unique and special as everyone told us. While we are all unique, we also share a lot in common with others. And if others were able to get new lives after losing it all, what excuses do you all have? Shit i've seen 40 year old men clean up, and its WAY HARDER the older you get. If its impossibly hard for them, and they still manage, we have no excuses.

I know how you feel. I feel like i'm a fucking 100 years old, in a 20 year olds body. But that isn't an excuse. Even old people can get sober.
 
I have seen an overdose on Heroin, 4 in fact, someone close to me and its the hardest thing to watch, you do not want this to happen to you, you stop breathing, your pulse becomes faint, and the only thing that can save you is a shot of Narcan, and hope that the paramedics come soon enough to save you, Its something you DONT forget, when it happens to someone that you care about all you can do is watch and hope like hell the shot brings you back. Please do not consider doing this, you only have One life, and please consider the people around you and yourself.
 
To all those considering ending it all please just try and remember that somewhere there's someone who loves us and somewhere there's someone who needs us. I know this sounds overly simple but it is true. Until you can find a reason to live for yourself, try living for them. Eventually you'll get better.
 
If you do go ahead with it make sure you do it properly and don't make some half arsed attempt that turns you into a vegetable reliant on others for the rest of your life.

Good luck, I just wish there was something I could say to convince you not to do it. I just think that if you are going to do it make sure you get the job done properly.

Try and call the Samaritans or go to a hospital and have one last attempt at trying to get better with medical help. If that doesn't work then at least look into a more reliable way to kill yourself. I personally think that everyone should, if they are deemed not to be mentally ill, to have the right to end their own life if their suffering is intolerable. It is your body at the end of the day and what are they going to do, arrest you for attempting to kill yourself?

I know this is a cliché but suicide really is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things like addiction can be overcome. Hell, if you're really thinking of killing yourself and this is not merely a cry for help, then why not do something drastic like take a big supply of food and drink and just go to some desert island where you literally cannot get access to drugs and it would take a long while to get home and get access to drugs? Or spend a lot of effort trying to have ibogaine therapy? I've heard really promising things about this treatment. What I'm trying to say, is try using more extreme measures to fix the problem rather than giving up. I understand how difficult it is but suicide isn't the answer.
 
xburtonchic said:
I'm not one of those people yet, but someday I will be... I know that in my heart, because I want to quit. I have plans in the works to go back to detox, it will be my second time. Just because I failed once doesn't mean I'm going to give up. I might fail another 100 times, but you better believe I'll just get back up, dust myself off, and keep trying! And I'll continue to do so until I get it right...
<3
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<3xburtonchick<3

OP, everything that you are going through right now is temporary even though it feels endless. You have a long, long life ahead of you hopefully that holds so many possibilities. Recovering from addiction takes unbelievable strength and courage and those will be attributes that will serve you forever. Don't give up. Stay and fight.<3
 
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