Considering Adderall for therapeutic purposes and seeking advice

[anon2]

Hi,


Back in college around a decade ago, I found myself having trouble paying attention in class. I went to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed with adult ADD, and was prescribed a few meds including Adderall. I took them for a bit, decided it wasn't worth drugging myself and proceeded through college on finesse and will power. I stuck the remainder of the prescriptions in a box.

Fast forward to nowish. I am a software engineer and consider myself quite talented- however I lack focus. I'm not talking about random laziness or not giving a shit. I'm taking about stuff like seemingly having mental fights with myself: "Hey, you should check your email!" "No, I should keep working" "No, really check your email!" "Shut up!" (No, not actual voices, just such internal struggles.) I also sometimes find myself reading the same paragraph or same lines of code 5 or 10 times because I keep "spacing out" while trying to read them- even though they are well within my comprehension ability.

A few months ago, I lost my job due to somewhat unknown reasons although I suspect lack of productivity was at least involved. (I was certainly getting things done, but I always felt a bit behind in a "race" to output what my coworkers were.) As someone who dislikes wasting time, I immediately got to work on some other projects that are progressing nicely- however the constant fight against distractions and not "spacing out" is always there. About a week ago I was doing some cleaning and found my old Adderall prescriptions. I did a bit of research, checked my blood pressure (perfectly fine) and took a 10mg IR pill in the morning before getting to work. The results were subtle but very real. I got a lot done that day. A lot. I experienced no "euphoria" or other abnormal feelings. I felt free to choose or not choose to do work, but when I worked I was focused and easily moved from problem to problem. The only noticeable side-effect was possible slight insomnia that night. I had no "downer" or "crash" when it wore off. I took another 10mg pill the next day and had similar results. I tried 5 the next day, which had minimal effects. Then I took a day off and went back to 10 for another productive day.

The upshot of this is that I'm considering getting re-diagnosed and re-prescribed. But the idea of increasing tolerance, addiction, etc. is frightening to me. I have no interest in "highs" or such and would be thrilled if I could continue to get the effects I've seen for the last few days without hurting myself. I do not have an addictive personality- in fact I have strong willpower. (I have no history of substance abuse. I once played and loved a game that I realized was dominating my life- and so I stopped. I decided I wanted to stop viewing porn about 5 years ago for personal reasons and have successively stopped. etc.) But this does not mean I want to be arrogant and become an addict.

So basically, is it a good idea to try or should I just stay the crap away? I don't want a situation where I "try" it and find I've permanently altered my brain for the worse. I'm willing to set guidelines such as "never more than 10mg" "never more than 3x a week" or whatever.

I'm posting here because I feel like people here might have information you won't find on warning labels. Thanks for any advice.

 

[NeighborhoodThreat]

It really depends on if you feel you've got the self control to avoid going down that path. I've been there, amphetamines are seductive in their ability to keep you coming back for more and more and more without realizing it...and then becoming that pill you have to take to get any work done. I'm still pretty close to that point (although a few years ago it was even worse) with school.

Tread carefully, as I'm sure you expected somebody to say.

I like this thread, you should get some interesting responses...

 

[Louis CK]

I'm willing to set guidelines such as "never more than 10mg" "never more than 3x a week" or whatever.

That can be quite difficult because your tolerance increases, and you might find yourself needing to use more to achieve the same therapeutic effects.
If you do decide to seek a prescription, consider Focalin (dexmethylphenidate). When used as directed, it's a lot less euphoric than amphetamines, and feels more "stable," in general.

But yea, software engineering is definitely a field of work in which many people (ADD "diagnosed," or not) may turn to additional help from pharmaceuticals...

 

[anon2]

That can be quite difficult because your tolerance increases, and you might find yourself needing to use more to achieve the same therapeutic effects.
If you do decide to seek a prescription, consider Focalin (dexmethylphenidate). When used as directed, it's a lot less euphoric than amphetamines, and feels more "stable," in general.

But yea, software engineering is definitely a field of work in which many people (ADD "diagnosed," or not) may turn to additional help from pharmaceuticals...

I guess what I was wondering if it would be possible to find an "equilibrium" where I can take occasionally and not build tolerance. If I could even have 1 day a week like I had today it would be huge. I'm easily getting 3x as much done. Just cracked an elusive bug that's been evading me for a month...
I'll look into Focalin.
And yeah, I do feel like there's a lot of pressure in my industry. I'm able to solve harder problems than most people (in fact, a difficult problem excites me)- but I might take longer than the person who "kinda solves it." Unfortunately, I think my last shop was just more interested in throughput.

 

[morphonorconic]

Amphetamine is an extraordinarily effective drug for certain people. Though if you don't truly need them, you'd undoubtedly be better off without.

Weigh the benefits and the risks and decide. Ask yourself whether or not your attention deficit genuinely warrants daily use of amphetamine.

 

[NeighborhoodThreat]

^And therein lies the problem...

Good posts all around, anybody else have any experiences they'd like to share?

 

[windupthedoll]

I've been taking Adderall @ 20mg daily for 2 1/2 years and its kind of freaking me out. It definitely isn't as potent as it used to be and the side effects (anxiety, irritability, sweating) have gotten a lot much pronounced. I have a lot of ADD symptoms, but they weren't much of an issue until I got super depressed and was literally some sort of walking zombie. It sounds like you have a lot more willpower than me, but I would still urge you to "beware." I always got decent grades in school, but it took me way longer than average to get things done. Now I'm mentally addicted to this stuff. If you can keep your usage to 10mg 3x per week than I don't think you'll have any real issues, the question is if you'll be able to.

 

[verso]

I've experimented with a few different substances, and right now opiates are my drug of choice - heroin, more specifically.

I can honestly say that amphetamine salts, adderall, is the only drug to really grab me. It's hard to quit taking it, as your speedy, more productive, more capable self with the newfound, super human ability to really focus becomes your new normal.

I'd advise you to tread lightly, and to take as many breaks as you can... weekends for sure, if that's at all possible.

 

[olab7]

Amphetamine can really be a helpful drug. I used it for ADD in school and it workded good but I fell into addiction.But it took me about 9 months of moderate abuse to get to the point where I was binging on it often. I did't start out by usuing it theraputically though I started out abusing it then using it theraputically then abusing it even worse and lost control. That was my own fault though just because I've had my experiences I would never scare someone away from using amphetamines theraputically. the biggest problem really is the tolerance issue. Tolerance goes up quickly soon 10mg won't be enough.

I'd say go with it for awhile with the regime you have in mind, see if you feel like 10mg isn't working anymore and decide if you want to deal with upping i.t Try out things like magnesium too which help slow tolerance from building. If you find yourself getting hooked on it that's an obvious sign to stop as well.

 

[anon2]

So I've been using 10mg around 2x / week along with a 250mg magnesium supplement. It's working, but I actually seem to be developing a *sensitization* to it. I started getting a (really annoying) "high" that I wasn't getting at all at first. I'm going to try switching to 5mg and see what happens.
Maybe I'm experiencing it differently than other people, but I don't see what could be attractive about this "high" to make people want to abuse. I'm trying to get work done and my head feels all floaty.

 

[whippa craka]

Amphetamines are a poor choice for such therapeutic purposes. Anytime I have witnessed somebody chase Adderall for ANY purpose, they end right back up where they started, usually worse. My only working recommendation is for you to take Adderall as needed, and mentally prepare yourself to start changing your mindset and lifestyle. It takes personal mental development to overcome such things, drugs are ONLY a temporary solution in ANY case. Take the Adderall as needed, try to develop as a person and overcome it. As simple as it sounds, its the only solution modern science can provide. Usually this "personal development" is with the assistance of a counselor or psychiatrist. Good luck.