Confused...

[GarageFlower]

Me and my ex partner had always taken drugs together. We were both so alike and both enjoyed all sorts of recreational drugs whether at raves or house parties. We were just really close friends at first but over the time of a few months we grew closer and closer and ended up together.

Both our views on drugs were the same, they had been a major part of both of our lives for as long as we could remember...it was 'our thing'.

We both started experimenting with downers to take the edge off the comedowns after raves and full weekend binges, up until this point although we both LOVED drugs and lived to get fucked up on a weekend, it was only recreational. This changed when we both picked up an Oxycodone habit...we just used that and H to come down at first but then tried it once in the week, then twice and before we knew it we were hooked.

We both got onto MMT as we were both working but we'd still use daily in the evening after work. Now it just ended up that our relationship was just centred around opiates. Yeah we'd still go out and get wired but we were always using opiates together. The MMT all but killed my libido which didn't help things and I also lost my job which put a strain on the relationship as she was paying for us both to use and because we had made it into a habit of being together = using it was really hard to break.

Anyway as of about 5 days ago she just wants to be friends, this kills me as I still love her more than anything and I know she still cares for me but having an addiction associated with your relationship makes it so much more complicated.

Now she still wants to be mates but I only really hear from her if she wants to come round for a quick smoke and I just feel like I'm being used there massively as she knows I still want to see her.

All the drug use made us closer at the start but it's deffo come full circle and contributed to the end of the relationship.

Is it possible in your eyes then to go back to being just close friends?

On one hand I still wanna see her because I enjoy her company and she's all I've got but will it just further complicate things?

I cut everyone else out of my life really as I became less and less confident and my anxiety grew so I would be so alone..

 

[treezy z]

no you can't be close friends IMO, cut all ties, don't talk etc (unless you have a kid together or something) it's just gonna be painful to remain in contact.

 

[pofacedhoe]

you can only be friends long after you have gotten over the relationship IME

for now its keeping a huge wound open. give it a year or so

 

[GarageFlower]

Yeah that's what I always thought.

This is the only relationship I've had where we've been really close friends before hand.

I would like to be friends with her but I couldn't bare to see her with anyone else...even seeing lads messaging her on FB and stuff now tugs at me inside.

Finding it hard to be alone too as we were always together. Not seen her , or anyone for like three days now. Feel really cut off. Clichéd but she really was everything I had.

 

[llama112]

Yeah, it's hard to be "just friends" with someone who you were previously in a relationship with, until you are both completely over each other. You're going to take some time off from her before you can go back to being friends. You should hang out with other friends and reduce your drug use.