unsettled
Bluelighter
One thing to keep in mind is that 3 months isn't a long time to be addicted. I was on opiates and H for years and functioning fine, like you I thought I could continue to live that life and still hold onto the other things in life that were important to me. The problem is that all those things you're talking about, like doing well at school and holding down gigs with different bands will most likely become less and less important as your addiction increases.
I started my opiate journey with Poppy Pods and that wasn't too bad to maintain but it got my body so accustomed to opiates that when I couldn't get them anymore I turned to Heroin. The last 3 years of my opiate addiction I used primarily Heroin and I actually thought I was doing fine. I was playing music for a living, I was paying my bills, I had a girlfriend, lots of good friends and had a good reputation within my community. Gradually over a few years I lost all of those things. Heroin had become my only reason for existing, I had wasted away physically and isolated myself from all my friends. One day I finally hit my bottom, I was unable to fund my habit, I had pawned everything I owned except for my laptop and my bass guitar. As I got away from Heroin and tried to rebuild my life it was/is HARD! I had unknowingly burned nearly all my bridges during my years of using and I was oblivious to the damage I had done.
When I finally kicked I had 1 friend who still talked to me. ONE friend! And that friend admitted he was on the verge of giving up on me. I used to have a social life, a career that was expanding in ways I appreciate now but couldn't see at the time. After years of using H the only people I bothered to call were drug dealers and other junkies. It's been over a year since I stopped using Heroin and I'm still coming to terms to the fact that a good percentage of the people I know no longer trust me because they're afraid I'll relapse. It's hard to explain the pain that comes from losing the trust of everyone you know and respect, but it's tough. I'm sure you've experienced this to a degree already, but it doesn't get any easier. Quit while you're ahead!
My point is you seem to have been fortunate enough to have come out of your addiction without causing any serious long term problems in your life. If you can (and you can) stay away from those drugs you will have a much greater quality of life. It's hard to walk away from Heroin at any time but when your use hasn't caused any serious problems it's even harder. Suboxone was/is what has allowed me to rebuild my life slowly, mainly because it gets rid of the cravings and allows me to focus on getting my life together. I'm not recommending Suboxone, I'm just saying it's what worked for me, and if you had to choose between relapsing and Suboxone I think Subs are a better idea.
As much as my addiction cost me I was still very lucky in that I never ended up in jail and I never OD'd, every person that I used with ended up in jail at least once and some of them OD'd and are no longer alive. My story is hardly unique, but I was like you in that I thought I could use and function and everything would work out fine. Maybe some people can, but statistically speaking it's rare.
Anyway, best of luck to you!
I started my opiate journey with Poppy Pods and that wasn't too bad to maintain but it got my body so accustomed to opiates that when I couldn't get them anymore I turned to Heroin. The last 3 years of my opiate addiction I used primarily Heroin and I actually thought I was doing fine. I was playing music for a living, I was paying my bills, I had a girlfriend, lots of good friends and had a good reputation within my community. Gradually over a few years I lost all of those things. Heroin had become my only reason for existing, I had wasted away physically and isolated myself from all my friends. One day I finally hit my bottom, I was unable to fund my habit, I had pawned everything I owned except for my laptop and my bass guitar. As I got away from Heroin and tried to rebuild my life it was/is HARD! I had unknowingly burned nearly all my bridges during my years of using and I was oblivious to the damage I had done.
When I finally kicked I had 1 friend who still talked to me. ONE friend! And that friend admitted he was on the verge of giving up on me. I used to have a social life, a career that was expanding in ways I appreciate now but couldn't see at the time. After years of using H the only people I bothered to call were drug dealers and other junkies. It's been over a year since I stopped using Heroin and I'm still coming to terms to the fact that a good percentage of the people I know no longer trust me because they're afraid I'll relapse. It's hard to explain the pain that comes from losing the trust of everyone you know and respect, but it's tough. I'm sure you've experienced this to a degree already, but it doesn't get any easier. Quit while you're ahead!
My point is you seem to have been fortunate enough to have come out of your addiction without causing any serious long term problems in your life. If you can (and you can) stay away from those drugs you will have a much greater quality of life. It's hard to walk away from Heroin at any time but when your use hasn't caused any serious problems it's even harder. Suboxone was/is what has allowed me to rebuild my life slowly, mainly because it gets rid of the cravings and allows me to focus on getting my life together. I'm not recommending Suboxone, I'm just saying it's what worked for me, and if you had to choose between relapsing and Suboxone I think Subs are a better idea.
As much as my addiction cost me I was still very lucky in that I never ended up in jail and I never OD'd, every person that I used with ended up in jail at least once and some of them OD'd and are no longer alive. My story is hardly unique, but I was like you in that I thought I could use and function and everything would work out fine. Maybe some people can, but statistically speaking it's rare.
Anyway, best of luck to you!
