So I have been clean since I last wrote in here. I have improved socially and even managed to trust enough again to get into a relationship. Which seems to be going well so far.
So what's my problem?
All I do is work now. There is no time to think and reflect anymore. I can't be creative because I'm too busy following orders and well.. conforming to society. following the goddamn rules all the time. I don't like this. I even feel 'dumbed down'. I feel stupid!
I haven't taken anything in 4 months. just coffee and cigarettes. I am happy in my new relationship but I'm scared it will all go wrong. We both work, all the time. I just feel like I'm going to end up in the same old job all my life, ending up with kids I struggle to pay for. trapped... with one 'normal' problem after another. I just want to live!
Why do I feel this way?
why can't I just be happy? And why won't this headache go away?
So what's my problem?
All I do is work now. There is no time to think and reflect anymore. I can't be creative because I'm too busy following orders and well.. conforming to society. following the goddamn rules all the time. I don't like this. I even feel 'dumbed down'. I feel stupid!
I haven't taken anything in 4 months. just coffee and cigarettes. I am happy in my new relationship but I'm scared it will all go wrong. We both work, all the time. I just feel like I'm going to end up in the same old job all my life, ending up with kids I struggle to pay for. trapped... with one 'normal' problem after another. I just want to live!
Why do I feel this way?
why can't I just be happy? And why won't this headache go away?