-----Part 3-----
While I am still in the restroom trying to recover at the sink with cold water there is a knock on my door. I freak out a little because I have 19 Oxy 40's laying on my coffee table. I rush in the living room scoop up the goodies and just stick them in my pocket. I open the door and it is my best friend (former roomate from the beginning of this increasingly long tale). He actually went off to college out of state after I got us evicted and he moved back home so I do not get to see him much. He had been in town for a few days visiting family but we had not been able to get our schedules straight to hangout yet. So I am pretty excited we are catching up and talking about old times, discussing what is going on with us now. He has a blunt of some Kush that we smoke which makes my stomach feel much better from the vomiting incident. That is when I make the decision that I may regret more than any other in this whole story. I tell my friend the whole story about the car and ask if he has ever tried them. He says that he hasnt so I ask if he wants to split one to try it. He is hesitant at first and in my own defense I did not pressure him in any way. He wrestles the idea around in his head for a little while and decides he is on a quasi-vacation and why not. He has wanted to try it in the past and has not so why not now with his best friend, have a little fun on his vacation. So I do it up chop in into 2 lines and rail mine in one fell swoop. "Hello darkness my old friend." He is a little skiddish with his line he does half up one nostril stops for a minute and does the rest up the other side. I ask why and he explains that he had done a little cocaine through the years and it always made him feel 'off' if he only railed with one nostril so he always alternated. For some unexplainable reason after that I have always done the same thing. No matter how big or small the line if I am putting it up my nose I do half up left half up right still to this day. Anyways I am feeling pretty good. I probably wasted some of the first one with the whole vomiting but now I feel like I am exactly where I want to be. I have that same feeling that I remember so fondly. We sit there and chat some more for about maybe 30 minutes and he is really digging the buzz. He asks if I want to split another one and offers to pay for this one. When you are high everything just feels so right with the world. I can not really explain it but other users will understand what I mean so at this point none of this still feels like a bad idea to me. I am still not an addict in my mind. I am just having a good time. I tell him his money is no good here and proceed to chop up another one. Split it into 2 lines and tell him to go ahead that I am going to wait a few before I do mine. He does his business and now he is really loving it, going on and on about how mellow of a buzz that this is and now he sees what all the rage is about. And I am just all "I know right."
A little while later we have just been relaxing on my couch shooting the shit or whatever enjoying the buzz. Then Amy comes home. She walks in and of course my line is still sitting there on the glass insert of our coffee table. I know that she sees it so I immediately jump into telling her the story about the car and the guy being short us splitting a couple "just a one time thing" I say to her. She is not happy I can tell. She just has that look on her face that I know all too well from all my fuck ups of the past. I am pretty sure if we did not have company she would have completely flipped out on me. She did however still voice her displeasure with the situation in a civil manner. Stating obvious reasons for why I should not be doing this. My friend feels really bad and is being very apologetic and of course taking all the blame saying it was all his idea because he wanted to try them. Which is not exactly or really at all the case but I mean what are friends for if not to help a brotha out with his woman if he is able to. To this point Amy and I have been brutally honest with each other through out our entire relationship.(which is probably why it is the most succesful functional relationship I have ever had) I decide I will just let this one slide it is not a big lie and it seems to have calmed her down and now she is somewhat apologetic about the situation not wanting to offend our company. That day I learned that lies in a relationship even small ones, like many other things, is a very slippery slope. So now all 3 of us are sitting in my living room after a somewhat short period of uncomfortable-ness. We then start talking about what we are going to do for the night. Our friend is in town we have to entertain. We are discussing going out maybe hit the clubs(which I quickly shoot down; I never was a club guy), maybe going to see a movie and grabbing some dinner. I suggest that Amy could invite over one of her slutty friends for my friend. Which leads to her hitting me in the arm and declaring "I don't have any friends like that." Which is not true practically all her friends would fit that description in my opinion but I let it go and move on. We start looking in the paper for movies or any events that are going on in the area. Turns out that their is a Pink Floyd indoor laser light show at this local place in what is usually a planetarium. (They just play Pink Floyd music and have like an indoor laser light show may sound kinda boring for a weekend night out if your not a stoner but it was really awesome) This sounds pretty cool to all of us and then I, just without thinking about how angry she was earlier, blurt out "How cool would it be to get faded on oxy and that Kush and go to that show." She gives me that all too familiar look again and I cringe inside and prepare for her to really get angry this time. She turns to my friend and asks if he will excuse us for just a moment and immediately walks out the door into the hallway. He just stares at me blankly and says flatly "You are a fucking moron." I say nothing and just dutifully follow into the hallway and shut the door behind me. She does not start yelling as soon as the door shuts and I look up to a conflicted face rather than an angry one. "If we do this you have to promise me it is just this one time." I am completely taken off guard by this, she goes on to say a bunch of other things after that about how she likes to have fun too but she does not wanna go down that path again etc etc. But I blanked out after the first bit. I catch back up as she is making me promise her "say it" she said. "I promise." I said without hesitation. Slippier and slippier that slope would become.
So we go back inside and my friend just looks at me inquisitively. Probably wondering if I had screwed up enough that I and therefore he would have to find somewhere else to crash tonight since he was planning on staying with us. I give him a look like "we are good" with a thumbs up and he still looks confused. Amy walks over to the coffee table grabs the pen that I had cut in half to use for the earlier oxy consumption and rails the line that is still sitting in the middle of the coffee table without saying a word. The rest of that night was amazing. Had I had kept that promise that I made in that hallway it would be one of the best nights of my life. I had my two favorite people on this planet with me. We laughed all night we saw the light show. We ate at some Pizzaria that was open all night at 3am. The food was awful but it did not matter in the slightest. We walked the several blocks back to where we had parked earlier in the night singing the thunderous chorus of "Us and Them" at the top of our lungs. We were all Euphoric and stoned and just happy. It was the perfect "last time we do this" night and it should have been the last time I ever touched an opiate. But it wasnt, not by a long shot. I do not know how many of those lovely little pills we went through but it was enough that we all got sick and then did more to the point that we did not care. Amy and I agreed earlier in the night that whatever was left would not even be held onto to sell to make up the money for the car to avoid any temptation. That they would just be tossed out the car window or down the toilet or whatever just as long as they were gone before the night was over. I did not hold on to any of them to sell... but I did not throw them out either. I wish I could say that I at least had them in my hand ready to dump them and then at the last moment decided not to but that would be a lie. I never even considered dumping them. In my mind at the time I rationalized it as I could never do that because it is like burning money. That was not the reason though. I was an addict and now I was awoken. I had a stash already and a connect that told me that he had them whenever I wanted them. I was in love again. The next morning my best friend left my house also with the beginnings of a sickness that we share to this day and I even gave him one for the road. I also started lying to Amy that day. Both of those things (near the top of a long list of other bad decisions I have made in my life) I deeply regret.
-----End Part 3-----
While I am still in the restroom trying to recover at the sink with cold water there is a knock on my door. I freak out a little because I have 19 Oxy 40's laying on my coffee table. I rush in the living room scoop up the goodies and just stick them in my pocket. I open the door and it is my best friend (former roomate from the beginning of this increasingly long tale). He actually went off to college out of state after I got us evicted and he moved back home so I do not get to see him much. He had been in town for a few days visiting family but we had not been able to get our schedules straight to hangout yet. So I am pretty excited we are catching up and talking about old times, discussing what is going on with us now. He has a blunt of some Kush that we smoke which makes my stomach feel much better from the vomiting incident. That is when I make the decision that I may regret more than any other in this whole story. I tell my friend the whole story about the car and ask if he has ever tried them. He says that he hasnt so I ask if he wants to split one to try it. He is hesitant at first and in my own defense I did not pressure him in any way. He wrestles the idea around in his head for a little while and decides he is on a quasi-vacation and why not. He has wanted to try it in the past and has not so why not now with his best friend, have a little fun on his vacation. So I do it up chop in into 2 lines and rail mine in one fell swoop. "Hello darkness my old friend." He is a little skiddish with his line he does half up one nostril stops for a minute and does the rest up the other side. I ask why and he explains that he had done a little cocaine through the years and it always made him feel 'off' if he only railed with one nostril so he always alternated. For some unexplainable reason after that I have always done the same thing. No matter how big or small the line if I am putting it up my nose I do half up left half up right still to this day. Anyways I am feeling pretty good. I probably wasted some of the first one with the whole vomiting but now I feel like I am exactly where I want to be. I have that same feeling that I remember so fondly. We sit there and chat some more for about maybe 30 minutes and he is really digging the buzz. He asks if I want to split another one and offers to pay for this one. When you are high everything just feels so right with the world. I can not really explain it but other users will understand what I mean so at this point none of this still feels like a bad idea to me. I am still not an addict in my mind. I am just having a good time. I tell him his money is no good here and proceed to chop up another one. Split it into 2 lines and tell him to go ahead that I am going to wait a few before I do mine. He does his business and now he is really loving it, going on and on about how mellow of a buzz that this is and now he sees what all the rage is about. And I am just all "I know right."
A little while later we have just been relaxing on my couch shooting the shit or whatever enjoying the buzz. Then Amy comes home. She walks in and of course my line is still sitting there on the glass insert of our coffee table. I know that she sees it so I immediately jump into telling her the story about the car and the guy being short us splitting a couple "just a one time thing" I say to her. She is not happy I can tell. She just has that look on her face that I know all too well from all my fuck ups of the past. I am pretty sure if we did not have company she would have completely flipped out on me. She did however still voice her displeasure with the situation in a civil manner. Stating obvious reasons for why I should not be doing this. My friend feels really bad and is being very apologetic and of course taking all the blame saying it was all his idea because he wanted to try them. Which is not exactly or really at all the case but I mean what are friends for if not to help a brotha out with his woman if he is able to. To this point Amy and I have been brutally honest with each other through out our entire relationship.(which is probably why it is the most succesful functional relationship I have ever had) I decide I will just let this one slide it is not a big lie and it seems to have calmed her down and now she is somewhat apologetic about the situation not wanting to offend our company. That day I learned that lies in a relationship even small ones, like many other things, is a very slippery slope. So now all 3 of us are sitting in my living room after a somewhat short period of uncomfortable-ness. We then start talking about what we are going to do for the night. Our friend is in town we have to entertain. We are discussing going out maybe hit the clubs(which I quickly shoot down; I never was a club guy), maybe going to see a movie and grabbing some dinner. I suggest that Amy could invite over one of her slutty friends for my friend. Which leads to her hitting me in the arm and declaring "I don't have any friends like that." Which is not true practically all her friends would fit that description in my opinion but I let it go and move on. We start looking in the paper for movies or any events that are going on in the area. Turns out that their is a Pink Floyd indoor laser light show at this local place in what is usually a planetarium. (They just play Pink Floyd music and have like an indoor laser light show may sound kinda boring for a weekend night out if your not a stoner but it was really awesome) This sounds pretty cool to all of us and then I, just without thinking about how angry she was earlier, blurt out "How cool would it be to get faded on oxy and that Kush and go to that show." She gives me that all too familiar look again and I cringe inside and prepare for her to really get angry this time. She turns to my friend and asks if he will excuse us for just a moment and immediately walks out the door into the hallway. He just stares at me blankly and says flatly "You are a fucking moron." I say nothing and just dutifully follow into the hallway and shut the door behind me. She does not start yelling as soon as the door shuts and I look up to a conflicted face rather than an angry one. "If we do this you have to promise me it is just this one time." I am completely taken off guard by this, she goes on to say a bunch of other things after that about how she likes to have fun too but she does not wanna go down that path again etc etc. But I blanked out after the first bit. I catch back up as she is making me promise her "say it" she said. "I promise." I said without hesitation. Slippier and slippier that slope would become.
So we go back inside and my friend just looks at me inquisitively. Probably wondering if I had screwed up enough that I and therefore he would have to find somewhere else to crash tonight since he was planning on staying with us. I give him a look like "we are good" with a thumbs up and he still looks confused. Amy walks over to the coffee table grabs the pen that I had cut in half to use for the earlier oxy consumption and rails the line that is still sitting in the middle of the coffee table without saying a word. The rest of that night was amazing. Had I had kept that promise that I made in that hallway it would be one of the best nights of my life. I had my two favorite people on this planet with me. We laughed all night we saw the light show. We ate at some Pizzaria that was open all night at 3am. The food was awful but it did not matter in the slightest. We walked the several blocks back to where we had parked earlier in the night singing the thunderous chorus of "Us and Them" at the top of our lungs. We were all Euphoric and stoned and just happy. It was the perfect "last time we do this" night and it should have been the last time I ever touched an opiate. But it wasnt, not by a long shot. I do not know how many of those lovely little pills we went through but it was enough that we all got sick and then did more to the point that we did not care. Amy and I agreed earlier in the night that whatever was left would not even be held onto to sell to make up the money for the car to avoid any temptation. That they would just be tossed out the car window or down the toilet or whatever just as long as they were gone before the night was over. I did not hold on to any of them to sell... but I did not throw them out either. I wish I could say that I at least had them in my hand ready to dump them and then at the last moment decided not to but that would be a lie. I never even considered dumping them. In my mind at the time I rationalized it as I could never do that because it is like burning money. That was not the reason though. I was an addict and now I was awoken. I had a stash already and a connect that told me that he had them whenever I wanted them. I was in love again. The next morning my best friend left my house also with the beginnings of a sickness that we share to this day and I even gave him one for the road. I also started lying to Amy that day. Both of those things (near the top of a long list of other bad decisions I have made in my life) I deeply regret.
-----End Part 3-----