TDS Concerned about the well-being friends....Need to vent!

[SilentRoller]

Hey everyone,
This is my first post on TDS, so appologies if this is in the wrong forum. I will try to keep this as brief as possible.

I have two friends in particular who mean a lot to me (we shall call them M & R for the purpose of this tale), and they have both unfortunately been through alot of shit in the past year or so. R in particular, she had to deal with the loss of a baby and the break-up of a relationship which went along-side that (I won't go into detail as I don't want to be identifiable to anyone reading this). This ultimately left her in a state of depression which she ultimately slips in and out of depending on 'how stressful' life is at that current moment. Unfortunately, she also confessed to me that the stress and depression had lead to her having suicidal thoughts, although she followed by saying that she won't act on them etc etc.

Fast forward a few months, I offered her the chance to try MDMA. She accepted, and the experienced proved to be very benifical to her - alot came out, she said she hadn't felt that free from her depression in months etc, and that the positive afterglow lasted for days after. She seemed really happy

So since then, we have been out and partied together a few times on MDMA and had a great time and what-not. However, I fear she is starting to become psychologically addicted to MDMA. I had a conversation with her recently, and she stated how she really missed the feeling of MDMA (it has 3 months since we rolled together....I'm on a break ) and she wanted to know if we could do it again in September. I said I shall give it some consideration, but then she said she shall also be attending a festival in the upcoming week or 2, where she plans to use there....

I then came to the realization that she may be using MDMA for the wrong reasons. Whilst I'm compassionate that MDMA makes her depression fade away, it does not cure the underlying issues. I am therefore concerned that she is ultimately on a path of destruction, as she will in the long term make her depression worse. This is where M comes into the story. 6 months ago, M did MDMA with me for the 1st time and loved it. However, at the time, he was suffering with the recent breakup between him and his girlfriend, but he assured me it was getting better. Long story short, he ended up caning the MDMA, often dropping 2/3 times a month (sometimes back to back), and he has now been put on prozac due to his depression. I warned him several times to slow down on the MDMA (I even linked him to BL), and I was told "that I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm being boring". I am concerned R will suffer the same fate....

When all is said and done, I feel a terrible sense of guilt that 2 people are ultimately destroying (or on the path of doing so) themselves on a drug I introduced them to. I thought I would be doing them a favour by showing them the wonderful nature that is MDMA (they often thank me for introducing it to them). However, I care so much for my friends that I can't sit idle whilst I watch them rape their serotonin receptors to hell, but I don't know what to do. They are both adults so are capable of making their own judgements, but this doesn't stop me feeling gullty all the same. I'm scared for R....

Please help

SR

 

[herbavore]

I don't think that you need to take on the guilt of what your friends are doing with drugs even if it was you that first introduced them. Maybe you could write out what you wrote here to each of them separately, telling them what you are observing and how you are worried and why. Be absolutely clear and honest and then let it go. Everyone will make their own decisions, especially when it comes to their emotions and how they deal with them--there is really nothing you can do other than to give them your perspective and information and then accept that you cannot control what they are going to do with it. Maybe rather than just linking them to Bluelight you could pull up a couple of threads where people are discussing the consequences of having done too much mdma.

You sound like a good friend and someone that genuinely cares. You can remain supportive of your friends while being honest and that is about all you can do.

 

[SilentRoller]

Thanks for the reassuring words of advice herbavore, I think I'll do just that and link them to a few threads detailing over-use of MDMA (especially the one made by ME after I did too much MDMA/6-APB over 2 days). In terms of the guilt, I just feel responsible, as they never would of tried it if I hadn't suggested it and mentioned all of its wonderful characteristics etc. I told them that I myself had suffered from doing too-higher dosages (brain zaps etc) and that you should leave a month minimum between uses etc. Of course I realise we are not all angels, and we may ocassionally break said rule, but I really tried to instill in them responsible drug use. But now one of my closest friends is on prozac, and the other I can see getting alot worse if she doesn't slow down. I'm just scared she likes the feeling too much.

 

[Maya]

Hi silentroller I have read some of your posts on ed as I am also a sufferer of an mdma comedown. If it will help I think it is worth a try to have your friends read the comedown stories on bl to show them that when mdma is abused it can result to scary consequences and a long term comedown. Herbavore is right you shouldn't blame yourself too much on what happened as people have their own judgement and decisions but if you would really want to do what you can to help them realise it try having them see some of the comedown stories.