This is going to be a seriously long story even though it's going to be just a few questions but there's a lot of unqiue type details to the situation that might influence the answer to the questions; also I have adhd and as you'll read on I have nót had proper sleep the past week and that tends to give a very talkative loads-of-words-and-sentences style of conversation. I apologise ahead 
I have a set of questions relating to the fact that I may or may not currently have been become physically dependent to an opiate; the question is mostly to do with the fact that if you've gone through withdrawals before they eppear sooner and more intense the next time, atleast that what I heared and what I"m worried about. Before I can ask my questions I'll have to post a bit of a background story since its pretty complicated.
The past week I've been going through what I guess would be 'mild' GHB withdrawal; I stopped taking it without tapering a week ago thuesday; before that I had been taking it every two hours or so for six days and before that I was two days off it and before that another five days of bi hourly GHB dosing, the history before thát was weekend. I'm actually in all seriousness nót a huge fan of GHB, I like it, if I didn't I wouldn't have done it that often, but I like it about as much as I like alcohol; I exclusiely only like it in the company of other people, in my life I'v litteraly done it alone only three times all of which were in between insignificant and lame. The context of my usage is mainly my GHB addicted boyfriend, I spend the weekends at his place and most of the weekends I take GHB with him a part of that weekend because it leads to very open conversations, good atmopshere, opennness, affection, being on the same level and great sex. While he goes on being an addict the rest of the week I go home to my own life in which GHB plays no role at all, I don't even ever think about it. However the weekend before those 6 days I had done my first time MDMA with my boyfriend which by the way was awesome but because of that I stayed around at my boyfriends place longer because the experience had sort melted us together even closer then before and we just had to have the afterglowish time together. As you might guess though, we kept doing GHB alll those days before physically we were a bit dead from the heavy high dose MDMA experience and the GHB worked absolute wonders, making the total time of 24/7 dosing for me personally 6 days.
We'll skip some time ahead to last week thursday; two things had happened: I noticed the last two nights I had a bit of trouble sleeping the night through without waking up and that in the day time if it had been a while to my next dose a GHB I would feel nauseous so I thought if I quit NOW I might be just in time avoiding withdrawal; also my boyfriends order of fentanyl had just arrived that day and I do not mix downers ever; risky stuff. I ended up with even though I was on fentanyl most of the time going through some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms: severe insomnia, hearing voices who's sayings where mostly absolutely random, nausea, sore muscles, anxiety, worrying with the focus on anxiety and the sensory disturbances besides hearing of voices I would also hallunicate touch and when trying to sleep see beyond horrifying images; mentally I was clear headed and knew exactly what was going on, my logic, deduction, problem solving abilities etc. were not affected. I did not want GHB even though it was within arms distance and I was around a person who was taking it every 3-4 hours. In fact, early in the withdrawal my boyfriend actually recommended me taking some GHB a few times to which I told him 'No, I want to be done with this as fast as possible and the only way to do that was to simply not take any anymore; I figured every extra dose would add to the time of this suffering and that would be the last thing I wanted, and seeing how I was capable of quitting cold turkey I would NOT want to ruin it.
Either way my sleep was awful; first two nights I slept on GHB because logically I saw no other way and reasoned not sleeping might make me insane; took 1.5 ml the first night for sleep, slept 2 hours, took 0.4 ml the second night for sleep and again got like 1-2 hours; the third night I managed to sleep naturally ( well, on fentanyl actually), and the night after that I did not sleep at all; night after that I slept 7.5 hours without waking up and without nightmares which made me think 'yay its over' but its not because its 10.30 am while I'm typing this and I haven't slept yet. After that I again stayed up a full night and after that one got 10 hours of nearly continuous sleep due to exhaustion. Three days ago was the last time I heared voices but I still feel not quite myself and the insomnia is persistant.
I never want to take GHB again, to me personally its not worth its downsides at all; also my boyfriend simultaniously has been quitting his 24/7 GHB habit starting the same day after months of the 24/7 usage without pause and years of addiction which all throughout my own withdrawals I had been helping him with, talking sense into his paranoia, making a tapering scedule for him and helping him with his bouts of severe confusion but that is another story for which I'll make another topic in another subforum; this is already getting FAR TOO LONG.
So this leads us to today; my GABA system is still somewhat out of balance, but other then the 1.5 and 0.4 ml og GHB the first and second night of the withdrawal I have been free from all drugs that mess with the GABA system Yay for me. I wish I had time to celebrate but the upcomming weeks will be tking care of my boyfriend..
The thing is; I have been using fentanyl (self made nasal spray) since thurday every day throughout the day; it helped for the physical withdrawal symptoms from the GHB; kept my heart rate and blood pressure nice and stable and on the (safe ) and it was nice distraction. Now that means I've used fentanyl for a week now, which I assume is too short to provide withdrawal. However; in december I used fentanyl on and off for 5 weeks and also codeine in between which ended in a brief and intense physical withdrawal from thát (much more bearable then the GHB story, seriously), after that I had a break from strong opiates for four months or so, the break was from early januari to last week.
My concern is that its being mentioned that people who went through a withdrawal from an opiate before will get it faster next time. Tomorrow I'm going home where my mum lives, she's leaving for holiday in two days and I have to arrange some stuff and do quite a few things with her before she goes; this is very important, after that the house is mine for ten days. She does not know I ever did GHB, she cannot know and she shoudln't know since I've decided to never do it again, i'm more inclined to drink urine from a stranger then GHB after this![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I am still not fully recovered though and on top of that I only have the fentanyl at my boyfriends place, its ours but he keeps it here, she's unaware of that too. I myself háve actually had issues with psychological addition (althoug not with opiates or GHB) with ketamine and my mother would perish if she found out any of this. She's also very stresed and exhausted herself and really needs her holiday so I have to be very fit, healthy, happy and leave her confident she has nothing to worry about.
So my question:
- Tomorrow I will no longer be on fentanyl; how large is the chance for serious withdrawal after 7 days of being on it constantly? Its nasal spray and I've been physically dependant in the past once before. Is there a risk? If so, how bad would it be?
- I have in case of the worst: hash, xanax, loperamide and ketamine if there would be withdrawal. IF there was serious withdrawal, would taking xanax just one night to sleep bring the GHB withdrawal back or something like that? Can I do that? I don't want to take xanax but if i have to spend all saturday with my mother on a high energy day I MUST have slept before hand and if the fentanyl turns out to have been too many days in a row then I will need it to sleep for sure.
If it weren't for her I'd not be worried; would I go home to an empthy house I would think 'no problem if a fentanyl wiithdrawal occurs since I have hash so that I can eat, xanax so I can sleep, ketamine to feel no pain and loperamide so all i have to tolerate are the intense cold sweats, shaking and exhaustion/stressed-outness-mix for two days.
Oh by the way I keep saying tomorrow but that kind of meas this afternoon. Any advise or insights to what I should do or what might happen to me these two days?
I have a set of questions relating to the fact that I may or may not currently have been become physically dependent to an opiate; the question is mostly to do with the fact that if you've gone through withdrawals before they eppear sooner and more intense the next time, atleast that what I heared and what I"m worried about. Before I can ask my questions I'll have to post a bit of a background story since its pretty complicated.
The past week I've been going through what I guess would be 'mild' GHB withdrawal; I stopped taking it without tapering a week ago thuesday; before that I had been taking it every two hours or so for six days and before that I was two days off it and before that another five days of bi hourly GHB dosing, the history before thát was weekend. I'm actually in all seriousness nót a huge fan of GHB, I like it, if I didn't I wouldn't have done it that often, but I like it about as much as I like alcohol; I exclusiely only like it in the company of other people, in my life I'v litteraly done it alone only three times all of which were in between insignificant and lame. The context of my usage is mainly my GHB addicted boyfriend, I spend the weekends at his place and most of the weekends I take GHB with him a part of that weekend because it leads to very open conversations, good atmopshere, opennness, affection, being on the same level and great sex. While he goes on being an addict the rest of the week I go home to my own life in which GHB plays no role at all, I don't even ever think about it. However the weekend before those 6 days I had done my first time MDMA with my boyfriend which by the way was awesome but because of that I stayed around at my boyfriends place longer because the experience had sort melted us together even closer then before and we just had to have the afterglowish time together. As you might guess though, we kept doing GHB alll those days before physically we were a bit dead from the heavy high dose MDMA experience and the GHB worked absolute wonders, making the total time of 24/7 dosing for me personally 6 days.
We'll skip some time ahead to last week thursday; two things had happened: I noticed the last two nights I had a bit of trouble sleeping the night through without waking up and that in the day time if it had been a while to my next dose a GHB I would feel nauseous so I thought if I quit NOW I might be just in time avoiding withdrawal; also my boyfriends order of fentanyl had just arrived that day and I do not mix downers ever; risky stuff. I ended up with even though I was on fentanyl most of the time going through some pretty serious withdrawal symptoms: severe insomnia, hearing voices who's sayings where mostly absolutely random, nausea, sore muscles, anxiety, worrying with the focus on anxiety and the sensory disturbances besides hearing of voices I would also hallunicate touch and when trying to sleep see beyond horrifying images; mentally I was clear headed and knew exactly what was going on, my logic, deduction, problem solving abilities etc. were not affected. I did not want GHB even though it was within arms distance and I was around a person who was taking it every 3-4 hours. In fact, early in the withdrawal my boyfriend actually recommended me taking some GHB a few times to which I told him 'No, I want to be done with this as fast as possible and the only way to do that was to simply not take any anymore; I figured every extra dose would add to the time of this suffering and that would be the last thing I wanted, and seeing how I was capable of quitting cold turkey I would NOT want to ruin it.
Either way my sleep was awful; first two nights I slept on GHB because logically I saw no other way and reasoned not sleeping might make me insane; took 1.5 ml the first night for sleep, slept 2 hours, took 0.4 ml the second night for sleep and again got like 1-2 hours; the third night I managed to sleep naturally ( well, on fentanyl actually), and the night after that I did not sleep at all; night after that I slept 7.5 hours without waking up and without nightmares which made me think 'yay its over' but its not because its 10.30 am while I'm typing this and I haven't slept yet. After that I again stayed up a full night and after that one got 10 hours of nearly continuous sleep due to exhaustion. Three days ago was the last time I heared voices but I still feel not quite myself and the insomnia is persistant.
I never want to take GHB again, to me personally its not worth its downsides at all; also my boyfriend simultaniously has been quitting his 24/7 GHB habit starting the same day after months of the 24/7 usage without pause and years of addiction which all throughout my own withdrawals I had been helping him with, talking sense into his paranoia, making a tapering scedule for him and helping him with his bouts of severe confusion but that is another story for which I'll make another topic in another subforum; this is already getting FAR TOO LONG.
So this leads us to today; my GABA system is still somewhat out of balance, but other then the 1.5 and 0.4 ml og GHB the first and second night of the withdrawal I have been free from all drugs that mess with the GABA system
Yay for me. I wish I had time to celebrate but the upcomming weeks will be tking care of my boyfriend..The thing is; I have been using fentanyl (self made nasal spray) since thurday every day throughout the day; it helped for the physical withdrawal symptoms from the GHB; kept my heart rate and blood pressure nice and stable and on the (safe
) and it was nice distraction. Now that means I've used fentanyl for a week now, which I assume is too short to provide withdrawal. However; in december I used fentanyl on and off for 5 weeks and also codeine in between which ended in a brief and intense physical withdrawal from thát (much more bearable then the GHB story, seriously), after that I had a break from strong opiates for four months or so, the break was from early januari to last week.My concern is that its being mentioned that people who went through a withdrawal from an opiate before will get it faster next time. Tomorrow I'm going home where my mum lives, she's leaving for holiday in two days and I have to arrange some stuff and do quite a few things with her before she goes; this is very important, after that the house is mine for ten days. She does not know I ever did GHB, she cannot know and she shoudln't know since I've decided to never do it again, i'm more inclined to drink urine from a stranger then GHB after this
I am still not fully recovered though and on top of that I only have the fentanyl at my boyfriends place, its ours but he keeps it here, she's unaware of that too. I myself háve actually had issues with psychological addition (althoug not with opiates or GHB) with ketamine and my mother would perish if she found out any of this. She's also very stresed and exhausted herself and really needs her holiday so I have to be very fit, healthy, happy and leave her confident she has nothing to worry about.So my question:
- Tomorrow I will no longer be on fentanyl; how large is the chance for serious withdrawal after 7 days of being on it constantly? Its nasal spray and I've been physically dependant in the past once before. Is there a risk? If so, how bad would it be?
- I have in case of the worst: hash, xanax, loperamide and ketamine if there would be withdrawal. IF there was serious withdrawal, would taking xanax just one night to sleep bring the GHB withdrawal back or something like that? Can I do that? I don't want to take xanax but if i have to spend all saturday with my mother on a high energy day I MUST have slept before hand and if the fentanyl turns out to have been too many days in a row then I will need it to sleep for sure.
If it weren't for her I'd not be worried; would I go home to an empthy house I would think 'no problem if a fentanyl wiithdrawal occurs since I have hash so that I can eat, xanax so I can sleep, ketamine to feel no pain and loperamide so all i have to tolerate are the intense cold sweats, shaking and exhaustion/stressed-outness-mix for two days.
Oh by the way I keep saying tomorrow but that kind of meas this afternoon. Any advise or insights to what I should do or what might happen to me these two days?
