CompLibercate,
03/21/03.
Once I said that life was
a classroom,
expereince, the best teacher,
and you just keep taking each class
till you pass,
but I take a look at what
my mind and life has become
and get to thinking, with
continually-reinforced assurance,
that life's just a long, drawn-out test of endurance;
that life's a bitch, let her fuck you over
or hop atop her, hold on with all your might,
and ride her like the wild thing she is and
live just to feel the life.
I look to into the murky water of my
mind and I can't help but laugh at how I've
sacrificed so much hope to try and to integrte,
penetrate the lie staring back at me from this
putrid fluid's surface, falling
in and out and in again, so stupid
I am and have been, in
getting lost in the muck
and drowning in the
growing questions: my addictions
that add complication to the mind and life
lifted and liberated by those
rare, brief moments of care-free simplicity
where I
pop another,
drink another,
hang with friends,
sink into the breif, heated experience
between me and a girl again,
of veg in front of the TV,
or find the laughter rise out of me
that I thought for so long had deserted me,
to pretend that I'm normal
and not fucked up inside, to yet again
pretend that I'm everything I could never be,
pretend that this is all
something it isn't; after all,
perhaps it is.
03/21/03.
Once I said that life was
a classroom,
expereince, the best teacher,
and you just keep taking each class
till you pass,
but I take a look at what
my mind and life has become
and get to thinking, with
continually-reinforced assurance,
that life's just a long, drawn-out test of endurance;
that life's a bitch, let her fuck you over
or hop atop her, hold on with all your might,
and ride her like the wild thing she is and
live just to feel the life.
I look to into the murky water of my
mind and I can't help but laugh at how I've
sacrificed so much hope to try and to integrte,
penetrate the lie staring back at me from this
putrid fluid's surface, falling
in and out and in again, so stupid
I am and have been, in
getting lost in the muck
and drowning in the
growing questions: my addictions
that add complication to the mind and life
lifted and liberated by those
rare, brief moments of care-free simplicity
where I
pop another,
drink another,
hang with friends,
sink into the breif, heated experience
between me and a girl again,
of veg in front of the TV,
or find the laughter rise out of me
that I thought for so long had deserted me,
to pretend that I'm normal
and not fucked up inside, to yet again
pretend that I'm everything I could never be,
pretend that this is all
something it isn't; after all,
perhaps it is.
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