Companion : Ferris Wheel

[plazma]

I saw something and it saw me
Nodded once and introduced ourselves
'We met once', it said, 'a long long time ago'
Memory failed, I assented unthinkingly
It took me by the hand and led me
To places in my head and all points west
A nom de plume without visage

Both belittled and enlarged by truth
My understanding came in sizes too small to fit
And so we wandered for a time
Long past the shadows of old knowledge
Where men are clockwork figures come to life
Labouring to destroy the factories whence they came
Till keys spent and motion lost, they die

To the lands roofed by more than bloodshot sky
The times when thorns tell truth and flowers lie
Within the grey canyons and niches deep
Sparks fly and spirit dwells
It slowly lost its animated form
Because it was my guide and only friend
The tears I shed were not in vain

At what felt like long last I thought
But was much shorter than I guessed
My companion drifted, ethereal in form
And without departing it became this place
I had stopped the running reflex
Let the wheel come full circle at last
So I stood once more and introduced myself

Darkened sun or brilliant moon shines
Unbalanced we are tops that cannot spin
Many tears are shed for our dysfunction
Rule straight lines with our effort
Do we read or live between them?
Is there, companion of thought, a prescription?
Lenses to adjust this blurry world so I can see

Coochie-coo, baby-blue, step up and take a seat
On this magic, psychadelic ferris wheel
It costs you immortality to ride just once
Clean clothes and shiny sharp objects aplenty
You may use the red 'eject' button to your left
So the wheel starts to turn and we grow up and old
Management hopes your mortality has been pleasant

-plaz out-

 

[PsychoKitten]

there are no words...

 

[jeebus13]

Amazing. It makes me dry up inside and get all moist and clammy outside.
I wish I'd thought of it.

Well said.

 

[cherub]

as always your writting touches me, i keep seeing you writting grow and grow and more amazing.

mommabear

 

[Cosmic Mist]

werd to that....

 

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

Wow.
My fave bits, as follows;

My understanding came in sizes too small to fit

I really LOVE this line. It evokes a brilliant image, and like all good pieces, it takes very little word length to do it.

Where men are clockwork figures come to life

This imagery is very impressive and is like a gold nugget poking out of the whole piece. I love it. :D

To the lands roofed by more than bloodshot sky
The times when thorns tell truth and flowers lie

And this hauntingly beautiful line really changes the mood from sharp and somewhat dry, removed and cynical to emotive and very much liquid.

Lovely work.

 

[smileyfish]

Really intersting piece Plaz - I liked the themes and ideas. The word 'epic' springs to mind *chuckles*. You don't like writing about small concepts do you?

I saw something and it saw me
Nodded once and introduced ourselves
'We met once', it said, 'a long long time ago'
Memory failed, I assented unthinkingly

This captured me right fromt he start and is one of my favourite parts. I know that kind of senstation. My only criticism would be the 3rd stanza - it starts well but a couple of the lines don't fit as well as they sould - I guess they stike me as a little 'ordinary':

Sparks fly and spirit dwells,
It slowly lost its animated form
Because it was my guide and only friend
The tears I shed were not in vain

But then again maybe I'm just hypercritical Please keep writing I enjoy reading your work and meeting the challenges of your themes.

Smiley