committed to getting clean

[kinlee]

Hello, this is my very first post on anything like this anywhere ever. I have never spoken about my 'habit' to anyone and I'm here to hopefully find some help and support from... well, strangers I suppose.
I hope that I posted this properly.
Some background... I'm 23 and I've been on 15mg of roxy/oxycodone, 4 times a day for about 2 years now and then 3 years before that. The first time I quit cold turkey it was relatively easy, minus the RLS and the 'want'. The fact that I was pregnant may have also helped. I am in pain almost 24/7, hence the addiction, but now after realizing that no doctor in my area has any desire to keep up my scripts, and being so tired of worrying if I will have 'enough' for tomorrow, I WANT to quit. It is such a nerve-wracking habit to have, but I am quite literally terrified of the withdrawls. In the past I have missed a dose or two, getting a tiny taste of the ever-so-enjoyable need, and in turn, realizing just how bad I have gotten vs before I could go a day without a dose and didn't really crave them the way I do now. As of now, I find myself constantly checking the clock to see if I can dose yet, its pretty sad actually.
Anyway, getting to the present. My pain management dr prescribed me gabapentin and sulindac for my pain. While researching side effects of these meds I (accidentally) discovered that apparently gaba is extremely beneficial to people quitting opiates and can eliminate withdrawl effects completely. I am wondering if anyone here had any experience with this and can advise me on whether or not this actually works and what to expect. I am also seeking dosage info as I was scripted 300mg 3x a day but after a bit of research I've noticed most people are using about 1200mg 4x daily to benefit. (I'm only about 110lbs, if that helps) I am also prescribed .5 Xanax for my PTSD and panic disorder and I am wondering if I should put this to use as well? Currently I use as needed for the attacks, which are maybe once a week, depending.
Thank you in advance for your help, advice and support. It is greatly appreciated. I am not so confident but very sure.

 

[wanting]

I understand exactly what you're talking about. I had prescriptions for hydrocodone for four years, but in the last year they started to lose effectiveness, so I decided to take more than prescribed. The worry and panic over pills was not fun. I also decided that I wanted to get off them. I told my prescribing doctor, and he wrote prescriptions for several supportive medications that lessened the effects of withdrawal--clonazepam, clonidine, hydroxyzine. Imodium over the counter. No medication took away the crushing fatigue, though.

Is it possible to do a slow taper off the medications you have? Can you talk with your doctor about helping you get through withdrawals? I don't think it's a good idea to start messing with the dosages of your other prescribed medications. If you want to quit, you can do it. Withdrawals are temporary...sober is forever.

 

[edgewise1]

Another great drug to help come off opiates is lyrica aka pregablin. It is also addictive so a quick taper would be beneficial. This is a C5 drug and 4-5 times stronger than gabapentin, from reports
I have read. Maybe your doctor will prescribe this? Do a search for lyrica and withdrawals.

 

[Granite]

Hey, kinlee.

Can't speak from personal experience, but watched a friend clean himself up on the exact same habit you have -- Roxy's about 6-30mg/day for 4 years or so. Just wanted to share with you some things I think are key details to his success.

- He tried to do it himself, and failed. Once he checked himself into a rehab, they were able to give him the necessary medications to help his withdrawal. He also said how important it was to have a place that was secluded from the outside while getting clean and being surrounded by people who can support him.

- He got involved in NA until he was able to keep himself afloat.

- The pain you mentioned, as you probably know, is your withdrawal pain. He had the same attitude about it; being scared to face the pain and it stopped him from being able to complete his rehab until he was able to get past that and into a facility that would manage it for him. Trying to get clean is mentally draining enough, let other people worry about managing your pain during detox if that's a big part of why you can't get clean. For him, he had to accept that he needed outside help getting clean. It was hard for his pride to accept it, but once he did everything went smooth.

Some words of advice: Don't be afraid of pain. No feeling or emotion is permanent. Everything is fleeting and temporary. People do drugs to try to sustain a happy feeling forever, but fail to realize you cannot have happiness without sadness. You need both emotions to know what either is. So let pain and sadness be apart of your life sometimes, so when you are happy, you really know you're happy.

Good luck