A little history:
I'm a 39 year old guy and my girlfriend and I got back together after a month separation, which was party time for both of us. For me, it was alcohol and for her, drugs. I cleaned up off alcohol and moved into a sober living house and made vast improvements in my life. Sadly, I did most of the cleaning up and changing to show her how much I love her and left sober living and moved back into the house my girlfriend and I shared for a year. She had been on methadone and financial problems prevented her from going so she got sick. I offered to get her something to help (Dilaudid) and she was taking it IV and I didn't know. When I found out, my irrational self thought, why not join her!? Then the nightmare began...
We did pills for a month and heroin a few times, using together and generally having a good time. Then the money ran out. I did pills years ago and didn't get too bad, but this time, right now, it isn't too much fun. I'm off and on with being sick. My girlfriend however, went back to the methadone program and is fine. It's like she did the pills with me, stopped when the money ran out and had her methadone to lean on while I had nothing. I've had to get pills to try to be well so I could work and function. Needless to say, now that I am ill and she is fine, we are fighting very bad. This all happened in about a 4 day span where it went from 0 to 60 in a hot flash.
I'm noticing she is distant, more aggressive in our arguments, refuses me physical affection stating "the stress is a lot with everything and she doesn't feel like being affectionate." She kisses me, leaves me notes and tells me she loves me, but no physical affection and we argue about it fiercely. I'm also noticing her nodding out at night which I believe is from the methadone and working long hours. I do not like this side if her and hope it's adjustment to being back on methadone.
As for me, no Dilaudid in almost to 2 days, I am doing 24mg of Loperamide (6 pills twice daily) just so I can work and tonight I took Codeine Effervescent Tabs, 30mg. I feel okay as I've been drinking Powerade, taking vitamins and trying to rest when possible. The physical is okay at this point. The mental/emotional is driving me crazy. With the situation amongst my girlfriend and I, I feel she left me hanging and despite my pleas for physical comfort, I'm getting nowhere in that category. She keeps telling me that since I only used about 16mg a day for a month, it will be over soon for me whereas for her, she's been an addict for 15 years and needs the methadone because her situation is so much different than mine. Again, I feel like her having methadone is her way of not having to go through W/D's while I have to tough it out. I'm getting resentful, I feel .
Maybe it is a blessing it was only a month of use and will be over soon, the fact is, I feel like I have to do this alone while my girlfriend just coasts through and the fighting just continues.
Thank you for letting me vent and I apologize if this was a disjointed post. I tried to include relevant information and I could use some feedback from both sexes. I love her and I know she loves me but this withdrawal and emotional torture is really throwing me for a loop.
For the record, I don't want to start on methadone as what I'm reading, it doesn't seem fitting for me. I don't want to add anything extreme, methadone or subutex, and just want this over. Thanks.
I'm a 39 year old guy and my girlfriend and I got back together after a month separation, which was party time for both of us. For me, it was alcohol and for her, drugs. I cleaned up off alcohol and moved into a sober living house and made vast improvements in my life. Sadly, I did most of the cleaning up and changing to show her how much I love her and left sober living and moved back into the house my girlfriend and I shared for a year. She had been on methadone and financial problems prevented her from going so she got sick. I offered to get her something to help (Dilaudid) and she was taking it IV and I didn't know. When I found out, my irrational self thought, why not join her!? Then the nightmare began...
We did pills for a month and heroin a few times, using together and generally having a good time. Then the money ran out. I did pills years ago and didn't get too bad, but this time, right now, it isn't too much fun. I'm off and on with being sick. My girlfriend however, went back to the methadone program and is fine. It's like she did the pills with me, stopped when the money ran out and had her methadone to lean on while I had nothing. I've had to get pills to try to be well so I could work and function. Needless to say, now that I am ill and she is fine, we are fighting very bad. This all happened in about a 4 day span where it went from 0 to 60 in a hot flash.
I'm noticing she is distant, more aggressive in our arguments, refuses me physical affection stating "the stress is a lot with everything and she doesn't feel like being affectionate." She kisses me, leaves me notes and tells me she loves me, but no physical affection and we argue about it fiercely. I'm also noticing her nodding out at night which I believe is from the methadone and working long hours. I do not like this side if her and hope it's adjustment to being back on methadone.
As for me, no Dilaudid in almost to 2 days, I am doing 24mg of Loperamide (6 pills twice daily) just so I can work and tonight I took Codeine Effervescent Tabs, 30mg. I feel okay as I've been drinking Powerade, taking vitamins and trying to rest when possible. The physical is okay at this point. The mental/emotional is driving me crazy. With the situation amongst my girlfriend and I, I feel she left me hanging and despite my pleas for physical comfort, I'm getting nowhere in that category. She keeps telling me that since I only used about 16mg a day for a month, it will be over soon for me whereas for her, she's been an addict for 15 years and needs the methadone because her situation is so much different than mine. Again, I feel like her having methadone is her way of not having to go through W/D's while I have to tough it out. I'm getting resentful, I feel .
Maybe it is a blessing it was only a month of use and will be over soon, the fact is, I feel like I have to do this alone while my girlfriend just coasts through and the fighting just continues.
Thank you for letting me vent and I apologize if this was a disjointed post. I tried to include relevant information and I could use some feedback from both sexes. I love her and I know she loves me but this withdrawal and emotional torture is really throwing me for a loop.
For the record, I don't want to start on methadone as what I'm reading, it doesn't seem fitting for me. I don't want to add anything extreme, methadone or subutex, and just want this over. Thanks.
