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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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I wake up every morning regretting my lofe choices that lead me here. I'm emotionally blunted. In the grand scheme of things I'm alot better then when I started. The akathisia stopping has been the best.
 
paranoid android said:
Thats kinda hard in todays rental market though.
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in some areas it's really tough to just live on your own... like to afford the rent at most places a person has to work two jobs, especially if they want to have a car, and public transportation doesn't really run every where, so if it's snowing and what not, you kind of need a car... it's actually really rough to just live on your own.. i know some people that rent out houses with their friends and will have a ton of people living in once house and share cars to cut down on rent, but a lot of landlords really aren't down with that... i'm luck on disability, hopefully i can stay on it, but they give housing discounts in my state of america and it's a lot cheaper than normal apartments and i don't have to share a bathroom or anything like at places that aren't even as cheap. all the lowest income apartments are shared bathroom that i see. idk... it's definitely rough if someone can't get an education and has to work low paying jobs.
 
about the poster youwillrecover kind of loosing it.

i hope i didn't influence them to write all that bad stuff. i wrote that suicide boys and some other rappers express violence as a form of therapy and they aren't actually violent people... idk what that really was.. i hope i didn't have any influence on that.. again idk. i feel like i might've had him consciously or unconsciously start doing that... a few pages ago he was saying suicide boys are terrible or rather low vibration cause they have raps about how people should kill themselves and i was saying it's not literal it's just expression... i actually googled suicide boys and they actually promote people seek therapy and what not.. they also have some immature stuff about them about how they had a suicide pact if they didn't get famous. sounds dumb, but i knew they'd be saying that they were anti-suicide or whatever and just relating to how they felt bad or angry.

idk what was going on with that poster, rapping is kind of different than posting in a thread that's mostly people talking literally.. i don't know if that's why that person got confused . i think that poster might be very highly influenced by stuff whether it's something that happens consciously or unconsciously... idk.. i don't want to make fun of them, but if they are reading this, people that are all over the place with their thoughts and emotions often are forced by doctors and their families to take anti-psychotics... a lot of stuff is hard for people to understand. maybe they should take into consideration that they might be acting out and confusing people. they said they'd never hurt anybody, but what they were typing is concerning. i'm really not sure what to say... you got to be careful what you say, and even harming someone that you think is guilty of being wrong like they are expressing approval of luigi mangione, i really don't think that it's the right thing. i actually wrote my thoughts about this in this thread, and peope seem to think luigi mangione was cool... i don't know... you're just gonna get yourself locked up and tortured if you do something that society deems wrong and is probably not the right thing. it won't proove anything and you'll just end up in a bad place.. it sounds like the person is experiencing a lot of ups and downs... just roll with it when you experience inner peace and try to stay on that path.. i feel like poster youwillrecover wants to be positive. they are just all over the place... hopefully everything goes okay for them... what they typed is definitely concerning. i might talk with a therapist. they don't always force people to take meds. maybe talking to someone profesionally will help you find some better coping strategies than going to such extremes.. i feel bad with whatever is going on with anyone in this thread.
 
foodcrisis said:
about the poster youwillrecover kind of loosing it.

i hope i didn't influence them to write all that bad stuff. i wrote that suicide boys and some other rappers express violence as a form of therapy and they aren't actually violent people... idk what that really was.. i hope i didn't have any influence on that.. again idk. i feel like i might've had him consciously or unconsciously start doing that... a few pages ago he was saying suicide boys are terrible or rather low vibration cause they have raps about how people should kill themselves and i was saying it's not literal it's just expression... i actually googled suicide boys and they actually promote people seek therapy and what not.. they also have some immature stuff about them about how they had a suicide pact if they didn't get famous. sounds dumb, but i knew they'd be saying that they were anti-suicide or whatever and just relating to how they felt bad or angry.
Click to expand...
i've been listening to suicideboys for a while now and they have tons of positive messages in their songs. the track 'the number you have dialed is not in service' is basically an anti-suicide song, with the last lyrics being: 'when life gets hard, keep on marching on. even if the finish line is far or you have to push the car, keep on marching on.'
i listen to artists he would definitely call terrible and low vibration yet i'm recovering at a rapid pace. sorry but god has nothing to do with this at least for me.
 
foodcrisis said:
about the poster youwillrecover kind of loosing it.

i hope i didn't influence them to write all that bad stuff. i wrote that suicide boys and some other rappers express violence as a form of therapy and they aren't actually violent people... idk what that really was.. i hope i didn't have any influence on that.. again idk. i feel like i might've had him consciously or unconsciously start doing that... a few pages ago he was saying suicide boys are terrible or rather low vibration cause they have raps about how people should kill themselves and i was saying it's not literal it's just expression... i actually googled suicide boys and they actually promote people seek therapy and what not.. they also have some immature stuff about them about how they had a suicide pact if they didn't get famous. sounds dumb, but i knew they'd be saying that they were anti-suicide or whatever and just relating to how they felt bad or angry.

idk what was going on with that poster, rapping is kind of different than posting in a thread that's mostly people talking literally.. i don't know if that's why that person got confused . i think that poster might be very highly influenced by stuff whether it's something that happens consciously or unconsciously... idk.. i don't want to make fun of them, but if they are reading this, people that are all over the place with their thoughts and emotions often are forced by doctors and their families to take anti-psychotics... a lot of stuff is hard for people to understand. maybe they should take into consideration that they might be acting out and confusing people. they said they'd never hurt anybody, but what they were typing is concerning. i'm really not sure what to say... you got to be careful what you say, and even harming someone that you think is guilty of being wrong like they are expressing approval of luigi mangione, i really don't think that it's the right thing. i actually wrote my thoughts about this in this thread, and peope seem to think luigi mangione was cool... i don't know... you're just gonna get yourself locked up and tortured if you do something that society deems wrong and is probably not the right thing. it won't proove anything and you'll just end up in a bad place.. it sounds like the person is experiencing a lot of ups and downs... just roll with it when you experience inner peace and try to stay on that path.. i feel like poster youwillrecover wants to be positive. they are just all over the place... hopefully everything goes okay for them... what they typed is definitely concerning. i might talk with a therapist. they don't always force people to take meds. maybe talking to someone profesionally will help you find some better coping strategies than going to such extremes.. i feel bad with whatever is going on with anyone in this thread.
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That kind of changes how I look at that. His homophobia leaves a bad taste in my mouth so he's still on my shit list.
 
IOSIP said:
I wake up every morning regretting my lofe choices that lead me here. I'm emotionally blunted. In the grand scheme of things I'm alot better then when I started. The akathisia stopping has been the best.
Click to expand...
I just think about how painful it is to live on this planet as human being.

Little pain.
Big pain.

I wasn’t that painful before
Having something to focus on
Blunting the pain from my reality

Now invega wakes me up
To real world.

Buddha once said
This world is the ocean of pain.

I get the meaning now
More than I used to.

All my obsession about life
Has gone.

I want to vanish from this world.
I am not attached to any kind of
Enjoyment on this planet.

I would rather be eternal peace
And eternal darkness.

All the hope is gone.
I will certainly die and
The known world will vanish as well.

I always seek the meaning of life.
Now I know it was just a dream.
A mere mirage.
A fantasy.

There are so many gurus.
Fake gurus.
When only true guru is
Death.
Darkness.
Corpse.
Silence.
Emptiness.

All wanting for money.
All wanting to survive.

Please kill me swiftly.
So I don’t have to feel this pain again.

True god makes you lose
Everything.
Everything you have in your hand.
So you can be free.
So you no longer fear losing.
So you no longer fear loneliness.

The total darkness is your true guru.
Without words, teaches you
Everything you need to know.

Invega silencing everything
Taking away all my belongings.
It was gods gift.
Gods true medicine.
 
Guys I am so bored of tik toks. I'm such a shell of my former self though. I am filled with self loathing. Went from earning 140k to having a manic episode getting locked up for a psychotic episode.

Now I'm at home with my dad unemployed spend my days watching tik toks. How fuxking pathetic am I. I really don't want to be alive. But I'm to much of a pussy to kill myself.

I've ruined my life.
 
wbga said:
I just think about how painful it is to live on this planet as human being.

Little pain.
Big pain.

I wasn’t that painful before
Having something to focus on
Blunting the pain from my reality

Now invega wakes me up
To real world.

Buddha once said
This world is the ocean of pain.

I get the meaning now
More than I used to.

All my obsession about life
Has gone.

I want to vanish from this world.
I am not attached to any kind of
Enjoyment on this planet.

I would rather be eternal peace
And eternal darkness.

All the hope is gone.
I will certainly die and
The known world will vanish as well.

I always seek the meaning of life.
Now I know it was just a dream.
A mere mirage.
A fantasy.

There are so many gurus.
Fake gurus.
When only true guru is
Death.
Darkness.
Corpse.
Silence.
Emptiness.

All wanting for money.
All wanting to survive.

Please kill me swiftly.
So I don’t have to feel this pain again.

True god makes you lose
Everything.
Everything you have in your hand.
So you can be free.
So you no longer fear losing.
So you no longer fear loneliness.

The total darkness is your true guru.
Without words, teaches you
Everything you need to know.

Invega silencing everything
Taking away all my belongings.
It was gods gift.
Gods true medicine.
Click to expand...
This was a good read. I feel your pain. I've ruined my life so bad. I feel like such a fucking loser. I don't know how to turn it around from here.
 
IOSIP said:
Guys I am so bored of tik toks. I'm such a shell of my former self though. I am filled with self loathing. Went from earning 140k to having a manic episode getting locked up for a psychotic episode.

Now I'm at home with my dad unemployed spend my days watching tik toks. How fuxking pathetic am I. I really don't want to be alive. But I'm to much of a pussy to kill myself.

I've ruined my life.
Click to expand...
I feel you.

I definitely ruined my life.

Do I regret?

yes.

but I have to stop.

I can't go back.

I try to numb my pain through spiritual teachings.

That's all I can do now.

Nothing can give me relief.

It is like burning pain.

Mentally. Physically.


All meanings gone.

Now so empty.

I have to just adopt to this painful reality.
 
destroylonely said:
i've been listening to suicideboys for a while now and they have tons of positive messages in their songs. the track 'the number you have dialed is not in service' is basically an anti-suicide song, with the last lyrics being: 'when life gets hard, keep on marching on. even if the finish line is far or you have to push the car, keep on marching on.'
i listen to artists he would definitely call terrible and low vibration yet i'm recovering at a rapid pace. sorry but god has nothing to do with this at least for me.
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fuck suicide boys and shame on you for not giving God credit for healing, dumbass retard.
 
TonyTonyChopper said:
There is only one God and its the abrahamic God. Any other idea of God is false and should be totally abandoned.
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Lol and if you were born into a Christian household you would claim it to be the one true God. People are so irrational when it comes to religion.
 
IOSIP said:
Lol and if you were born into a Christian household you would claim it to be the one true God. People are so irrational when it comes to religion.
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Christianity worships a man who never claimed to be God 😂😂😂 . He was sent by God like others before him. These are just my opinions and im not forcing it on anyone.
 
TonyTonyChopper said:
Christianity worships a man who never claimed to be God 😂😂😂 . He was sent by God like others before him. These are just my opinions and im not forcing it on anyone.
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I'm not a Christian I'm just pointing out how silly it is that anybody has the answers to who God is. There are so many religions across the world. It's insane.
 
TonyTonyChopper said:
There is only one God and its the abrahamic God. Any other idea of God is false and should be totally abandoned.
Click to expand...
How others are false and you are right?

I just want you to educate me about your god.

If it sounds good I can be muslim too.

What makes you believe he will heal you?
 
IOSIP said:
I'm not a Christian I'm just pointing out how silly it is that anybody has the answers to who God is. There are so many religions across the world. It's insane.
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Everyone might have their own religion and view of who God is but you gotta use ur brain to filter out which one is real. God gave us a brain for a reason to distinguish truth from false hood. Can God be a man as the christians would have you believe ? LOL never , God can never take on human form. Can God be an elephant or whatever the fck hindus believe in ? Never. Islam and Judaism have the correct view of God but I recommend following islam because it is sent for all of man kind.
 
wbga said:
How others are false and you are right?

I just want you to educate me about your god.

If it sounds good I can be muslim too.

What makes you believe he will heal you?
Click to expand...
Im not a scholar idk deeply about my religion just the basics but I'm convinced without a shadow of a doubt that it is the truth. Christianity and judaism have some truth in them but if im betting my salvation on the line id wanna follow the correct one which is Islam . Just learn about it bro im not here to convince you just read the quran and the story about the prophet muhammad .

Yes anyone can be a muslim matter fact you were muslim before, the prophet says everyone is born a muslim but their families make them into jews, christians , hindus or athiests.

I just believe from life experiences that it is the truth and i will die believing it is the truth.
 
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