Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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Week12
==============================================================
I received two injections of paliperidone (250mg and 150mg), with the last one being 3 months ago.

Here are the symptoms I’ve experienced:

- Akathisia (lasted for 1 month)

- Panic disorder (lasted for 1 month)

- Shortness of breath (was severe for the first month but is improving)

- Weight gain of 10kg

- Loss of libido (about 20% recovery after 3 months)

- Inability to think logically (gradually improving)

- Difficulty forming sentences (gradually improving)

- Anxiety about the future (still ongoing)

- Loss of interest in everything (still ongoing)

I lost the intensity of interest in everything I loved before but everything religious or spiritual has been lost and I feel only "realistic" way.

I got recovered from severe awkwardness of social events and I can make people laugh and socialize again which I lost until 2 months after I got the last shot, but my social skill is not 100% recovered and I would say it is around 50% recovered.

I didn't really have difficulty enjoying food or music but looking at women (even naked women) I see only flesh which is no different than watching at men's body.

I can masturbate but the problem is I have to be trying hard to feel horny and ejaculate.

I watch youtube and movies like pre invega shots but I can't focus fully, but this is also getting better every month. I couldn't even sit still in the first two months and concentrate for 5 mins. I didn't feel any interest for anything back then but now I feel 70-80% interest back.

Overall, compared to other people's recovery timeline, I am experiencing much faster recovery.

Just the fact that I am not quite the person I used to be, irritates me a lot. Especially the less libido.

I couldn't read, watch tv, play game for even 3 mins but now I can focus even hours which is normal for me, but I don't feel as interested as before.

I believe I can fully recover in one year.
 
I never heard of the sub genre experimental hip hop. Sounds interesting. For Hip Hop I know some songs. Try hearing the song called Baby, I'm back - Baby Bash ft. Akon. Let me know what you know what you think?
Yeah that's not bad
I like classic hip hop more.
Check out Baby I'm Bleeding by JPEGMAFIA
 
Week12
==============================================================
I received two injections of paliperidone (250mg and 150mg), with the last one being 3 months ago.

Here are the symptoms I’ve experienced:

- Akathisia (lasted for 1 month)

- Panic disorder (lasted for 1 month)

- Shortness of breath (was severe for the first month but is improving)

- Weight gain of 10kg

- Loss of libido (about 20% recovery after 3 months)

- Inability to think logically (gradually improving)

- Difficulty forming sentences (gradually improving)

- Anxiety about the future (still ongoing)

- Loss of interest in everything (still ongoing)

I lost the intensity of interest in everything I loved before but everything religious or spiritual has been lost and I feel only "realistic" way.

I got recovered from severe awkwardness of social events and I can make people laugh and socialize again which I lost until 2 months after I got the last shot, but my social skill is not 100% recovered and I would say it is around 50% recovered.

I didn't really have difficulty enjoying food or music but looking at women (even naked women) I see only flesh which is no different than watching at men's body.

I can masturbate but the problem is I have to be trying hard to feel horny and ejaculate.

I watch youtube and movies like pre invega shots but I can't focus fully, but this is also getting better every month. I couldn't even sit still in the first two months and concentrate for 5 mins. I didn't feel any interest for anything back then but now I feel 70-80% interest back.

Overall, compared to other people's recovery timeline, I am experiencing much faster recovery.

Just the fact that I am not quite the person I used to be, irritates me a lot. Especially the less libido.

I couldn't read, watch tv, play game for even 3 mins but now I can focus even hours which is normal for me, but I don't feel as interested as before.

I believe I can fully recover in one year.
Have hope, recovery is definitely possible. Take the small improvements you are having as a sign of this
 
after drinking alcohol my anhedonia and sexual dysfunction is worsened will I recover I regret it so much
Alcohol is a depressant, it's probably just your standard reaction to alcohol felt through the lens of this experience on invega. I'm sure it won't affect your recovery as a one off incident.
 
Have hope, recovery is definitely possible. Take the small improvements you are having as a sign of this
Yes thank you.

I think trying to have positive hope is so much better than negative one.

When I read some of the negative posts here I screamed once thinking I would never recover but after reading posts of people who were here long time ago, I saw the possibility of 100% recovery.

I am also recovering very fast compared to first and second month.

I can finally communicate more and have decent conversations and some motivations to do something as well.

Next month I will be different again and I am thinking of leaving hopeful posts here so others can see and have some relief as I did.
 
I really wish I was able to see bluelight users
faces so I can have an idea of how everyone looks and feel less alone. We are all in this together!
 
I got better. Still need to heal. I no longer have pain which I had in the very beginning. My memory, libido, pleasure/motivation is what I'm still waiting for to comeback. I believe if we try hard enough and believe in God we can heal back to how we were.
Even though I am only in the 3 months phase, I believe that I can even become stronger and better having this kind of experience.

I still feel hard to get up from bed and hard to start anything that needs motivation but I got so much better already.
 
I wrote some poem
We are in the darkness but let's not be so scared by it.
It is one of many blessed experiences we can get from out life.

I don't know when I am going to change my mood and despair again
but right now I was in not bad mood.
I want to share I could write poem after 3 months.

==========================
We all die.
Is that sad?
Not really.

Since we are born,
death is only natural.

Born once,
and die once—
that is the way of things,
and there’s no reason to complain about it.

We die
and are reborn.

My soul has grown again,
having overcome difficult experiences.

Though there may be many pains,
I will not despair.
I will not tremble in fear.

It is because of these opportunities
that I am who I am now,
and because I am here now,
I have gained these valuable experiences.

I was born thinking I was the sun,
then thought I was the moon,
then became darkness,
only to be born again as a star.

Does the universe wish to teach us something?
Does it wish to impart knowledge
by giving us hope and pain?

At times, I thought I knew,
and then I didn’t know anymore.

In the end, I realized
that the universe was me.

That all those moments of pain and happiness
were, ultimately, me.

The dark solitude,
the joy I thought would always be bright—
all of it was me.

Death was but an illusion
to make me feel alive,
and life, a trick to conceal
that I am calmly still in death.

In the quiet of meditation,
amidst the bustling highs and lows of life,
I am the raven
that feels and breathes through it all.
 
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I wrote some poem
We are in the darkness but let's not be so scared by it.
It is one of many blessed experiences we can get from out life.

I don't know when I am going to change my mood and despair again
but right now I was in not bad mood.
I want to share I could write poem after 3 months.

==========================
We all die.
Is that sad?
Not really.

Since we are born,
death is only natural.

Born once,
and die once—
that is the way of things,
and there’s no reason to complain about it.

We die
and are reborn.

My soul has grown again,
having overcome difficult experiences.

Though there may be many pains,
I will not despair.
I will not tremble in fear.

It is because of these opportunities
that I am who I am now,
and because I am here now,
I have gained these valuable experiences.

I was born thinking I was the sun,
then thought I was the moon,
then became darkness,
only to be born again as a star.

Does the universe wish to teach us something?
Does it wish to impart knowledge
by giving us hope and pain?

At times, I thought I knew,
and then I didn’t know anymore.

In the end, I realized
that the universe was me.

That all those moments of pain and happiness
were, ultimately, me.

The dark solitude,
the joy I thought would always be bright—
all of it was me.

Death was but an illusion
to make me feel alive,
and life, a trick to conceal
that I am calmly still in death.

In the quiet of meditation,
amidst the bustling highs and lows of life,
I am the raven
that feels and breathes through it all.
Nice
 
Libido and Sexual function are different.

Libido:
Also known as sex drive, libido is the biological need for sexual activity. It can vary from person to person and over time, and is influenced by many factors including physical health, hormones, stress, anxiety, and lifestyle.

Sexual function:
Sexual function includes the ability to get and maintain an erection, ejaculate, and orgasm. Sexual dysfunction can occur during any phase of the sexual response cycle, and can include issues like painful sex, vaginal dryness, or difficulty reaching orgasm.
 
Libido and Sexual function are different.

Libido:
Also known as sex drive, libido is the biological need for sexual activity. It can vary from person to person and over time, and is influenced by many factors including physical health, hormones, stress, anxiety, and lifestyle.

Sexual function:
Sexual function includes the ability to get and maintain an erection, ejaculate, and orgasm. Sexual dysfunction can occur during any phase of the sexual response cycle, and can include issues like painful sex, vaginal dryness, or difficulty reaching orgasm.
In my case, it is less libido than sexual dysfunction.
 
I just want my pineal gland back. I’ve lost my connection to the “other worlds”.

I don’t want to be stuck in 3D forever. This is so bad.

“The pineal gland was commonly called the “third eye” for many reasons, including its location deep in the center of the brain and its connection to light via the circadian rhythm and melatonin secretion. Many spiritual traditions believe it serves as a connection between the physical and spiritual worlds.”
 
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