Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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Back to just not wanting to take anything for PSSD. I hope the emotional chaos indicates my estrogen levels are going up and will return to normal in the coming months. Gonna try to ride this out. Maybe I'll do another hormone panel in October after my next appointment with the gyno and take supplemental progesterone if I need it, I could still have low progesterone and that could be the problem.

I want PSSD to just be over. I want my sexuality back. I have pelvic floor therapy today after I wake up.
 
do the people who recover actually like life and see beauty in it again? i used to see life in a special way idk if i’ll ever experience that again..
 
I just messaged a YouTuber with thousands of views to share a story about how they were diagnosing me with ilness i dont have and forcing me with neurotoxic drugs. The whole Poland will hear about it
 
Today is the 3rd or 4th day in a row where I slept between 7-8 hours compared to my usual 12 hour sleep. I think my sleep schedule returning back to how it was pre-invega . I wonder if this begins the road of recovery for me since I'm about to hit 6 months in 3 days.
 
My biofeeback results showed that I improved. I no longer have hypertrophy too?? Just one session and doing kegals at home whenever. I might only do this for two months than the full four. I'll be really happy if this does anything to my libido or sensation, but I have my doubts about that. I somehow don't have hypertrophy anymore.
 
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My pelvic floor is no longer hypertonic after two sessions of biofeedback. I think I might see changes in sexual function after my next session, which is in two weeks unfortunately since my pelvic floor therapist is taking a break to scatter her dad's ashes. I'm going to keep doing the exercises and stretches at home.
 
do the people who recover actually like life and see beauty in it again? i used to see life in a special way idk if i’ll ever experience that again..
I do. I had several of the shots. I see beauty in life, but it's also been some time, so it's not the same sort of beauty, but I definitely think that I fit in more so now.
 
😭 how many shots, and how much time
I think it was three or four. Awful when on it for so many reasons. After I got off of it, I went on Abilify, which suited me much better. Took a while for me, but I basically got used to it, so now it's not so bad. I'm better off for being on it. Took maybe six months.
 
I'm starting to see the beauty in life!

I LOVE MY NIECE SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE I MISSED A YEAR OF HER LIFE AND SHE'S TALKING NOW HOLY SHIT! ToT

I didn't know toddlers were so funny. I have a shark plush and a dolphin plush (both souvenirs from places I went with my best friend) and I was trying to be kid friendly and I was like "The shark and the dolphin live in the ocean! They're neighbors, they're best friends!" So she takes the shark from me, puts its mouth on the dolphin and goes "Nom nom nom nom! Mmm yummy!" My dad told me they were watching Shark Week stuff together once so I guess she knows sharks eat dolphins??

I saw a big wolf spider in my kitchen. My niece likes spiders and I told her "You can't touch, it will bite. Just look." So she comes over, looks at the spider and says "Awww, cute!"

I hope I can be a parent some day.
 
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You will see me talk publicly about it!!! HAHAHAHHA
Hey I just wanted to tell you (and anyone else who might need this) that I signed up for vocational rehabilitation and I think you can do it too. I'm getting hooked up with a job agency that helps people with disabilities and mental illness. You could be eligible, they will help you find an easy job, maybe one you can walk or bike to. If you get diagnosed with CPTSD, it makes you eligible. Try to get your misdiagnosis removed too. You deserve independence from your shitty family, a job will help you get that. They can't stop you when you start making money.
 
Hey I just wanted to tell you (and anyone else who might need this) that I signed up for vocational rehabilitation and I think you can do it too. I'm getting hooked up with a job agency that helps people with disabilities and mental illness. You could be eligible, they will help you find an easy job, maybe one you can walk or bike to. If you get diagnosed with CPTSD, it makes you eligible. Try to get your misdiagnosis removed too. You deserve independence from your shitty family, a job will help you get that. They can't stop you when you start making money.
Hug sis
 
I do. I had several of the shots. I see beauty in life, but it's also been some time, so it's not the same sort of beauty, but I definitely think that I fit in more so now.

To be honest the psych ward changed me more then the antipsychotics did. But in some ways it was a positive change as now if im feeling down i just think back to when i was locked up and think of how anything is better then that shit. It changed my whole outlook and i no longer get depression either. Also having cotards syndrome and thinking i was dead also changed me alot.

Now my outlook is alot more positive overall. I am outside, free, have access to drugs and also exercise so why should i feel depressed? So in some ways it was in its own fucked up way a positive experience. I saw how bad humanity can be when i was locked up and it was fucked
 
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