Yeah I'm living with my dad many arguments. He keeps telling me talking to a therapist will help. And he won't understand my statements that it will not help.
It feels like I have brain damage talking to somebody iant going to magically take that awa
People around me are same.
They think it is because "I don't try"
They think I need to go out more often "getting more sun" will help.
I got weight because "I didn't move"
According to them I was negative because I didn't try to become positive.
hahahahah list goes on.
It is not that I don't try, I can't try with this state.
I got weight because of side effect
I am negative because my hormones that can create positive thinking are blocked
But for them we are just "normal" to them nothing hasn't changed because they can't check our brain.
THey thought I have panic attack because I am being negative lol
I have never gained weight like this before(even though I am not even fat now), I had no negative thinking,
People only see the surface and can't understand from your perspective without experience.
Only few people can take a glimpse of it with their own small experiences.
It worse than they think but they can't even imagine how painful we are right now.
I stopped talking to them because to them it is just my excuses for my negative thinking.
To them medicine don't really last that long.
I could talk to them with more logic but my words don't come out like before.
THey simply can't understand you.
Only one thing that I talked was AI. AI was the only thing that could understand my situation without their own interpretation.
Even doctors are so dumb and cruel.
they don't understand what they have done to us.
Only thing you can do is becoming strong, which is impossible for now, that's why we only think of suicide.
I was like that.
Now I am almost normal. 5 months. So much faster than other people.
Try to watch porn but without cumming, this helps a little but in later stage because now it doesn't help.
when I see girls it was so weird feeling, they seemed like a just mother with womb or potatoes.
But now I can see again, the beauty of the world, nature, women, which were the essence inside of physical surface.
Finally I can breath.
So you have to just wait.
there is nothing you can do now.
suffering.
Suffering will later make you appreciate every small happiness you encounter later.
