It's my 8 (or 9?) month anniversary today. I feel like my recovery has been ruined by PSSD, or at least seriously set back. I feel like this is more of a serious and lasting issue than invega ever was.
Do not listen to the people who say invega gave you permanent brain damage from two shots. I tried an SSRI thinking it would help me grow more braincells and new serotonin receptors (LMAO, it actually does the opposite and I'm an idiot).
I still have anhedonia I managed to avoid when I had invega. I have a low level of sexual sensitivity and function that comes and goes, nowhere close to the perfect and extremely reliable function I had before, very far from the always present libido I had before. I have even more severe emotional blunting than invega gave me. My creativity is dead. I'm suffering immensely from a different problem now.
What I do have is my intelligence and ability to communicate. I do have new problems with memory and recall, but that's about it. You will get your intelligence back, it did not make you dumber permanently. That's all the good I have to say.
I'll leave you all with a song again. I think this will be my last post here. I'm so sad I won't recover cleanly or easily. I thought I had the answers, I thought what I was doing was going to help me and I was so, so wrong.
I think this is how a lot of your are feeling, this song is for you. I'm so happy to see other people spring back to life. This song means a lot to me, it was with me when my parents were verbally abusing me and when I was sick from ulcerative colitis. I would dream of running off with my best friend. It made me have hope for the future. It kind of hurts to listen to it now.