I’m exactly the same, I get fully numb in body and can’t catch sleep at all afternoon, that’s why my only option is to die idc anymore
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Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 12
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dopamineClippedAngel
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Averaging ~3-4 hours of sleep the past few days. My sleep has been very disrupted since starting Invega, & I also had some sleep disruption related to psychosis. I think the sleep disruption from psychosis is no longer present & I am now struggling with sleeplessness from the Invega, as that had already started to resolve prior to my first injection. Interestingly enough, I feel mentally tired but not physically tired at all. I no longer get a "tired" feeling and have to just put myself to bed. I take much longer to fall asleep. My sleep has felt particularly shallow these past few days, like I'm barely entering it & am still awake. I keep yawning but I still can't sleep. I have been prescribed zopiclone for sleep but I'd rather not take it and see if I can get back to where I was, when I was regularly getting 8-9 hours of admittedly poor sleep. This, at least, was better. I empathize with all expressing issues with sleep right now. The lack of sleep is starting to get to me. @moerez Do you think perhaps some of your despair is from sheer sleeplessness? Sleep deprivation is used for torture. That may be a big part of why things are so awful right now.
Also going to try to lose this Invega weight as I have little else to do. It's not all bad news- I've also had some improvements. It's a little easier to pass the time and stay engaged in tasks. I find myself able to let some hours slip by without looking at the clock, which was impossible earlier in my journey. I'm having a little more interest in things. I still can't sit & read a book cover to cover like I'm used to, but I'm able to plow through a couple chapters at a time. I've finished four books since October (first shot), which is slow for me... but better than nothing. I had lost about 5kg but but I'm ready to lose more and get back to the weight I was when this all started. Based on what I'm read I am now cautiously optimistic for a recovery that will take less than a year. I seem to be in a decent place relative to how long it was since my last jab.
Strength & resilience to all. Xx
Also going to try to lose this Invega weight as I have little else to do. It's not all bad news- I've also had some improvements. It's a little easier to pass the time and stay engaged in tasks. I find myself able to let some hours slip by without looking at the clock, which was impossible earlier in my journey. I'm having a little more interest in things. I still can't sit & read a book cover to cover like I'm used to, but I'm able to plow through a couple chapters at a time. I've finished four books since October (first shot), which is slow for me... but better than nothing. I had lost about 5kg but but I'm ready to lose more and get back to the weight I was when this all started. Based on what I'm read I am now cautiously optimistic for a recovery that will take less than a year. I seem to be in a decent place relative to how long it was since my last jab.
Strength & resilience to all. Xx
Deleted member 592205
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The whole point of people not recovering for so long (months, years) it’s because the brain heal when we fall into deep sleep, and since these injections prevent this to happen, the healing process won’t start or will only very softly happen in the very long run (years).
I bet my life that if we could put ourselves into a sort of semi-coma or deep sleep for 1 week, we will wake up almost 100% recovered.
The brain need to be fucking shut up into a deep sleep to recover, that deep sleep I had before the injections, since i dont sleep properly after the injections i have all chain-effects of sleep deprivation on top of non recovering in almost 20 months (as memory problems, altered state of consciousness, cognitive impairment).
These injections deprive some of us of the natural perception of tiredness, this mean our brain don’t feel tired enough to fall into deep sleep and this is the whole point.
As i said i bet my life if they could put me into a deep seleep like coma, i would wake up after a week or two completely recovered.
Deleted member 592205
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If I hit 24 months on the same boat as now, i will ask for very powerfoul sleep pills at very high dose, i’am already looking for the lastest produced sleeping drugs and i will try them if i don’t recover in the next 4 months
Yes sleep is the crucial part that makes me crazy , all I want is good sleep but man come on, I have severe anhedonia, sexual dysfunction, insomnia , akathisia, and blankness of mind, I never ever gonna live like that, I’m going to end it this week and I hope y’all make it through your journey but I gave up, I tried and lost the battle, fuck me im kinda weak I guess idk but I don’t wanna live like that anymore
dopamineClippedAngel
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It seems the recent tragedies have encouraged rather than dissuaded you from going this route. Even everything paranoid android had to say didn't make a difference... I get it. You don't want to live like this anymore. You have a family, dude. There's people who would be grieving the shitstorm you left behind. It's worth it to at least see if you recover in a year or so, because you can always die man. Death is always gonna be there as an option but once you do it there's no way to come back from it. You might be throwing away a perfectly good fucking life just because you have no patience and cannot wait. There's still joy and pleasure to be found in things if you look. This pessimism somewhat repels me.
There are people getting their limbs amputated... having their brains actually surgically operated on... people losing their lives of course.... people conscious who will never be able to move or walk or laugh or jump or run again, living in paralyzed bodies .... There are far worse things that could happen, frankly, worse things than this. Also, people are telling you it may take a year to feel better and you'd rather die now because you THINK you won't feel better rather than waiting to see if you actually haven't recovered or not by then? If by 12 months you're feeling no improvement I understand feeling some despair, but this makes no sense when it's so common to feel like shit at the 6 month mark.
I'm trying to be empathetic, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I truly just don't get this and frankly, am observing that people who keep their brains active seem to do better than people who give in to the anhedonia totally. Those who stay involved in employment, or child-rearing, or education, or even just going outside and getting some exercise instead of just thinking "INVEGA INVEGA INVEGA" recover quicker. This is probably linked to neuroplasticity, and the fact that your brain is still producing dopamine ... the receptors are just not taking up as much of it because it's a dopamine blocker. But if you don't do very much to generate dopaminergic activity, this is becoming under-exercised and underused.
I'm very disappointed in the mods because this is going to be just another suicide as these people have been allowed to fester and rot and roll around and wallow in this mindset to lethal degrees. Hell at some point giving each other tips on when and how to do it & validating this decision amongst each other for themselves. This drug is bad but death is obviously worse. This drug is bad but obviously we still have agency and control over what we do. Hell, @Abilify2mg isn't better after years but just landed a solid job. At what point do you say okay, well.. I have this one life so I have to live it? People need to be muted if they're going to be talking about killing themselves over this because people are dying. How many idiots have to off themselves for this to be stopped ??? Lmfao
You say that because you already have interest in some stuff to kill your time after 3 months, I have been trying everything in past 6 months and nothing worked, exercise to make my self tired, going for walk, doing anything you say, I also had erection which I lost it totally a month ago because of 2 Prozac pills, I know we only have one chance to live but do you understand when you have no interest in anything and anhedonia is killing you , how do you wanna keep up 6 more months? When you can’t sleep at night and you always wake up tired what’s the point for being alive? I have a family who loves me and I love them but the pain is too much to just ignore the fact that I’m fucked mentally and in brain and it’s not recoverable you know why? Because many people feel better at 6 months mark and I only had two shots, and I still feel like shit despite of exercise that I do and all the things I do I still know that I never be that person who used to laugh all the time and be happy like before, I just have to live like a person who is sick in brain, I would wait for sure if I had something that I could be entertained with or something that I can say it got better , this drug just fucked us up and also psychosis, I don’t even remember the day before and what I did my memory is like a 80 year old guy when I used to have a great memory, I’m pretty sure you don’t suffer as much as I suffer and that’s why you are optimistic about it, have you lost your erection totally? Imagine living without penis or do you have mental akathesia ? That you pace all the time ? For sure you don’t and that’s why you won’t understand the pain each person goes through
I’m pretty sure lukeflowz was in mental prison that couldn’t do anything about it so he just went for a peace, some of us had a great life before this and when I remind my self what I was before and what I am now, I just can’t handle it man
lolis my thesis
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Disclaimer; I have not had Invega and I am sorry you feel like your life sucks. But Man I have the memory of an 80 year old. I have/had akathesia, damn infuriating. I had a cervical disc replaced with an artificial one and also another one that is fused. I spent 3 years in a surgical collar, not able to turn my head or look up. But it's not so bad as that now and I had no idea I would ever improve even a little. Change someday even without any drastic action on my part; yes sometimes for the worse.
The akasthesia was/is from GABA drugs like clonazepam and pregabalin; plus some syndrome that has been called fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Ehler Danos Syndrome or whatever. Professionals have told me I am FFL (fucked for life). Every doctor eventually throws up their hands and just tries to ween me off of drugs. The only thing that gives me pleasure, no thanks.
Scorn abounds and at the pharmacy they lecture me, at 57 my prospects of finding a sex partner seems less and less But my dick woke up finally after a few years; go figure; however I tore biceps tendons in both arms so now my dick is alive but I can't even masturbate(like I used to). I have lived knowing that my dogs would eat me before being found, no doubt dick first as they enjoy mushrooms. I have 0 teeth. Also a broken wrist that wont heal for the past 3 years; painful screws coming out of my ankle from hardware dating back to 2006. Will it ever get better? I know only that things will change for better and also for worse, but knowing that I feel no need to rush thIngs. Im so fucked up its kinda funny to me rather than portraying a tragic figure.
I hope you stay alive man. You can use a computer and write coherently. YOU have helped me, expressing yourself, I hear you. As I wish to keep trying no matter the personal cost till the wheels fall off, I hope you do the same. Try it all before the final solution is my advice. Maybe something plus time will help change you; change will come to you no matter what. I had the opportunity to see my son good as dead and I got to try and revive with narcan and ability to dial 911 and do CPR(he lived) thanks to my knowledge and 4 extra mgs of narcan from the paramedics. Before they arrived, it hadn't been enough to see signs of life as I kept inflating him like a grey, then blue rubber raft, futility from the spawn of my fertility.
Lucky for paramedics who had more narcan so he lived; my extended family and myself have been saved the grief of losing him for now. All thanks to me, my drug addiction, and my resolute die-hardness to take opiods in spite of doctors telling me to man up, get off drugs, and pull my big boy pants on. Well my son would have died without my knowledge from Bluelight.
But for my own physical and psychological dilemma... Been hurting and dealing symptoms since 1998. Mostly everything has progressed; I'm exhausted and wake up exhausted. My wife with my teeth lost to an auto accident; then divorce from her burning out as my caregiver; and I have adult children. and 90 year old parents who I won't leave on purpose. I try very hard not to run out of meds; as it leads to insomnia and movement disorders such as akasthesia but I also abuse them. You mentioned trying pregabalin but then just want to chalk it up as yet another thing that don't work...at least for me it works in that it gets me high at least.
I can only imagine how you feel. I know you sleep (because you say you wake up). Exhausted or not. I take methadone for pain, clonazepam and pregabalin for my mood. Spent all my money on doctors and as hopeless as I have felt; I would leave a few people who would grieve me even if they keep me and my illness at arm's length. They don't understand or just think I'm a drug addict. Sometimes a week will go by without a text or call to my phone. I bought a jacuzzi that I cant use cuz extreme temps make me sicker...woe is poor me.
I used to be able to be a teacher, a surfer, an athlete. Exercise as well as confrontation now must be managed as too much stimulation just makes it worse.
So, yeah recently I stumbled upon substance that has helped a bit. AGOMELATINE; it not only allows me to fall asleep, but I also get some crazy dreams which means REM sleep has improved. and I am less tired and don't sleep until 3pm ATM. No teeth takes lots of fun out of eating; seems I have gone from young buck to old man in the blink of an eye. Cant surf anymore, but nobody surfs FOREVER. Now I skateboard for the thrill of it but falling or having fun for too long one day can set me back in a big way.
Have you exhausted everything short of everything under the sun? Tried and failed and tried again? How is your testosterone? What I hate is navigating the medical. Naturopath will take cash and tell me Im sick.She had me on hydrocortisone pills and they helped. But my insurance covered doc doesn't buy her angle so lifted me off the hydrocortisone. Which left me exhausted and sleeping till 3pm again. Surgeons are curt and dismissive saying I'm fine. Pharmacists are loathe to give me drugs. Yet I plod on and refuse to be pathetic; I accept I may not last forever, but things have sucked for me by varying degrees for 28 years. Im slowly getting better and I hope I do before I die of natural causes....
Your life has meaning to me, one who doesn't even know you, but I know you can write and arecommunicate while have akasthesia and anhedonia' so you have a superpower cuz I could not peck at my keyboard when I have those symptoms.
Things will change for you; I hope for the better. I enjoy my life in spite of myself; sometimes its just from taking drugs. I can't say things will ever be alright for u or myself but I hope you cope.
cant turn off underline but cheers there are others suffering with quality of life issues, Love from Oregon...
The akasthesia was/is from GABA drugs like clonazepam and pregabalin; plus some syndrome that has been called fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Ehler Danos Syndrome or whatever. Professionals have told me I am FFL (fucked for life). Every doctor eventually throws up their hands and just tries to ween me off of drugs. The only thing that gives me pleasure, no thanks.
Scorn abounds and at the pharmacy they lecture me, at 57 my prospects of finding a sex partner seems less and less But my dick woke up finally after a few years; go figure; however I tore biceps tendons in both arms so now my dick is alive but I can't even masturbate(like I used to). I have lived knowing that my dogs would eat me before being found, no doubt dick first as they enjoy mushrooms. I have 0 teeth. Also a broken wrist that wont heal for the past 3 years; painful screws coming out of my ankle from hardware dating back to 2006. Will it ever get better? I know only that things will change for better and also for worse, but knowing that I feel no need to rush thIngs. Im so fucked up its kinda funny to me rather than portraying a tragic figure.
I hope you stay alive man. You can use a computer and write coherently. YOU have helped me, expressing yourself, I hear you. As I wish to keep trying no matter the personal cost till the wheels fall off, I hope you do the same. Try it all before the final solution is my advice. Maybe something plus time will help change you; change will come to you no matter what. I had the opportunity to see my son good as dead and I got to try and revive with narcan and ability to dial 911 and do CPR(he lived) thanks to my knowledge and 4 extra mgs of narcan from the paramedics. Before they arrived, it hadn't been enough to see signs of life as I kept inflating him like a grey, then blue rubber raft, futility from the spawn of my fertility.
Lucky for paramedics who had more narcan so he lived; my extended family and myself have been saved the grief of losing him for now. All thanks to me, my drug addiction, and my resolute die-hardness to take opiods in spite of doctors telling me to man up, get off drugs, and pull my big boy pants on. Well my son would have died without my knowledge from Bluelight.
But for my own physical and psychological dilemma... Been hurting and dealing symptoms since 1998. Mostly everything has progressed; I'm exhausted and wake up exhausted. My wife with my teeth lost to an auto accident; then divorce from her burning out as my caregiver; and I have adult children. and 90 year old parents who I won't leave on purpose. I try very hard not to run out of meds; as it leads to insomnia and movement disorders such as akasthesia but I also abuse them. You mentioned trying pregabalin but then just want to chalk it up as yet another thing that don't work...at least for me it works in that it gets me high at least.
I can only imagine how you feel. I know you sleep (because you say you wake up). Exhausted or not. I take methadone for pain, clonazepam and pregabalin for my mood. Spent all my money on doctors and as hopeless as I have felt; I would leave a few people who would grieve me even if they keep me and my illness at arm's length. They don't understand or just think I'm a drug addict. Sometimes a week will go by without a text or call to my phone. I bought a jacuzzi that I cant use cuz extreme temps make me sicker...woe is poor me.
I used to be able to be a teacher, a surfer, an athlete. Exercise as well as confrontation now must be managed as too much stimulation just makes it worse.
So, yeah recently I stumbled upon substance that has helped a bit. AGOMELATINE; it not only allows me to fall asleep, but I also get some crazy dreams which means REM sleep has improved. and I am less tired and don't sleep until 3pm ATM. No teeth takes lots of fun out of eating; seems I have gone from young buck to old man in the blink of an eye. Cant surf anymore, but nobody surfs FOREVER. Now I skateboard for the thrill of it but falling or having fun for too long one day can set me back in a big way.
Have you exhausted everything short of everything under the sun? Tried and failed and tried again? How is your testosterone? What I hate is navigating the medical. Naturopath will take cash and tell me Im sick.She had me on hydrocortisone pills and they helped. But my insurance covered doc doesn't buy her angle so lifted me off the hydrocortisone. Which left me exhausted and sleeping till 3pm again. Surgeons are curt and dismissive saying I'm fine. Pharmacists are loathe to give me drugs. Yet I plod on and refuse to be pathetic; I accept I may not last forever, but things have sucked for me by varying degrees for 28 years. Im slowly getting better and I hope I do before I die of natural causes....
Your life has meaning to me, one who doesn't even know you, but I know you can write and arecommunicate while have akasthesia and anhedonia' so you have a superpower cuz I could not peck at my keyboard when I have those symptoms.
Things will change for you; I hope for the better. I enjoy my life in spite of myself; sometimes its just from taking drugs. I can't say things will ever be alright for u or myself but I hope you cope.
cant turn off underline but cheers there are others suffering with quality of life issues, Love from Oregon...
Deleted member 592205
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We don’t even know if we have downregulation or upregulation or hypersensivity or a mixed of the three on differents receptors, we only worsening things by trying random drugs before we could do a specific PET scan that tell us “yeah dopamine is downregulated and serotonin became upregulated and norandrenaline become hypersensitive with both GABA and alfa1, alfa2 receptors are downregulated,…..” and goes on like that.
Deleted member 592205
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It’s hilarious because we know the harming substance and we know how it affect the brain so basically the work it’s already done in his half, we are just missing a doctor with some balls and heart that will help us understood what is happening rn with proper exams and find the best “cure”.
But this is the true life is not some “Dr. House” or some shit fiction with that autistic Doctor Who is a gifted and will cure his patient before his collegues even make the proper exams, if you get what I mean..
Deleted member 592205
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They don’t even know why my ankle never healed after a micro fracture happened 13 months ago and it still hurt, since RX and RM are clean they cannot find the cause of my pain, let alone finding out what is wrong with our brain’s software of receptors and communication pathways.. We are into the 2026 year and not in the 2250 year
Deleted member 592205
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Maybe a civilization that can fool physic laws and it’s millions years ahead of Us in term of medical knowledge and scientific knowledge would heal us with some specific magnetic electrical frequency and some alien shit things but good luck be able to contact them and explain them our issue and being kidnapped by them to get healed and maybe did a nice trip with their ufo around the earth to then get placed in the bed of your house again completely healed.
Trueart2
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Are you still in the ward? @RisperdalConsta50mg
Deleted member 592205
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I’am back at my home since 3 days
Deleted member 592205
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Tomorrow I will hit 20 months after the last injection, i still have all the sympthoms with tinnitus since the 13th month mark (6 months non-stop) and honestly this don’t look good for my recovery..
Deleted member 592205
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From what I see I will hit 24 months same as now, completing the task of waiting 2 years because “it get better” and it would be a very strong hit to endure knowing i just waited 2 years for nothing and all the pain and agony bring me only tinnitus instead of a clean recovery
It's stated in the library of medine that there are drugs that can help with this issue,you should get those drugs since no one will give you,that's what the others did.
Deleted member 592205
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