Today “they” changed completely their attitude with me:
As usual, i came back to my home for the weekend (from Friday at 8:00 am to Sunday at 6:00 pm), for that I have to ask the permission; I have to fill out a specific form to request leave that I usually do monday and got approved without any issue by Thursday. And it went like that even this time, i got the permission two days ago.
My mother and her partner came to pick me up at 9, as agreed with both the substitute psychiatrist and the nurses. But they don’t let me go, they told me to wait because the main psychiatrist wanted to talk with me before i leave for the weekend.
So they made us wait from 9:00 to 10:00, in the meantime a nurse asked me to come into the nurses' room/pharmacy and asked me to take this medicine that the main psychiatrist prescribed me (Solian 50mg, the antipsychotic).
I refused to take him, then the primary psychiatrist called me back to her office (after making me, my mother and her partner wait for an hour), strangely preventing my mother from joining me for the interview as usually happened instead.
He mentioned the worsening of insomnia, appetite and general anxiety with panic attacks (obviously caused by the Wellbutrin) as instead a worsening of my "disease" condition and for this reason he thought it appropriate for me to take the Solian 50mg.
Then she mentioned that she never approved my weekly leave, so I pointed out that her replacement, whom I had spoken to both Wednesday and Thursday, had approved the weekly leave despite the side effects of the Wellbutrin, which was then discontinued.
She replied that the leave had not been "prescribed" as was usually done, telling me that therefore neither she nor her substitute had given the ok for my leave for the weekend, so she was trying to make it seem like I was leaving without authorization.
Then she said that she doesn't like "being forced into a corner" (I don't understand what she was referring to since the one who was practically forcing me to do something, that is, take Solian 50mg, was her) saying that if I don't take this drug then I will be discharged from the clinic, and she invited me to think about it very carefully this weekend.
everything happened with extreme hostility, arrogance and psychological pressure on her part, something that had never happened until today, on the contrary, she was always very cordial, delicate and understanding towards me, even her gaze had changed as well as her attitude and her tone.
Then she basically rudely sent me away, and I was able to go out and go home for the weekend. I told both my mother and her partner everything, and they also found it very strange what the doctor did and how she treated me. They agreed with me that a medication should only be taken if the patient (me) needs it, and it's not right to blackmail someone into taking it or apply psychological pressure to get them to take it.
The doctor who behaved like this with me today is not the same doctor I've been dealing with during these two and a half months of hospitalization, or rather, yes, she is still the same doctor, but today she was a completely different person, someone I didn't know until today, or at least, I didn't know this side of her that finally came out.
So basically, if all goes well, I'll be discharged from the clinic on Monday "because I refuse treatment," meaning I refuse to take an antipsychotic despite not having any psychosis, delirium, or hallucinations. If all goes badly, however, and they somehow succeed, they'll force me to stay in the clinic and force me to take Solian, but in that case, I already know who to contact (the organization that defends the rights of psychiatric patients, and the legal commission, with which I already won my first ruling, two months ago).
I apologize if this story is a long read, but I wanted to share with you what a complete and sudden change in the manner and attitude of the head psychiatrist and her assistant toward me occurred. It's fair to say that today their true colors and intentions have come out: They don't really want to help me.
@Trueart2