This is a success story. I was hospitalized for postpartum psychosis a year ago and given two shots of Invega Sustenna. I had insomnia, akinesia and anxiety for the first weeks (or maybe months) and would constantly pace all day long. I had to be constantly moving and couldn’t sit still. That finally subsided, but I was left with severe anhedonia. I struggled to shower or care for myself or my family. I was unable to think creatively at all. I had absolutely no motivation even to do the simplest of things like brush my teeth before bed. I could not feel emotions; I could not cry. I felt no endorphins when I exercised. Exercising felt like a miserable chore, when it was always something I enjoyed previously. I gained fifty pounds. I felt nothing when listening to music. Some of these symptoms slowly lessened over time. My menstrual cycle returned after about five months. But my mind was in a constant state of boredom. I would spend my days on the internet, watching YouTube videos, etc. trying to find anything to help distract me as I waited for the Invega to wear off. I would occasionally try walking every so often, but still found it incredibly unenjoyable. I had no appetite, no thirst reflex. I would have to force myself to drink water, and felt no desire for fruits or vegetables which I used to enjoy.Finally, after about a year, a neighbor who has worked with depression patients for many years, came over and encouraged me to try something. She said I needed to get up everyday, shower, get dressed out of my pajamas, and go for a walk. I tried to explain that I had already tried those things, and I felt angry at her because I felt she did not understand. But I decided to try it. The first day, after getting my kids ready for the day and off to school/my mom’s house, I went back to bed. But at noon, I got up, showered, got dressed, and went outside to walk. And I felt something different. I felt that spark again; the sunshine felt good again and I smiled. I spent the rest of the day in bed on the internet as usual. The next day, I did the same thing starting around noon. It took an incredible amount of effort those first two days, but each day it go a little bit easier. And slowly, slowly I was able to climb out of the hole. It took about a week. My concentration was still not great. And I would get a lot of anxiety in the evenings. But it has been three weeks now, and I can feel my concentration improving and the anxiety lessening significantly.I have been amazed at how quickly it has turned around. I feel almost completely back to normal. I feel like my old self again. I have energy and motivation again. I am able to socialize, laugh, joke, create, enjoy food, make dinner, care for my kids, clean, organize, everything. I feel happy again. And I have been enjoying life to the fullest in order to make up for lost time. I feel that at some point, the Invega had worn off enough for my receptors to receive dopamine and serotonin again. But I wasn’t aware of it until I started doing those things that would begin to fill them with those feel good chemicals again. I don’t smoke, drink, or take any recreational drugs; so I am unsure if those would have any effect on the healing process. But I just wanted to give some hope and encouragement. Hang in there. I was extremely suicidal for many, many months in the middle. After about eight months, those suicidal thoughts lessened. And if it wasn’t for my kids, I don’t know if I would have made it. But I’m so glad I did. Life is worth living again. You can heal. Hang in there. It will get better. You can make it.
