I know how you feel. There's people in these threads that've gone through the same. But I don't think you should be saying your issue is more severe out of sheer personal belief on something you sound like you've never gone through. Depression is bad too, like suicidal ideation, considering it, and then in worst case scenario making a plan and acting out on it. The feelings are dark and heavy with a mix of hopelessness and maybe worthlessness. On top of that you're exhausted and fatigued; sometimes to the point that you can't even work. I know your speech means the world to you as you're a writer, but people literally die by their own hands from depression. Not a dulled mind. Mr. Haldol here was considering killing himself earlier in his Invega recovery because he felt hopeless (sorry to bring that up Haldolhell).
You'll get your mental acuity back just like he's back to himself. None of this lasts forever. Just takes awhile.